How to let a guy down (16)

1 Name: Lady x : 2008-04-16 06:06 ID:Idd1uqrR

I have a boyfriend of one year who goes to a collage six hours drive from mine. We talk everyday and meet up often, and he isn't my problem. I have a friend at my school that I am really close with and I can tell he has a crush on me. Its painfully obvious and I really feel bad that i need to turn him down. The thing is that i really enjoy hanging out with him and i don't want to ruin our friendship.

I know that that is a corny line, but i don't hae a lot of close males in my life and i'd be sad to lose him. I really need advice of how to prevent friendship disaster.

2 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-16 07:52 ID:9gpswNVV

You might have a 50% chance of this guy staying your friend if you reject him. Tough truth. Just don't flirt around and keep the friendship as unromantic as possible. He will either realize that you're not into him, and give up, or realize you're not into him, and become angry/depressed/indignant.

3 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-16 07:59 ID:iYFClsbM

People can't can't spell college don't belong in it.

That said, long distance relationships don't work. Dump your boyfriend.

4 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-16 08:24 ID:0uq4X5C5

>>3

>People can't can't spell college don't belong in it.

Sorry, were you saying?

To OP

Once you reject him it'll be awkward, I'd give as lost already. Have you set a date for crushing his heart? Let us know what happens.

5 Name: Cookie Monster : 2008-04-16 08:35 ID:lB/9XMEo

Hey,

there's no way for you to skip the awkward moment after the rejection. no way jose..

just dont make any moves until he makes a move and well... one way to ice him would be to start to talk to him less and send hints that you're not interested in him that way... i.e. talk about your boyfriend to him and etc.

good luck

6 Name: Lady x : 2008-04-16 15:07 ID:Idd1uqrR

>>2 -_- I actually started to relise he was into me back in december and while i have made an effort to make sure not to flirt with him I can tell that his crush has gotten worse.

>>3 I'm not at college for an english major lol, and so far my long distance relationship has been working out just fine.

>>4 thanks #4. I haven't set a specific date, but I will let you guys know when it all happens.

>>5 I really wish i could skip the awkward moment >_< I'll try to talk about my boyfriend more to diswade (i think that is the word) him from confessing to me.

7 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-16 15:19 ID:LOJOh1IS

Try joking with him. If you guys are friends, you can dump him as harshly as you want if you end it with a smile. By regularly pointing out that you love your boyfriend and that this guy is your buddy. Never quite striaght forward, hint it well. like:

"Oh you know I miss my boyfriend SO much! He's my heart.. . etc"
"I'm so glad that I have a friend like you. We'll be friends forever right?"
"You're the coolest friend a girl could have, I'll vouch for you to your girlfriend."
"Oh, I have this friend. . . She and I have different tastes, but I think you're her type. . ."

And the like

8 Name: Lady x : 2008-04-16 15:40 ID:Idd1uqrR

>>7 I'll try to keep that in mind. It would probably be a gould idea for me to think of some lines to say when everything happens.

do you guys think inviting my boyfriend to meet my friend, perhaps at a social event not a one on one meeting, would help? Or would parading my boyfriend be a little much?

9 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-16 18:18 ID:ALs21Oxs

He is not gonna stay around, watcing the girl you like with another guy? NOPE. And it is for the better, he needs to get OVER you and FORGET you. So, hopefully the friendship will end=all for the better

10 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-16 18:37 ID:Heaven

>I'm not at college for an english major lol

You still get marked on your grasp of the English language.

11 Name: Cookie Monster : 2008-04-16 20:36 ID:lB/9XMEo

hey

well what i meant to say was that you should talk about your boyfriend with the boy who has a crush on you.

that way you make him into one of your female friends...... don't make it too obvious though.

hmm yea i think that should work. if not i duno good luck with the awkward moment that is slowly approaching?

and as for the bringing the boys together in a social meeting, that's not necessary and that may spark some conflict between the two.

well good luck

12 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-16 22:12 ID:Vsp0Upi9

>that way you make him into one of your female friends...... don't make it too obvious though

That is going to make the guy feel like shit. Incredibly emasculating, not good.

13 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-16 22:36 ID:9yDs2UHi

>>12
yea that kind of stuff sucks balls, dont turn him into a confidant thatll make it more awkward when you have to crush his heart haha
....i should know...;;

14 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-17 04:21 ID:Heaven

>>10
Not if you don't live in an english speaking country, duh. There is a whole world out there.

15 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-19 12:37 ID:8//MHxDk

how did you know he has a crush on you? maybe.. he doesn't want you to know since he knows you already have a bf. so maybe he's just trying really hard to keep his feelings bottled up not to ruin your relationship w/ your bf.

Unless.. he's like a flirty and stuff... in that case, just tell him that you like him as a friend and you don't feel comfortable when he flirts all the time!

If not, I'll rather not confront him, cuz afterall, it's not against the law to have a crush on somebody! It's not like he won't like you anymore after you tell him you don't like him!

16 Name: Anonymous : 2008-04-19 21:32 ID:ZjosL/61

>>15
Yeah, I think that too. If he starts flirting, just hold him back and tell him you have a boyfriend and aren't interested, kindly but firmly.

If he doesn't make the move, well... just leave him be. It might be hard to see him suffer but that's a thing he must cope with himself. There's nothing you can do except take some distance or definitely break your friendship... but I don't think that's what you want and I don't think it would be the best for the two of you.

Also realize that as >>15 said, he might be trying hard not to bother you with that (even if it's evident after all, such feelings are hard to perfectly hide for most people), so confronting him might at the same time break him and prove all his efforts were worthless. Not a good thing imo. Don't encourage him, though. Don't be touchy-touchy, limit hugs, avoid stuff that he might interpret.

Also, you might want to try to help him find someone else (if you do this, do it SUBTLY - PLEASE)...

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