so lately i've become sort of jaded towards my generation. It seems that every time i talk to someone its like talking to a lobotomy patient. Everyone always gets this confused look on their faces whenever i pull even simple words like "doldrum" out of my hat in a conversation, like i did something wrong. I've never been under the impression that being able to converse with others in a manner that isn't comparable to caveman grunts is inherently wrong. I mean come on i once met a chick who didn't know the meaning of the word "fixate" come on! Also while i'm at it, i've also noticed that peoples ability to describe objects and situations seems to be severely lacking of any substance. Most of the time when someone is trying to describe something, i get really uneasy because they pepper the word "like" about a billion times throughout a single sentence. Example "yeah so i was like at the movies the other day and like i went to see that new movie with tom cruise in it. You know the one that's like a huge deal now. I swear there was like fifty of us in a single group going to see it."
Then again this might just be an isolated incident in the states, our education system needs a serious overhaul but i would really like to see if anyone else is having this problem as well
I don't think it's an education thing so much as it is a cultural thing. After some self-reflection I realized that the reason I don't use much "advanced" vocabulary and I don't like talking to people who do is because I preceptive them as being snobby, old-fashioned, unaware, too complex, and classist. Are they? Maybe, maybe not, but that's the connotation havening a large vocabulary has now days in American society. We're in the age of simplification. Learning new vocab and applying it to everyday conversation is just not something we do.
It's kind of sad, but I'm not too worried about it. People are still able to communicate, I don't think it's ruining the English(American English) language, and 50 years from now it'll probably change.
As for you OP, you can either continue to use yer fancy adjamatives and big words and perfume fer yer armpits and just be fine with that- Hell, you may even start a trend, or at the very least educate your peers- or realize your committing a faux pas and tone it down.
WHAT.IF.I.CAN.NOT.STOP??
I mean, I read Proust like it's something written for 6yo kids lol
Seriously, OP, the vocabulary of an individual isn't necessarily descriptive of their intellect or capability of critical thought in this era. As a young boy, no one could understand me and my torrent of useless words. Nowadays, I get along as good as any other 4cher by only throwing an uncommon word into a sentence where it is necessary. It's something that took me years to learn during childhood, the time of fastest learning. Though I may befriend you based on how you pick apart something accurately using a complex lexicon, your lexicon is not what I'm interested in. For the best of people, it's the same way, but for the average man there's no payoff for being concerned with new terms. Though you may get all high and mighty about it, the people with small vocabulary aren't always proletariat filth.
I jest, I'm not bourgeois enough to worry about people's markings of class, just how well they can handle their thoughts. If you want to show intellect, pull a word out of your hat once in a while, but you must learn how to speak the common language. That's what this is, a situation of speaking the wrong language. You can't be an academic around people with concerns more temporal than your words. Ignore any sarcasm there.
tl;dr: People don't need large words, so you must learn to speak the common language.
If you don't understand why utilizing an expansive vocabulary hinders communication, you're not as bright as you think you are.
It sounds like you're slightly egoistical OP and expect people to be on your level of intelligence. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. It all comes down to the fact that everyday conversation doesn't consist of large words. It sounds like you're not socially developed on a casual level and expect people to talk like it's a university lecture, rather than sitting on a sofa watching TV.
I will agree with you that the majority of people these days lack a vocabulary that goes beyond 3 syllable words. But that does not mean they're at all stupid (just some). And to be honest, even the most intelligent people don't actively try to use larger words when you can easily use something shorter and get your point across.
It's part of the art of conversation. You can easily express yourself coherently and intelligently without trying to make others feel dumb by using words which you know (as show by this thread) they may not understand. When you're speaking to people they don't care how smart you are or how many words you know. In fact if you actually make an attempt to pull words out of a hat, most people are indeed going to give you a strange look and lose interest.
It sounds to me that you're a smart person, perhaps a little narcissistic, but you're expecting too much. Instead of stressing about other people, take the time to improve your own social abilities. You're going to drive away friends if you start classing them into levels of intelligence based off how you have conversations with them.
Using your example, do you really think when you're talking about the new Tom Cruise movie you're going to make an attempt at sounding like the smartest thing ever? No, you're going to talk about the movie. Which probably isn't the smartest thing either.
Being verbose is just as bad as having limited vocabulary.
As >7 said:
> I will agree with you that the majority of people these days lack a vocabulary that goes beyond 3 syllable words. But that does not mean they're at all stupid (just some). And to be honest, even the most intelligent people don't actively try to use larger words when you can easily use something shorter and get your point across.
> It's part of the art of conversation.
Being able to effectively communicate with different types of people takes a lot more skill than just learning a few extra words in the dictionary.
Well, I love all the "big words" I know, and I don't intend to stop using them, but I have to say, once your vocabulary have significantly expanded, there's really not a way to just /stop/.
"Not using" those kinds of words is not so simple. It's like un-learning how to tie your shoes.
That being said, I tend to apologize and rephrase when I say something a little out there, but in my particular conversation groups, it's seen as quite a laugh to speak "gentlemanly".
My best friend doesn't understand half the things I say, but he always listens with interest when I explain them to him.
Honestly, using "small words" is like wading drudgingly, immersed in molasses.
>You're going to drive away friends if you start classing them into levels of intelligence based off how you have conversations with them.
WHile this is true, I suggests keeping a mental note of thier individual cunfusion rates and speak accordingly. It's easier than it sounds, for me at least. I just sort of adopt the way of speaking depending on who I'm with. It's a good strategy.
youre trying too hard.
you clearly dont associate with a social set thats appropriate for your mentality, so why would you go out of your way to alienate the few friends that you do have? pretending that you cant use simple language because your vocabulary is so vast is absurd. if you know how to be verbose but you cant cut it down, you dont have much talent for language and you should probably put down your SAT flash cards.
you probably just need to improve your social skills. your dilemma reminds me of some reject i once saw who posted on a -gaming- message board, quoting catcher in the rye and making references to obscure science fiction authors. if you go out of your way to try and make yourself seem more intelligent, people will just assume you have low self esteem.
its not your friends' fault that you lack communication skills. if you think youre frustrated trying to get your point across to your peers, wait until you have to start dealing with normal people in the real world.
Inusual thread. I'm a native spanish speaker, and I suffered a similar situation in my high school years. I am a rather introverted person, so I spent most of my childhood reading (I can read since I was 4yo, which is really something in a country of functional illiterate people). By the time I was 12 I had learn a vocabulary twice as bigger than one of an average adult. But I can't recall using superfluous vocabulary in my everyday conversations. But most of the time it was extremely frustrating having to communicate with people who didn't know their own language, or how to use it. I even corrected some of my school teachers out of boredom; "Teacher, the word you seem to be looking for is 'xxx'", or "Teacher, I think that word doesn't mean what you think it means, should we check it in the dictionary?". The whole class would lose respect for the teacher, and hell would get loose in the classroom soon. Fun times =D Luckily, things got better in the university.
Now, It is true that you cannot associate directly the vocabulary of people with their intelligence, but you can do associate it with their educational level.
Also, somebody said something about "less is more". A good vocabulary does that, actually. You can use the exact, precise word for the exact, precise meaning you want to express. If you don't have a vast vocabulary, you probably don't know the exact word for a given meaning, and trying express yourself by replacing it with other words might lead to confusion, and unnecesary verbosity.
Lastly, having a good vocabulary helps you to spot dimwits who try to sound smart by using randomly long and sofisticated words, usually out of context.
TLDR; Having a great vocabulary does not means you spit random superfluous words in your everyday interactions. But not having a good vocabulary is not a good thing, because you won't be able to express yourself clearly in given situations. Of course, it doesn't matter much if all you want in life is to become a crack dealer.
>>10
I think you actually like spilling out all those "big words" and confusing the heck out of everyone because it means you have the "upper hand" in the conversation, and you have control over it.
Not being able to find simpler synonyms from your supposed expanded vocabulary is stupid. I speak with international students all the time, so I'm always breaking down everything I say. Whilst it took a bit to get accustomed to a the beginning, it's really not as hard as you make it out to be.
By the way, people get annoyed if you apologise constantly, and have to rephrase what you say. Just a tip, for when next time you feel you're gonna slip in a whopper.
>>11
Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that what all the posters have been telling you to do?
It's worse than that really, people know less and less about how to actually SPELL a word. They are so reliant of spell-checkers, that most kids in Jr. High or High School have never even touched, much less know how to use a real dictionary. They just do a search on the internet for a Wikipedia definition, and assume it correct.