This. This right here. Every time I've been doing really well in life (or at least by my standards) I screw something up. Yes, me. I do something stupid that gets people angry at me or me at myself. It's self-inflicted and arguably accidental most of the time.
What's worse is when people give you a choice between two unpleasant things, or force you into doing something. Right now I'm having college problems because I had to either go into the Navy or college after high school. So to college I went with no idea what I wanted to do and the idea that what I had picked out as a major (randomly) I could stick with.
Boy was I wrong. Now I'm depressed and failing classes left and right. I tried to change my major but my parents nixed the idea since I was in my senior year (I'm a 5th-yr senior right now). If my mom wants me to do something and I don't want to she gets all pissed off about it and whines about how it'll help me in an undefined 'someday' that I'm pretty sure isn't coming.
I met this waitress at a restaurant who was beautiful. I gave her my email. She sent me an email, but I didn't find out until three weeks later. I did reply, but she hasn't gotten back to me. I'm almost afraid to try again.
I'm honestly tired of caring. The only thing I want to do right now is run away and join a railroad. (Joining the circus is too cliched, after all.)