can't leave this thread, I'm sorry.

I don't have any friends in real life to tell this to or hug to get it out. I just want a big hug. just something. I work from home so I've just spent the time alone in my room being sad.its been a week now.

went for a long walk today to try and clear my head but the only thing I can think about is them both doing things to each other.

it's making me sad. i can't believe i believed the whole 'just friends' thing. i can't believe it. im a fucking idiot to believe that. talk all night, share intimate things, just friends. i want to have sex with you, just friends. come to my house, just friends. go past your boyfriends house to get here, don't make any plans to visit him, book the ticket while he's away, just friends

spent a lot of today reading stories about emotional affairs.

im listening to this album we both listened to in its entirety when we got together. i used to like this album, now it reminds me of this.

i feel so desparate and lonely posting here. i'm in that stage where i think i'll never love anyone again. i feel like shes already moved on. she never texted me back when i replied to her message.

fuck.