Please check out my short film I made for a film festival! Tell me what you think!
Midterm Break
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XEyu2Cw2PPk
The opening credits were a little too long for such a short film.
During the dance sequence, there was an extreme overuse of slow motion, worse than in 300. Also, poor lighting, but that can't really be helped. I felt the dance sequence could have been much more effective without all the slowmo, because instead of a fast paced, breakdancing feel, it just felt slow. The ending was amusing, though predictable.
I know I am a harsh critic, but considering that you are only an amateur, you did an excellent job. I couldn't do any better with only a camera and a few friends who knew a little breakdancing, which I presume is what you had to work with.
Not bad at all. I would have used camera tricks or doubles to improve the contest, if I personally knew anything about cinematography.
I'm not easily impressed, but it did manage to keep my attention when I close most streaming videos after ten or twenty seconds of play.