im worried about an intense rage that sparks through me whenever i see anything lesbian related. i dont have a problem with lesbians per se; it's just that my first love was one; things didnt go well.
i find that my rage is most intense when i see anything Kannazuki no Miko related, especially Chikane Himemiya. from what i can gather, the concept of another girl taking away a girl important to me is what i unconsciously became obsessed with. the scene where chikane rapes himeko drives me insane.
i used to be timid and lacking in confidence. what's crazy is that this rage has warped my personality into a more confident but more aggressive and impatient one.
when i need courage, this rage helps me through life. but when it sparks on its own, its just raw anger.
how can i control this? i plan on meeting her in the future; if i accidentally rage in front of her, our already worn down relationship will die for sure. please help me.
screwed up relationships can mess you up for awile.
had a girl i lived with for a couple of years cheat on me. i RAGE'd for over a year every time i saw a movie that had a adultery. then i got another girlfriend and got over it
what i meant is, it may seem easier if you date someone else before meeting her again.
Here's something that worked for me: I started taking Paxil (paroxetine) to take the edge off my OCD. It did that, a little bit, but didn't cure it. But I noticed that I stopped flying into a rage when surprised or hurt. I quit hitting and kicking things. I stopped breaking things. Now when I get angry, there's a reason for it, and it quickly goes away instead of coming back again and again in waves for an hour or more.
To deal with the side effect of lowered sex drive, don't take it for a couple of days over the weekend (may not be a good idea if you're taking it for depression). Aphrodisiacs such as a certain kind of plant can be useful too.