Ok, so the job issue what just a screen covering your real issue, the pressure of meeting family expectations (and probably some other hitherto unspecified material). You can't really expect non-telepathic people to understand your problems, if you don't care to formulate them in a less cryptic manner than a "fuck the world" ejaculation.

Before I even try discussing your troubles (how do you know nobody here can help you?), I have a couple of questions for you: What's a "better person", in your opinion? Is that concept somewhat related to the expectations your family has upon you? In which manner are you failing to meet your own expectations?

Also, what are you running away from, with your "into the wild" fantasies? your family? something else? (for instance, is your low opinion of women due to past experiences, or to lack of them?)