I know it's the whole Asian stereotype to be super smart and get all A's in the honors / AP courses, but I just don't fit that stereotype.

My older sister just graduated this year and went to Johns Hopkins University. Early Decision. Majoring in BioMed Engineering. >_< You can guess what the expectations for me are.

Problem is, I'm just not as motivated nor as confident as her. I can't just force myself to do something like talk to my teachers or my counselors. After several bad teachers, I've developed a phobia of talking to teachers and other authorities. And no matter how much I try, I just can't get to that A level in some of my classes and I end up with B's instead.

My parents are stressed right now with my dad being close to losing my job, so seeing B's on my report card doesn't make them any happier. I don't even want to know what I got on the AP tests I took this year >_<.

My dream has been to go to an out-of-state college / university of a decent level, and I'm losing hope that I'll even go to a university.

I'm also pretty much screwed religiously, because I feel that God enjoys stomping out every one of the dreams I have. I'm extremely tempted to say I became an agnostic this week.

I know this is just plain ranting about trivial stuff, but I really need some emotional support right now, whether it be from friends or strangers. If you would leave a kind word of advice or something, that'd be wonderful.

Just be who you want to be.
Don't let a stereotype confine you or influence you.
Hell, I went to a super smart-kid filled prep school, and yeah, I never made the best grades or looked the best, but I did alright in my own eyes.
Be yourself.

I know exactly how you feel op. I let my parents try to dictate my life for almost all my life. Sure I got good grades and took ap classes. But I never really did what I wanted. Throughout my life I had a small dream of becoming something worthwhile, fun and happy for the rest of my life. Doing good in school is always a plus but ultimately what we want to satisfy is not our parents but ourselves. I am the oldest child in my family, so as the asia stereotype goes, I have to be the best to be an example for other asian parents to compare their children with me.

Its something I thought was unavoidable for years, until I realize that I wanted to follow my own dream and make my own path no matter the risk. You have one and only one life man. So do whatever you want with it. Human beings are selfish beings. It's alright.

My dream was to become a digital animator, I wanted to draw, I wanted to go to an art school. And this is what I am following. Even though my parents are stressing out about my crazy plan to becoming a artist who goes to private art schools and taking out a shit load of loans to pay for gamble in getting what I think is one of the best jobs in the world.

My parents don't like the idea at all. They don't have the security they had when they pushed me to become a doctor. By taking the route I have taken requires me to become even more stressed out and argue with my parents a lot. But I don't look at the present or my past. All I have left to look at is my future. My future, not the future my parents had in mind. But its something that always gives me a boost when I feel miserable at home.

So I just wanted to say that you should find your own passion in something whether it be art, music or a scientist. Just find something to put a mark on so you know where your heading in life and be able to check on the progress.
Grades are just letters associated what others think of you. Just ignore them and make sure that you understand the material to your fullest extent. As long as you tried your best, there's nothing more to it than that.

I mostly agree with previous posters. It's very hard to be good when you are not interested in what you are trying to do. Worse, it's depressing to devote effort and time of your life to prepare a future you don't like.

So you should really step back and try to gain some perspective. What would you like to do? That's the most important question, and it can be a terrifying question. But you need to face it, and the time to do it is now. So what are your interests? What makes you enthusiastic? Spill the beans here, and this thread might go beyond shallow cheerleading.

Remember, you can take a lot of shit, when you feel motivated. If motivation is lacking, everything becomes difficult, because the voice at the back of your head keeps screaming "wrong turn!".

>>1
i'm asian too i dont think it sucks i love being asian. i also had the same problem (my cuz was like perfect till he got charged for having marijuana but it was good ;)you should talk to your parents about how much of a tough time your having and ask them for a break (if you dont talk to them youll get seperated and end up like me (a lonely but somehow happy drug addict) you should also stop looking down on yourself calm down and slow down and slow down and look for good things that will happen or keep you occupied. so just calm the fuck down like a lot because your still young but your like freaking out that you forgot to pay that hash you smoked yeserday and the dealer put out a target on you