Wall of text incoming, be warned.
25 and living with my dad at present. I don't have a job nor have any useful skills beyond A levels and foreign languages (English, German, Japanese).
Umm, where do I start? My family (parents, three siblings and I) used to live in both halves of a semi-detached house, after we'd knocked down the dividing walls in the middle. It was a pretty standard pattern with dad being the breadwinner and mum a full-time housewife. Then as we got older and less of a bother to supervise, mum decided to go to college and get edumacated. Once she'd finished that, she started work as a social worker for the elderly. My older sister moved out around this time.
Two years later, my parents decided they had barely anything they could talk about anymore, and decided to separate. This was accomplished by rebuilding the dividing walls. Now my younger siblings live with mum on one side, while the other is occupied by my dad, my fiancee and me.
This has been going on for over half a year. This evening, my mother came over and basically told my dad she was now in a new relationship and wanted to get a divorce.
while I'm not exactly floored by this turn of events, I didn't really expect my mother to start a new relationship. I'm also pretty confused regarding how I should feel about this. Wonder how my younger siblings are taking it, too. In general, I feel vaguely sad in a numb sort of way. Anyone else have a similar experience?
I know it can be hard to deal with a change, to see your parents as new people... but you've still got them, and (if they're worth their salt as parents) they still love you. So cheer up!
My parents separated when I was 12, and, after an increasingly ugly relationship, divorced when I was 15. Only now am I learning about a lot of the domestic abuse that went on.
Along with high school, puberty, and behaviorql meds, the divorce made my life a confused and horrible Hell.
Last November, I had to call the cops on my dad for assaulting my mother. Next to an incident involving my mother hitting my older sister, it was the most powerless moment of my life. Christmas was fucking awkward. New Years ended in my dad going into a rage, along with forcing me to drive on the interstate before I had even received a permit (I am 16).
He went to rehab, and life's been semi-consistent.
My point is... Be glad that this happens when you donq' still see your parents as infallible. Support your siblings, and talk to them. My sister's regular visits from college helped me pull through.
Seek to be a mediator. It's hard, and it's horrible being in the middle, but taking on a burden for others is necessary in certain times.
As for the numb shock... I was the same way. After the November incident, I had to continue with my life, going to school just twelve hours later, as if kothinf had happened. I began failing several subjects, waiting for some emotional breakthrough. I became even angrier.
No such breakthrough occurred until some time later. Divorces aren't TV dramas, so you just have to keep living life.
The dull shocks hurt longer than the brief intense moments.
God bless you. Divorces are hell.
Divorce really sucks. Not to make light of your situation but I think it's easier to take later on when you've matured and are standing on your own two legs. My parents divorced in my teens and I used that as a wake-up call to become much more independent and self-sufficient. Don't think I would have had the motivation to make it into the uni and profession that I did had I still been that only child spoiled brat I was before the divorce. Therefore, don't treat this situation as a total hopeless loss. Treat it as a challenge from which you can find more strength within yourself.