Hey (8)

1 Name: Anonymous : 2008-10-17 05:50 ID:7k9mMGt/

You see, I skipped junior high and went to high school. My parents were very adamant about me progressing in the world. I never really had great social skills, but I tried to at least talk to people. I always tried too hard, and people found me annoying. I wasn't really bullied or harassed; I was just alone.

I know that it doesn't sound like a big deal. Everyone is alone sometimes, and everyone feels alone sometimes. To me though, it felt like and still feels like a big issue. I've never had any real dreams or aspirations. I don't have anyone I want to be. I just never wanted to be alone. I don't want to feel like I'm useless in this world.

My parents, I suppose have never treated me too badly. It just feels like they don't care about me as an individual but as their child. They aren't particularly attached to me; they're attached to their obligation.

At the beginning of my senior year of high school, I attempted suicide. It's kind of embarassing to say because of what a joke it's become now, but I slit my wrists. My father caught me, and tried to get some medical assistance.

It probably wasn't a coincidence that I put myself in a situation where I could be easily caught. It probably was that I just wanted to know if I would be saved. I thought that maybe if I had, then I'd feel really loved.

But even seeing my mother shed a few tears, I still couldn't believe it. I still felt the same, only now I was a bit more closely watched. I didn't know what to do with myself.

I was let out of school and began homeschooling in a lax manner. My parents didn't want me to get burdened and try anything rash again. They even offered for us to move. Still, I don't know.

I'm still the same person years ago. I still lie in bed and think that tomorrow, I'm going to wake up a different person with a different life. I always hope for that morning when something will happen and my life will follow an upward trend. I think a lot of people have felt like that at one point in their life. I can't be just that special. So, what do you propose I do?

2 Name: Anonymous : 2008-10-17 06:46 ID:cD2M6l0t

First off I have to say what a nice title you have for your thread...
I know you've probably heard this a lot but have you ever considered getting professional help? Sometimes when you're in a emotional runt you can't get out of it yourself.
There were times when I thought my parents didn't love me and they only did stuff because of social obligations/expectations. Now that I go to college far away from home and I only get to see them a couple of times a year I realized I much I love them and how much they love me too.
Maybe it would be easier if you had some close friends at school. Joining a club or something like a volunteer group might help. I know its not easy at all but neither is living like this, right?
I don't know. Take my words with a grain of salt.

3 Name: Anonymous : 2008-10-17 09:36 ID:YOc0rwH3

irc.synirc.net 6667 join #4-ch

4 Name: Anonymous : 2008-10-17 10:53 ID:/FCdrALj

try emailing to this samaritans.org

it's giving emotional support very nicely.

works really great for me.

5 Name: Anonymous : 2008-10-17 15:13 ID:OkP0Klx/

Professional help is not a bad idea,... But really, you need to concentrate on three things:

  • stop blaming your parents. I don't mean that they are not part of the reasons you are in your current situation, but that's the past. Now it's up to you to get yourself out of your hole. There's nothing more self-destructive than to blame others for our own failings (your lack of social skills is your failing, which only you can address).
  • go back to school, university, whatever. Social isolation will not help, just worsen your problems. You must learn to deal with other people, and the best way to do it is by being confronted to them.
  • participate in social activities: review your centers of interest and think about how to convert them into social activities. If you like movies join a cinema club, if it's books then meet people who like books. Sports is another option, as is drawing, science, games, music, whatever. It's a lot more easy to relate to people when there are common interests.

Good luck, and have fun!

6 Name: Anonymous : 2008-10-17 20:38 ID:PW+Kd5Hj

If you want to become a new person, then just become a new person. It's hard but possible. Everything can be changed, save for your skin color. But you have to actively work to achieve it.

7 Name: Anonymous : 2008-10-20 23:18 ID:bi3lDHr8

Hows OP doing ?

8 Name: Anonymous : 2008-10-21 02:10 ID:Heaven

he commited suicide

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