I cannot bring myself to trust anyone after all that's happened, with how my family treated me. My closest friends are close to me because my failure gives them a sense of superiority, otherwise, there is nothing to gain from being friends with me. It makes no sense to befriend me for anything other than that purpose. If I share my life, it means I open myself up to people to let them abuse me all they want. I'm not going to let that happen again.