The title says it all, while everyone is planning trips with their friends this summer, I'll be alone in my room...again. How do I make friends without going out and getting myself killed? (I have a slight fear of leaving the house). Failing tips, anyone want to chat? I'm really lonely after 3 straight years of doing this.
Can you say me your name young man? I might be able to check your name in the universal computer 42 and change your situation...
Lonely-chan, i'll be your friend.
Don't worry, we are all friends here! Let's plan some virtual fun!
I've got the snacks!
Ah, that's how I feel sometimes OP
Try to develop an interesting hobby to keep your mind off the loneliness, it really helps
Thanks you guys, really means a lot to me :) I have a lot of hobbies (I play 4 instruments, sing, dance, play games, watch anime, the list goes on) but I think my fear of leaving the house really doesn't help.
I'm a reasonably nice guy though and my dream is to go and volunteer helping kids, maybe I could meet people through there?
If you have trouble leaving the house and feel lonely, I suggest you read the following book. "Hope and help for your nerves" I had the exact same problem years ago and that book helped me out alot.
>>9
Thanks, I'd love to but I'm stuck in a vicious circle, I'm too scared to leave the house to get a job which would give me money to leave the house, etc. I'll take a look for it online and see what comes up though.
We have similar hobbies Lonely-chan. You could definitely meet people through there.
try contacting your old friends(you must have friends at some point right?) even if you haven't talk to them for ages. some of them should willing to get together and catch up with you. then ask them to introduce you to their friends
Best way to overcome your fear is to confront it straight on. Force yourself to go outside. Make plans with old friends, volunteer at a local organization for helping needy children, or even take a walk. You'll eventually find that you have nothing to be afraid of in the outside world.
Yeah, everyone we should all do something together, like start a forum or something for Lonely-chan.
Great success is upon us!
I took a leap and asked a guy if he wanted to do something this weekend. He was like "uhh no I'm going camping this weekend" so I was about to frown until he said "so do you wanna come with us?". I can't believe I got invited out somewhere, this is like winning the lottery for me. But the problem (as some of you may have guessed) is that I'm not just going outside, but out into the woods with a bunch of guys that could be thinking negative thoughts. I hope I'm going to be ok...
Congratulations!
What do you mean by "thinking negative thoughts?"
Yay! Lonely-chan! Give us some updates on the trip, when you get back!
I don't think that would happen. That's probably due to your fear of the outside. I'm sure you'll be okay!
I wonder when Lonely's going to get back...
Sorry, I haven't had much news recently, except I'm no longer going camping. I don't know why not but I'm hurting pretty bad from it. The only good news is that I left home alone today:
I went out to hand out CVs for a new job because I could do with the cash, so I walked 2 miles into town and although most stores had 0 vacancies one I went to took my CV and a really pretty girl kept smiling and blushing when I spoke to her, something tells me I'm not the only one that would be happy if I get this job... Then on the way home I stopped off at the site of a new Sikh Temple and ate a picnic before heading home. It was a beautiful day out and I wasn't expecting everyone to smile and say hello to me as I walked. This has given me a lot of hope to try this again soon.
Nevertheless, on another Friday night spent alone basking in the glow of my monitor, I still wish I had someone to be with or talk to. Loneliness, for me, strikes hardest after I realise what I could have but how empty my life is.
Oh well, sitting at home feeling sorry for myself isn't going to help.
I love you all and thanks for caring!
>>23 I'm sorry mate it didn't work out. At least you tried, better luck next time!
>>24
Thanks, I spoke to him sometime between me posting that and this and he said we'll meet up sometime after he gets back. I don't want to jinx it but I'm looking forward to it.
If there's anyone out there that wouldn't mind cheering me up please feel free to ask for my email address. I don't mind what gender, etc as long as you really want to chat and not just have me talk my ass off :P
^ age & gender = ?
>>25
Sure, I wouldn't mind talking. What is it?
I'm always looking for friends to chat with. Do you have windows live messanger or anything? would be cool
I have the same problem: no friends whatsoever. Although I do have a job and I talk to my coworkers. I had two very close friends in high school, but after hs I had something of an emotional breakdown and I became a recluse like OP. I want to catch up with my old friends, in fact one has been calling me to hang out, but I've gained a lot of weight since the hs days and I'm don't want to be judged.
Get a myspace, for years I was friendless and the past year I found the greatest friend ever, we're going to be moving out and hes going to be my roommate.
I'm a guy (probably scared a few people off now) and I'm delighted at the response. Thanks again guys, my email address is ivory.keys@live.com and I honestly don't mind who adds me.
>>29
Weight can be lost, beat it before it beats you!
http://www.crossfit.com/
>>30
I had one and I hated it, PC4PC and "hey I'm adding you because you look cool not because I want to look cool with 1,000 Myspace friends" drove me insane.
up
Oh, I really should start using my name for posts too. Apologies.
Bad news, sorry for the inconvience but I forgot my password. Send your emails to ivory.keys@gmx.com for now until I can figure how to set up a new one (Hotmail isn't working properly for me).
Update time!
I just broke up with my girlfriend (or rather she broke up with me after I hinted I was done) over something really trivial. She had a message on her profile from a guy that seemed a little over interested and she decided to PM him back rather than leave a comment. Little things I know, but I want to move on, right now I'm in the "fuck that bitch" stage but slowly but surely it's descending into utter sadness that I lost the one person that talks to me. She dropped the bomb then logged straight off saying she'd email me, but being as foolish as I am I sent her one first saying how I don't care that we're done and I don't mind being right.
What the hell is the matter with me? Even if she wasn't sure, I think I pretty much killed it off with that stupid email. First time I've said it in a year or so but I hate myself so much right now, everything is falling apart. No job, no SO, no friends, no money, the list grows and grows while I sink into a shell of a person.
I would ask how to get her back but... well... I know I've pissed her off and I can't unsend the email.
Can someone email me please? I haven't got any yet but a shoulder to cry on or just a few friendly words would be fantastic right now.
In the mean time I'm walking to a grassy area to cry this off.
Lonely-chan out.
I have friends... But i'm kinda lonely too, I guess after 23 years, i'm unconsciously starting to look for my SO. But the loneliness is bearable... Might sound strange but I just usually cheer myself up and it works. Cheer up man, destruction brings beauty - that's what I recently learned.
man, i was just like that when i was younger. i went through years- long periods without friends. it sucks, but it will pass eventually.
you guys are pretty awesome and supportive of each other- it's good to see that :)
I don't have any friends either. I'm quite active socially, but I am strictly business. I haven't "gone out" socially in a year or so. To make matters worse, I've moved to over 9000 cities in the last two years.
I have zero problems socially, but a lack of time and enthusiasm about people leads me away from making friends. Lonely-chan, I will be your friend. :)
I guess I somewhat understand how you feel I am currently living in a deserted part of the world. I have lost all contact with people I knew in the past and dont know anyone here. Even worse is that I found out that we will most likely move again next year. I am so tired of this and so painfully lonely.
I don't have many friends either. In fact, there's only one.: my boyfriend, he's my best buddy and I wouldn't know what I would do without him.
There are other people who might think I am their friend. But after a short time, I lose all interest in them. It's not that I don't like them, I WANT to have friends, but their presence starts to bore me and eventually gets annoying.
So I start to avoid them, tryng not to be hurtful. It's not their fault, obviously there's something worng with me.
I guess I'm doomed to have distance-friendships without too much contact.
well, u can't always rely on some1 coming over to u n offering to b friends. u need to have that sort of initiative. or else u'll end up living in ur own little shell n nevr being able to smell da fresh air n enjoy the sun shining on u.
i was kinda like Lonely_chan too. i use to have no friends n b laughed at by cruel ppl who've got no hearts.
its how u handle situations like these n nevr let them beat u down. that way, u'll stay confident. confident enough to go out n introduce urself to various ppl n perhaps make more friends?
it actually doesn't take long to make heaps n heaps of friends. dun b too critical of others too soon n nevr judge ppl. staying true to urself is most important. if ppl like u, they will stick with u naturally. dun try n b some1 ur not or else ppl might end up being disgusted.
go out, hav some fun, make a few friends. take this as a challenge. soon enough, ur friends will introduce their friends. not long after that, ur mobile would b brimming with so many contacts!
thank u >>43. feel so complimented!
u really need to hav experienced stuff like these in order to understand how to overcome emotional turmoils.
dun u think that the biggest enemy >>1 had to face was herself? she had to overcome her own fears b4 sstepping out? i think b4 making friends, we should all ask ourselves if we're ready or not. that way, there's no excuse to run away from being introduced. lol
Wow I left this thread because I thought it had died. Amazing to see see others like me, maybe we should start a group to bring lonely people together and help each other to find/build new relationships with other people.
@greentea.o5: I agree, the moment you try to be someone you're not is the moment life starts to slip away. It's upsetting to hear people were to cruel to you, but I'm glad you've pulled through it.
Oh yeah, and it's true, I had a lot of demons to face up to back when I first started this thread, but two amazing people emailed me through here and one has spent countless hours pushing me to be the social flower I could be. I honestly think that without them I'd have spent a few weeks straight indoors. Although I still have a little trouble and do all of my shopping online. I'll get there eventually... I hope.
@Friend-chan: Maybe you could organise a night out with your coworkers? I'm sure they'd love to let off some steam and get to know each other a little better. Even if a few say no, I'm sure a lot will say yes just to get out for a few hours.
@>>38/>>39: You sound like a charming guy/girl that just needs a push, I'm sure you can get there with a little help (I'm willing to be there for you). Maybe even going to a bar alone would help? People are always chatty there. Remember, we all have 24 hours each day, it's how we use them that makes the difference.
Oh, and thanks! :P
@>>40: Do you live with any brothers/sisters at all? If so, tag along with them, I'm sure they wouldn't mind too much if you told them the honest reason why you wanted to spend time with them, and probably would introduce you to people closer to your age. Also, try speaking to your parents and letting them know how hard it is for you to keep moving at such a crucial stage of your life.
@>>41: That's so sweet to hear something like that. Silly question: do you live near your boyfriend? I'd advise the same as I did for >>40 in that you tag along with his friends. If I've thought this through correctly, you are (or were for an extended period of time) an only child, thus used to your own company. You don't dislike the people but you dislike them invading your inflated personal zone because you're not adjusted to it yet. Forgive me if I'm wrong, my intentions are good.
Anyway, I suggest you try immersing yourself in an environment where you'd have to deal with lots of people on a regular basis to help break down this barrier.
The great thing about 4-ch is the whole community aspect and it's great we're all here for each other. I love each and every one of you that is helping me and others like myself get through this. I'm still open to emails at ivory.keys@gmx.com or find me on synIRC in #4-ch (irc://irc.synirc.net/4-ch).
Thanks again, I hope we can all get through this together.
lol self-confidence had a lot to do with the change.
yes yes, we should start a groupto bring lonely people together? any suggestions?
Maybe we could start an IRC channel?
I'll be honest, I just woke up from the worst nightmare I've ever had. I was 37 years old but didn't look a day older than I am now (which I am assuming has something to do with saying that I've acheived nothing and am basically the same person, just years older) and a guy fell off of this building who aged backwards in my arms until he we a screaming baby whose eyes roled back and....
Well I forced myself awake here. I can still hear him now and tears are streaming down my face, the sight of him in pain crushes me and I couldn't help him. I'm not usually into drems but that one really hit home very hard. I'm done, I want to go out and live my life before it's over.
Oh, and #lonelychat on synIRC.
Sorry for triple post last two were me.
hobbies help out a lot.
very social games like TCGs and RPGs are a big plus. Shooting or building something helps. basically if theres a convention for it and you're interested in it theres scores of friends and activities to get involved in