>>You sound like a nice guy though, I think a lot of girls would be interested in someone like you, its just the confidence issue holding you back.
That made my day. As much as I hate to admit it I think you're right(13) she might be a lost cause, but I don't want to consider her a lost cause. I'm not looking for a girlfriend, or even go back to the e-boyfriend/e-girlfriend thing either. Just going back to what we did every day would be great (talking to eachother), because I enjoyed talking to her and I'd like to think she considers me a friend.
I used to be quite a charismatic person, before I left school I had lots of friends or at least people pretending to be my friend, even if it's just pretend it's ok because I still enjoyed my time with all of them.
What bugs me is that I've been gone for one year and 2008 is my second year, and none of my IRL friends have even tried to contact me or ask where I've been. They all know where I live and have my phone number. I don't mean to be an attention whore and disappear without a word but for absolutely zero people to be curious or even care where I've been kind of hurts. Even my online friends have been more concerned than the real life ones, some of them have written me real letters because for two months I was out of action and couldn't get online.
I have tried speaking with a counselor and it didn't work out well. Half a year ago, I was dragged into a counselor who works for my area's Mental Health Service because the school I attend had called them up and wanted them to see what was wrong. I spoke with the counselor and for some reason I was prescribed anti-psychotic drugs, it's called Seroquel maybe one of you guys have heard of it. At the time I didn't know what it was for so when I got home I did a bit of research before taking it. I found out it was a drug to treat bi-polar disorder, so I refused to take it. I honestly think the people there do not know what they are doing. I had read it was a drug that isn't recommended for those under 18 and one where you needed a prescription to obtain. Since I didn't fill either of those requirements I thought it was odd that they had given it to me.
I was later then taken to a hospital for minor's with mental illnesses because I denied bi-polarism and was considered hostile because I cussed at them when the tried to force me to take the pills. I didn't have access to a computer which is why A sent letters to me, I was able to reply to them right away and read them when I got home. I had warned A about this prior to being taken away except I told her if I didn't come back for a few days it meant I was probably in trouble and told her not to worry. When I got out, that was it. I never saw them again and they said I might need a check up 6 or so months later just to see how I'm doing.
Last week I had recieved a letter from the [Area Name] Mental Health Service requesting my prescence at a meeting to check up. If I did not attend I'd be terminated from their service. Which is a good thing because I do not like the idea of being in that horrible hospital.
Which brings me to the present, when I created this thread to just get this shit out because it can't be healthy to keep this bottled up and to stop being such a whiny bitch. I'm sorry for whining but since Personal Issues is full of rants and raves, I don't think one more would make a difference. Prior to this I had just started sending emails to myself with my rants and raves to try to reason with myself using the Socratic Method.