>>1
Of course your life isn't over. I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself and can't enjoy small things; you'll have to learn to do that. Learn to relativize. Accept your fear, but don't bow to her.

If you want to make friends, just crash test. People won't care, really, if you fumble and mumble and whatever. At worst, you won't see them ever again and they'll have a story to tell at dinner that they'll have forgotten the next day. I know it's not easy - I damn well know.

But if you manage to push yourself through this a few times, you'll make a little progress. And this progress will give you confidence. And this confidence will help you go further.

Be brave! And again - stop worrying too much.