This may be a long post, so please bare with me. I appreciate any advice and similar experiences anyone wants to respond with.
I've always considered myself a very moral person, except for something that is threatening to ruin my life. The last few years I've been digging myself very deeply into several lies. I still don't know why I've done this, but it always seems to relate to a social anxiety issue (and a bit of laziness thrown in for good measure).
A little background: I'm an only child (a guy) who still lives at home. I'm 24. I graduated high school with decent grades in 2002, and started to commute to a college during the next fall. Everything was going fairly well (other than changing to my major from something pretty interesting, biology, to something decidedly less interesting, psychology; and getting only decent grades). During this time, I was a waiter (I have been, on and off, since then), mostly paying my own way through college(even after losing my scholarship for below par grades). On top of being very shy, I also have an issue with depression; I've attempted to kill myself a couple of times in the past (a couple serious attempts, and a couple not-so serious).
I guess the lying started last year when I quit my waiting job rather abruptly; I kept up the lie to my parents that I was still working there for quite some time. I eventually got caught. Now, however, I am lying about going to school (I dropped my classes earlier in the semester), graduating in the fall (I am 9 hours short), and working at a restaurant (I quit it two days into training).
I think the reason why I decided to get some advice about this now is because it has recently dawned on me what I'm really doing to myself, my parents, and my future. Lately, from just thinking about it, I've made myself physically ill. I don't know to lie anymore. I know the easy (if you can call it that) answer is to admit all of these things, to find work, and to graduate. Saying it is so much easier than doing it, of course I do not live in a very job-rich area; my job search has been a joke. I need money to pay for tuition for the fall, so I can graduate. And currently, I am broke as shit. This includes my parents, so there will be no assistance there. On occasion, I still think about ending it.
takes a deep breath Alright, sorry. I apologize about it being long, but like I said, any advice or similar personal experiences is appreciated.
Stop lying and get psychiatric help
Women lie all the time and don't seem to have any problem with that
Secrets are what makes a woman a woman
I know lying is unhealthy, but sometimes I just can't stop myself. I'm a college dropout but I have a job, i'm planning on going back to college...
I lie all the time. Sometimes it's not something I want to do. I just lie because I like lying. I like to see if I can get away with it and if they acuse me of lying half the time I will confess and tell them the truth.
I feel bad about it but I really can't stop myself.