I have been a complete shut-in, or "hikikomori," for at least two year and a half years now, and the only interaction that I get is over the Internet and the only thing I do is search for timesinks (normally MMOs). Over the years (even before I cracked), I lost interested in pretty much everything and it has become worse overtime; with that, there's no place really out there that I can "reside."
All the Internet communities I lurked over the years that become intolerable and I can't stand the places anymore namely due to "immaturity" and "commoners" (tainting from "normal" people and overrunning places). I don't even feel as if I can go to another community, since I have no interests and the people there are just too out-of-touch.
I can't stand being in the places I'm in and I have no where else to go nor anything else to do.
Well, a life lived through the internet isn't much of a life. I think the things you need to work on are your social problems. I can say from having experienced a shut-in lifestyle for several years, that, when I came out of that life, I was considerably more happy.
It might take a while, but if you are going to invest in something, I think the most worthwhile thing to invest in would be making yourself more content and capable in social interaction.
I don't really have the will to invest in anything...
Then why are you posting? Just complaining? Or what?
Because, I have no where to belong on the Internet and what minute interaction I had is now gone.
How about you start your own 'community'? One that allows them to talk about whatever they want, without someone telling them how they should live their lives.
I know how you feel, OP. I'd like to have a group of people to hang out with (preferably in real life), but I've already accepted the fact that this is not going to happen. Many years as a hikki have left me without any real friends and it seems like I won't find any new friends either. I used to play MMORPGs too, but after playing those for years I realized that I was just chasing a different carrot over and over again. And the older I get the more empty online conversations seem to get. It's just people exaggerating stories they probably didn't even experience themselves, gossiping about others, retarded drama I don't give a shit about, excessive bragging and repeating memes that are not funny at all. And as soon as a girl joins 90% of the guys become infatuated white knights who attempt to impress this girl whenever possible, even though she is probably some fat troll who is not going to put out anyway.
Everyone is saying something, but hardly anyone is actually listening. Actual discussion of topics is not possible as almost everyone just sticks to their own opinion and has no interest in trying to understand anyone else. The internet might have given everyone a chance to let themselves be heard, but most people have nothing important to say. Whoever yells the hardest gets attention and becomes popular. But I digress...
I don't really have any interests that involve meeting and socializing with other people (like sports), I enjoy solitary things like reading and listening to music while lying on my bed. Most places where you can socialize you can't really go to alone (bars and such), unless you want to be 'that' guy. I could join some club and I know how to behave to be considered 'part of the group', but it all seems so fake to me that it's not worth the effort. I could drink too many beers to mask the fact that there is not much to talk about, laugh at jokes that aren't that funny, pretend to be interested... and maybe I'll meet someone who I like, but I just don't have the energy to put in all that effort. I just want to be myself, not put on some act just to get people to like me.
Most people seem stupid and ignorant to me as well. I know I shouldn't be misanthropic or arrogant if I want to find friends, but even if I try, I just can't really communicate with most people, because usually we share zero interests. We just exchange pleasantries to keep up appearances, but there is no connection whatsoever. On top of that, it seems that whenever there are more than 3 people present, any normal conversation becomes seemingly impossible, because there is always at least one person who feels the need to stand out (and get all attention) and dominate the conversation.
Very rarely I do meet nice people in real life I can relate to, but they all already have their own group of friends and they usually see me as a nice guy to talk to, but not as a potential addition to their social circle. And sometimes when people actually want to get closer to me, I still manage to screw it up because I just no longer expect it and I am no longer used to it.
I post at this board: http://anonib.com/hikikomori/ , but it's more a place to discuss problems than actually find friends. It seems that as soon as a forum is no longer anonymous it becomes just another popularity contest...
>>6
I've done that and I'm literally mocked and bullied there everyday.
>>7
I feel pretty much the same, but Internet communities are no different that real life. Also, it cringes me when people talking about being a "hikikomori" or such, they are usually greatly exaggerating their situation to make themselves seem more pathetic than they are (and thus more cool in their community).
>>8
Eh, it's just a word. Hikikomori/recluse/hermit, all rather interchangeable. I'd say it's hard to impress people on an anonymous forum though (not that that would stop some people from trying), people seem to be more truthful when their posts can't be traced back to them.
Also, I seem to get feelings of "unfulfillness" or that I'm not doing absolutely anything as I live in my bedroom. I always then think I don't and never had dreams or even wanted to really do anything and that I'm too apathetic to actually care.
I have lived me whole life like this as well op, since I got my own computer at the age of 6. :(
Probably turning out like the rest of you. Not much to do at college, should join some clubs... But I first need to learn to drive. Planning on getting a CJ career because the field itself is more interesting than others and might get me out of the house more.
AnonIB seems to be down, and sadly the particular board seems to be full of trolls or just assholes. I've been thinking of starting a more hidden hiki BBS for us, but I'm not too good at coding or mysql. Not sure if anybody would want to help, but I do have some server space and a domain I can register to put something together.
>>14
I could set up a board for you Anonymous. Have any way we could get in contact?
I can't talk until Monday but I can exchange e-mail: p0mp0m @ ymail.com
If you're on IRC, let me know. I don't have any IM clients but can easily get one if thats easiest.
I've seen a fair number of people come up with the idea of making a hikki board. Most fail in an early stage, because it seems that hikkis generally don't have the energy to see things through until it (in this case, creating and maintaining a website) is finished. Even if it is successful, I'd be surprised if a much better community develops than those in the past. Such a board will attract the same people as on other boards anyway. There are two problems:
Such was the old AnonIB board, and that's what made it interesting. So many different personality types coalescing into one place, sharing their thoughts. I recall a lot of trolling in the beginning but the place isn't all that bad. The old old board was great too.
Use this to get in contact anonymously:
http://whspr.me/
Super useful.
AnonIB is back up. Looks like they had to revert to an old backup, but many of the posts are still up there.