First of all c0mplex I would like to congratulate you for taking this step. Seeking help is being in the right track for a happy ending :)

Secondly, I think the source of your issues is an amalgamation of what yourself and all the other anons have said. Therefore, the treatment/solution/thing you follow may take time, and like >>10 said, it is important you follow it through and with patience. There's nothing more complicated than trying to untangle a mess in one's head, so, if you start rushing, it may become worse.

Third, everything will go fine with the therapist, and even though im writing this just one day before, I'm confident that you'll have the courage to overcome anything in the future.

An old China saying says: "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the mastery over it"

So, be brave c0mplex, and rest assured that you'll have at least one person thinking on you and your success.