The title says it all, while everyone is planning trips with their friends this summer, I'll be alone in my room...again. How do I make friends without going out and getting myself killed? (I have a slight fear of leaving the house). Failing tips, anyone want to chat? I'm really lonely after 3 straight years of doing this.
>>50
I'm up for whatever, do you have any browser based ones you'd recommend?
Browser hobbies? Other than general social networking like tribes, craigslist and meetup.com i'm not aware of any good browser based games. but i was more of suggesting table top hobbies to kinda get you out and meeting people near you that are into the same thing.
if you're willing to go with it playing yugioh or magic the gathering online is fun. anonidate is good too.
>>52
Anonidate it is then. I'm not looking for love, just a friend to cherish. Tabletop games sound good if a little expensive but I'll see what I can do. I'll check out Yugioh too, thanks for your help MK-san.
anonidate can help with friends. i met a friend on there last month.
table top games dont have to be too expensive. especially if you play the right ones. in nearly every town there should be a general gaming store that sells table top games. sometimes its the same place as comic stores. if you have a hard time finding one look for the nearest one on magic the gathering's website. any place that holds magic tournaments are bound to have other table top games.
if you want to really keep your money in your pocket i would reccomend Anima, King's Blood, and Munchkins. they're all stand alone games that are very fun in groups and serve as wonderful poker night games for friends to hang out.
i reccomended yugioh and magic because trading card games are inherently social because trading is a big factor in casual environments.
Hei bby! I'm so worried about you, whats going on? Things are not going so well as I see for u right now. I wish i could help you.
You know i love you and you know you can trust me, but for some reason you don't do that.
Please contact me ASAP and confirm your wellness!
Batty
where was crap like this when i was going through this problem?
i went through several years-long phases in my life where i had no friends- you guys all seem pretty awesome and supportive of each other, at least in some way you don't have to deal with it alone.
i am now 35, have a husband, and plenty of friends ranging in age from 17 - 37 years old. we live in a house with a couple of room mates, and spend our time partying/ hanging out/ gaming.
unfortunately, i am kind of becoming a recluse again. people can come see me all they want, but i am developing a real issue in leaving my house. it's ok if i'm with my husband/ friends, but i have a hard time going anywhere alone.
i wonder if these kinds of social issues ever really go away?
I feel like Lonely-chan at the beginning of this thread.
I've spent so many years being quiet that I am slightly anxious even when paying for things, facing the cashier. It's not that I'm depressed, I have my happiness and a person I can really talk to, but sometimes that person is also a weight and I feel I have to get away. I suppose I'm bound to be like this, but I really do want to make more friends. I attend a "life-long learning" class but it seems the people there are of different ages, situations, and do not seem particularly interested in talking much.
I guess, I would like some help as well.
Hi, I haven't posted in a while although I have been watching the thread.
I think it makes sense for me to post now because I'm lost. The last week I've barely eaten (today I ate 2 bagels and some toast, which for a guy over 6 foot and a muscular build just isn't enough). I've stopped sleeping as much, yesterday I had just over an hour but I average 2-3 per day now. I've had real mood swings from apathy to depression to blind rage (more often than not I'll get really angry over nothing and sit around crying). Plus to top it off I've had a lot of headaches/tummyaches and my skin looks awful.
My guess is I can't take the stress anymore and it's finally getting to me. Today I woke up and cried because I hoped I would have died in my sleep.
The only release I have from this relentless depression is this girl I like. I haven't told her yet but I'm sure she knows, maybe I'll tell her soon.
But, back on topic, I really don't know what to do - I'm sure it's not normal to fantasize about dying. A few nights back things got a little overwhelming and I almost went through with it. "Luckily" in the time it took for me to find the major artery in my wrist I found someone to talk me out of it.
I don't know what I'm looking to achieve with this post, I'm almost certain that if things don't change soon I'll disappear before the end of the month. It is relieving that I can tell you guys this stuff though. I just hope a certain someone doesn't read this or I'll have some explaining to do.
Anyway: if you ever get the chance to save someone in my position, take it. You'll never know how serious they were until you realise you haven't seen them online for a few weeks and they don't respond to any emails.
What's stressing you out? What happened a few nights back?
I love you, talk to me please, maybe i can help u a little. At least i could try to cheer you up, and im 100% serious with that post. You know where to find me ;_;
dont hurt yourself sweetheart, its not worth it, yer the most awesome guy ever and im certainly not the only one who is thinking like this! Start eating properly and goddamn, fly to estonia, so i could take care of u :3
this thread needs to be updated!
Hey, long absence. Recently, my friendster were visiting me frequenty. I realized that friends doesn't always mean happiness. I don't know, I just think i'm not the kind that likes my kind... Anyway, they're still my friend, i'm just too lazy to actually interact with them.
Hope you're doing fine Lonely-chan. You have us, even if we're anonymous. Somebody always cares!
Hello Friend-Chan!
Sometimes I feel the same about the friends. Lately I have been ignoring most of them (including my family) and it actually makes me feel good. I sure don't care about anything and have no motivation to care enough about the people around me either, if you know what I mean. For some reason it feels good.
I remember from my childhood, when I used to spend some time in the summers at my uncles place, countryside. And every time their family had visitors I felt like "Damn, another bad day with guests".
Hi Lonely-Chan! Take yourself together and bring us some joy through your news/update!
bump
Wow, people want to hear from me? Fantastic! Thanks for your concern, I'm still here plodding along with life, a few near-misses here and there but I'm otherwise fine.
Words cannot convey how amazing it is to have people out there that care about you, thank you all again.
I'm glad people can identify with my persona I've put forward, and hopefully we can all move forwards and out of loneliness.
Updatewise: I spoke to her and it's progressing reasonably well. I've broken relationships with several people, gained a few too, I think for the first time in a while I can say I have at least one friend.
I don't know what else to say but I'm sure at least one person will reply to this, until then remember I love you all.
>>70 You can't imagine how happy the knowledge of you still being around makes me feel!!! Please update more often, seriously :)
How are you doing Lonely-Chan? Pity you don't consider me one of your friends though. Good luck, you can beat the issue, I believe in you!
Hello OP!
How is the most awesome living man doing tonight? :) I hope everything is OK. Just wanted to tell you how awesome you are, so you wouldn't be feeling down about yourself. Your personality literally rocks! Keep us up to date with your approaches! :)
Hello /personal/! I'm not really sure to say with this message, I'm SO lonely, it's been going on for like a week now, and to be honest. This is pretty much the most depressed I've been for a long time. I sit down and want to just cry, but the tears won't come. I want to shout but I don't have the words.
I feel so raw and vulnerable, my appetite is gone and I have terrible cottonmouth from not as much water as I really should.
Help?
I'm so sad right now and I really need someone, I think 72 and 73 know me so email me, call me, please. I'm tired of making up excuses for why I've stopped talking and I sit around head in hands, I want to talk. Not just about me, I just want to chat with someone.
Whoops, I forgot to add, thanks for your support 71! <3
I don't have your number, otherwise i would call. I would call you every day to make sure that you are doing okay :)
Hello OP.. i remembered something.. i could call, but i don't know if i have the right number. I prefer not to do it right now though, as I'm not 100% sure about it. Do u remember, when I called u long time ago and talked to *** saying I'm Scandinavian luwah? :P
Sorry for strong stalking skills.. i will be around again in some hours, if u want a friend to talk to, i will be around..
>>78 makes me want to get reprogrammed. I admire those people who are kind and happy almost nonstop. Yes, I'm jealous over the people who smile from heart, just because I want to be like them as well! i hope life grows me different from what i am right now, so i could become a better and more caring person.
Good luck Friend-chan :)
This is somewhat related to the thread, I guess.
Where is a good place to make new friends? (Assuming I don't have any friends currently.) I'm 17 year old girl, I can drive. I live in a small town but close enough to a large city to be able to visit there frequently. To be honest, it's hard to say what my interests are anymore, other than gaming, so I'm thinking of expanding my horizons and finding some new things to do, since I really don't know what to do anymore. I'm open to anything really, as long as it doesn't cost a lot..
Thanks in advance.
;( I'm having the same problem.
I'm married but i don't have any girlfriends or friends that are males...
D:
I've been living in this country around 3 years, and 0 friends...
:D sometimes i want to kill myself.
My Only friend it's my hubbie but i need someone else to hang out and stuff and feel secure besides him because there's stuff that i can't share with him & stuff you know, like what i i think of i don't know...
I can be your friend.
I didn't have any friends until I joined a bunch of social networking sites. I have a really nice group of close, reliable friends now. Here's the websites I use:
OKCupid
PlentyOfFish
Mingle2 (Previously "JustSayHi")
Anonidate
If you only join one, I suggest OKCupid. I've made most of my friends on there. Most of these claim to be dating sites, but you can just as easily select "Looking for friends only". Good luck.
>>80
At 17 I'll assume you're in some sort of schooling, right? I made a bunch of friends through gaming at school, just don't be afraid to put yourself out there. Give out your gamertag/Steam name/whatever most gamers would love somebody to play with when servers start to empty out.
Also, put yourself out there, friends rarely find you, you need to go get them. Last year I set up LAN parties at college every Friday Try looking at social events at the mall and consider giving someone a lift home. It often starts with a small action which would lead to a brief chat when you bump into each other again, at this point getting their number (male or female) is a great idea.
Keep us updated!
PS if you don't mind having friends online, IRC is a great place to chill out and chat without there being too much pressure on you to be extra social. I wouldn't recommend going in with a feminine name though...
>>81
I really should stop assuming but I'm guessing you have a job, talk to the people at work! Consider asking to take a few out for drinks after work one Friday even if you don't want to drink, just get a glass of orange juice and relax. If, by chance, you don't like them, stick with it and keep meeting them outside of work and they'll introduce you to their friends over time, especially if they know you're new to the country. Before you know it you'll have your very own social circle!
But if anyone wants to email me go ahead, I usually check everyday: ivory.keys@gmx.com
>>77
Haha yes, that was a fun night :) I didn't hear the end of that for a while. I'll probably be on IRC later, see you on?
>>79
I think most of us that are like that spent a lot of time alone as children not having to learn to cope with other people, now we're a little older we have to deal with it but haven't the tools. I'm sure it can be fixed, maybe if we spent more time around the people that frustrate us the most?
>>82
Good call, thanks for the sites, will check them out tonight.
Lonely-Chan,
I have a job but i do it at home, by internet. D: (No pals)
I don't like to drink, smoke or do drugs.
Now we definitely need to talk! I'd love to work from home.
But that makes things a little more difficult, where in the world are you?
Oh, and how's Mr. Mandy's social life?
>>80 here..
Actually, I'm not in school, but I will be starting college in less than 2 months. I don't have a job, either, but I've been -thinking- of getting one.. I've never had one and I'm really nervous about it. About joining clubs and such, I was in the video game club for a year or so, but I never really had much fun. They mostly were into Halo/UT/other FPS games so that's all we played, and those aren't my type of games. Plus, many of them were annoying and/or didn't bathe... Not to mention, I'm a girl, and most of them were guys. For some reason I tend to think of men as a different race or something, and find them hard to talk to/act around, even when I like them or want to be their friend. I just get nervous and act really awkward, my mind begins to focus only on how I am coming off to the other people, rather than what we're actually talking about, which leads to problems..
So as you can tell, I'm not good with people because of my self-consciousness. However, I really would like to try and make some new friends. I have plenty of online friends, but it's just not the same as being face-to-face with people.
I think I took somewhat of a step forward today. I forced myself out of the house and went to Gamestop. The guy at the register was really nice, so when I went to pay for my game I made myself start some smalltalk by asking a question about the game. It actually made me feel better. However, now I'm wondering, how the heck do I actually make friends by doing things like that?
Well, any help would be appreciated.. thanks. :D
>>89 Hello! Having a job is always fun, you anyways have to talk to the coworkers and its just a question of time to become more or less close with the people. Usually people try to get along well and are very friendly, specially as you are just starting to work. They help out with all kind of problems and its most likely to become good friends with the new people in early stages, while you have just met them. I think its a good idea!
And of course you will get some new friends as you start the college! Just be more talk-active and stop worrying so much about how you come off than try to talk about random things. Talk your mind :) Then again, I know its really hard to do!
I'm usually rather shy in new situations. But sometimes, when i subconsciously realize the person is weaker/more shy/more afraid/etc than me, I become very confident and I think i come off as a person who knows what she is doing (but i might look like a total bitch to the other person).
The way you acted in the Gamestop today was a really good way of starting a convo. Just keep on doing this, as you become more confident and forget about the other issues. I think practice has it all. The more you do it, the more dull/ordinary it looks to you, and the easier it is for you to step further to the next level! (yes i know how hard it can be, trust me!)
Give it some time and go!
Just remember, that nobody can make friends overnight!
:) Good luck! and let us know how it is going :)
>>Having a job is always fun
WROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG.
>>89
Lather, rinse & repeat!
Nice job at Gamestop today, now just keep doing it and after a few times you'll get a little better acquainted, at that point it should pretty much flow. Ask if he's busy after work one time if he doesn't ask you first, visit him when he's not doing much (work is so boring, he'll really appreciate it).
Also, I'll bet guys are uncomfortable around you too, most people are a little on edge around the opposite sex, don't worry too much about it. It will fade over time.
>>90 is full of helpful advice :)
PS: Do you have Steam?
>>92 umm.. I can redownload it. In fact, I will download it right now. you know what my username is, add me :)
>>94 HEHE OKAY FINE FINE!! brb uninstalling it..
sup, come to irc ;)
where is u? :3
bump... 7 days already...
Now got some friends?
Wow, this is still alive? I'm glad to be able to look back on how far I've come since I posted this thread. I guess you guys really pushed me to see the best in myself and stop worrying so much.
Don't get me wrong, I still worry all the time, but now I worry that the dinner I've cooked isn't delicious. Still silly, but a leopard can't change its spots! I'm actively volunteering and it's a challenge but I really do enjoy it.
To anyone reading this, the best advice I can give you is that people are like cats. They're scared as scared of you as you are of them and the harder you chase, the faster they'll run away. I used to be a little too nervous about what people thought, so if I perceived something someone said as negative, I'd bite back unnecessarily hard and end up losing them.
When I look back, I spent all of my time playing games, listening to music and, well, fapping. The world felt tiny because I didn't let myself see it. But after a little push, I realised that damn, the world is really really cool.
Thanks to everyone who posted, read and emailed me, you all helped me to where I am today and I'm eternally indebted to you