What's your point on socializing? For me, it seems kind of pointless. I would rather indulge myself with internets at home rather than hanging out with people. It is going to be a huge problem to me in the future though, I am almost 21 and applying to study in a local college and I cant imagine myself staying the way I am for the next decade. I think I will need some help soon.
Well I'm most comfortable at home, but go to college (am 17 and British, I think college is different here) and get all depressed because I'm socially retarded and nervously wracked, but everyone else is so loose and comfortable. I think I would enjoy talking with other people and living a more normal life if I could sort my horrible self esteem problem out (a problem I've had essentially all my life, and direly wish/NEED to put right).
I try to think as positively and empathetically as possibly while at college but it doesn't help, I still feel horrendously pathetic (which I am) when surrounded by others my age. Logically I think I've pinned down the essence of my problem but putting it to practice is a WHOLE other problem.
Like you I have trouble imagining life spent mostly away from the computer, but I think it's a matter of getting the ball rolling, then everything else comes naturally - not like, everyday, you force yourself to hang out with people (which is what it has often looked like to me in the past, when I was a bit more cynical). I wouldn't know, but that's my guess.
I've been thinking of help too, maybe some place I can go that helps you come out of your shell and things. Could be worth a go, but I don't know any places like that around here as of yet.
Fuck, you're my own clone. Except I started college last year, got overwhelmed with group assignments, and by now I'm already flunking various classes with the delicious prospect of dropping out and killing myself in mind every single day.
I socialize because there is nothing, nothing, like the feeling you get when you're riding in a car to who-cares-where with close friends you feel perfectly comfortable with. Laughing, making good natured fun of each other... that's happiness.
There are several social groups I count myself as a part of. My main one is mostly made up of acquaintances, but I have a few close friends too. People are always drifting in and out of the picture, and I try to be friendly to every one of them. Because I never know when the new friend of a friend is going to turn into one of the most important people in my life.
It's hard finding groups like these. The only advice I can give the posters here is to always look for good excuses to talk to people. I know I'm not good at talking to strangers when I haven't been introduced to them. But a few weeks ago I randomly complimented a girl in my class on her choice in band t-shirt, and we've been talking ever since. Which is nice.
>>4 totally agree with this. Although there have been times when I've been with my BEST friends and I get antsy to get back home and to the internet...but that's usually 'cause I like dorky things like RP'ing.
Best friends IRL are irreplaceable, though.
I know a lot of people, but I have a very small inner circle. I didn't used to be social, however. I used to be very shy, and in high school I had almost no friends at all. I was sick of that person and so I decided to do something about it.
I have met so many people by talking to them randomly! I once commented on a guy's cast...(Oh no, how did that happen?) and we got to talking, and then he introduced me to his friend, who is one of my closest friends today.
Yeah, I kind of hate it when all our time turns into RPing time. I'm like, dammit, I want to spent some time with you, not with your character.
Eventually, I decided that it would be a long time, if ever, before I came across people I could call real friends again.
I was too tired of assholes, and it was too draining to keep socialising with the people i encountered in my life, so I mostly stopped it altogether. Talking to strangers, being friendly to everyone all the time, forcing myself to hang out with people just isn't my thing most of the time. I decided I was happy to just forget the whole idea for a good while.
And happy I was, for a good while.
But now I'm not particularly happy with it. I find myself longing for the kind of companionship I used to have, well, maybe not longing, but feeling kinda sad I don't have it. So, now i'm trying to be more open and friednly, as getting to know new people as much as I can. I'm undecided on whether or not i regret having not bothered to socialise for so long- I might have met new, nice friends by now, or be closer to doing so, but, I was very content for a long time too. meh.
I have the same problem, preferring to stay home and internet or play games instead of hanging out with real people. I ended up joining an anime club for that reason; it gets me out of the house and hanging out with people at least once a week. It's gotten to the point where we enjoy making plans outside of club, too. A little social interaction is healthy, since it gets you ready to deal with people when you get into the working world.
Sad truth about modern social interaction is that it resembles talking to RPG characters. Shit is repetitive and predictable.
Sad truth about modern social interaction is that it resembles talking to RPG characters. Shit is repetitive and predictable.
I think socializing can be a pain but I think it pays off if you can find really good friends. I mean isn't life lonely without them?
>>12 It's lonely without rpgs, seriously what's up with this year's HUGE LACK OF EM, i'm gonna crazy. And yes i have friends but i rather hang out with rpgs
This cat has it on the fucking spot.
Whenever I feel like shit, I usually just withdraw and ball up, and start to think. However, whenever I do come in contact with a friend, I feel fucktons better.
Making close friends is the best decision you can make in your life. I, for one, know my life wouldn't be worth living without, oh, say...
Four, five people. All of them are friends.
Socializing is a risky hobby. Back when I still interacted with people, they would always make me feel worse. I would feel like shit, look at my friends and how much happier they were than me, and then feel jealous, only compounding my dread. I don't know if they meant well or not, but that's beside the point; the matter of the fact is that I ended up feeling worse. I'm much better off by myself.
>>15
Some people are just better off alone. Everyone's different.
I'm not that big on socializing. I've had friends, I've gone out, and you know what? It's fun, yes, but it's not the one true thing that is great in this world, and it irks me when people act like it is. People who "move on" (aka getting rid of a part of themselves) to becoming more social always seem like they're on a high horse because they surround themselves with people and are JUST HAVING FUN EVERYDAY WITH THEM HAHAHA ^__^ yeah fuck you, I'm having fun everyday with my hobbies with my free time alone.
Oh sure, I have a couple best friends, then I have some friends which don't mean much to me. Its good to have them, yes. But come on, friends are just one of lifes many enjoyments, and there's a lot more things to enjoy then just socializing.
Many people consider me as their friend.
I enjoy being alone though, I love it when I have all the time and moment for myself. Usually when i'm out with my friends, i'm thinking, "What the hell am I doing here? I should be enjoying by myself alone right now.". But I just go out with them (and socialize) because they're my friends, I mean they're always there to give a hand even when I don't ask for it.