Post spoilers!
SPIKE FUCKING DIES
Everyone graduates and goes on to fulfill happy and enriching lives.
They get snakes on a plane
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ROCKETS ARE FUCKING EVERYWHERE
Harry Potter and Snape have wonderful gay sex!
Aw, c'mon. Spoiling published novels is one thing, but if you're going to spoil fanfiction, good sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave right fucking now.
SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE
ED DIES
OPTIMUS PRIME DIES
YODA DIES
THE APES PLANET IS REALLY EARTH
THE NEVERENDING STORY ENDS
VADER DIES
THE PAPER SISTERS ARE REALLY A SCIENCE EXPERIMENT
ONIZUKA GOES TO AMERICA
BILL DIES
EXCEL IS SHOT
THOSE WHO HUNT ELVES CONTINUTE TO DO SO
OPTIMUS PRIME RISES FROM THE DEAD AND SAVES THE WORLD
OPTIMUS PRIME IS ROBOJESUS
RICK PICKS LISA
ROY DIES
SHINJI WINS, OR DOES NOT, OR SOMETHING
A BLACKHAWK GOES DOWN, 2X
GODZILLA WINS
OBI-WAN DIES
MOTHERA DIES
THE CHICK IS REALLY A DUDE
ALIENS HAET WATUR
VILLAGE IS NOT IN THE PAST
MUSASHI WINS
EMPEROR DIES
7 SAMURAI SAVE VILLAGE
BILL AND TED PASS CLASS PRESENTATION, DIES
A BATTLESHIP IS SUNK
SUPERMAN FLIES BACKWARDS TO CHANGE THE FUTURE
DELORIAN DESTROYED BY TRAIN
JAWS DIES
KING KONG DIES UNTIL SEQUEL
AGENT SMITH IS V
THEY FIND SARAH CONNOR
THEY LIVE
DONNIE DIES
UNICRON CAN TURN INTO GIANT ROBOT
LOGAN 5 LIVES TO OLD AGE
THEY MAKE IT TO THE WEST
Everyone dies but a few people.
And they live happily ever after.
It was so boring I didn't finish it.
rosebud
THE WOLF DIES!!
The bad guys weren't so bad after all, it was a hilarious misunderstanding.
WHAT THEY THOUGHT TO BE INDIA IS ACTUALLY A WHOLE NEW CONTINENT.
SNAPE KILLS DUMBLEDORE
Modred eats Flagg, who dies crying like a little bitch.
Because he's referencing a movie, not a book, and also making a reference every single person on the planet has already heard a million times?
The planet itself was ALIVE!
Anna Karenina dies.
The Happy Prince gets smelted.
Erik dies, alone
Hendrik Höfgen sucks at playing Hamlet.
It was just a dream!
Merlin claims the throne of Chaos.
Ender wasn't just playing a game.
Macbeth gets PWNT
The rose dies, the Prince gets a sheep.
The butler did it.
Mother Courage's kids die.
SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE
oh wait
The mother pulls the child out of the chalk circle, proving that she's unfit.
Jackie and Fez hook up.
Gilgamesh and Ptolemy have wild hot sex and get married.
Oh, and Enkidu dies. :(
> Gilgamesh and Ptolemy have wild hot sex
Is this an extreme form of paedophilia or necrophilia?
The Phantom of Truth's pallid mask... is NOT A MASK!!!
The scalloped tatters of the King in Yellow must hide Yhtill forever.
(You will now go mad.)
>>55 Pedophilia. Nobody likes Necrophilia except the people who don't read.
>>57 Needs more Poe.
The second foundation is on Trantor!
Alia kills the Baron Harkonnen.
Then, the World!
Werner Saure is eaten by Yog-Sothoth, and Hagbard Celine is revealed as the fifth Illuminati Prime. Rub-a-dub-dub, All Hail Eris!
Jesus dies.
Paul Atredies is Muaddib
His son becomes a god.
and spice makes your eyes glow blue.
42
Six, times Nine.
Bara isn't a Rozen Maiden-
wait a minute
Mentor was really four Arisians!
Aerith Dies.
Or goes into the earth and watches over everybody.
Romeo Dies.
The shrike is really god.
Dumbledore comes back from the dead and takes revenge on Harry Potter.
In related news, Harry Potter dies to save Hermione.
Jesus doesn't come back.
Israel is destroyed...by China.
The NHK uses Moe Anime to conquere the world.
Allan betrays the communists and Viljami dies. Points to anyone who knows the name of the now spoiled book.
Earth is radioactive, there's a robot on the moon!
Salo's message was "Greetings!".
The tattoos are the Raven King's book.
Twilight Zone spoilers:
Henry Beamis breaks his only pair of glasses!
The Invaders were from earth, the hag was the GIANT FUCKIN' Alien!
The surgeons were the hideous looking ones!
They were just frickin' toys in a barrel!
The earth was really moving AWAY from the sun!
The family escaping from eventual nuclear war is headed for Earth!
All four astronauts were slowly wiped from existence!
Some endings in this brilliant series are open for the viewers interpretation so I can't ruin them for you. Here's a few:
"The Howling Man","Little Girl Lost" and the famous "Nightmare from 20,000 feet".
Lazarus Long has carnal relations with his computer, his twin sisters, and then his mother.
The reason the cyborg guard dog lets Y.T. pet him instead of tearing her throat out the millisecond she came within reach is because he was once the puppy her parents gave her when she was eight.
BAAA IS SHEEP!
OH,NO!
Hari Seldon's wife was a robot.
Spider Jerusalem falls into the 1% not affected by i-pollen
He marries Tracy, the daughter of the head of the Union Corse, only to see her murdered on their wedding night by Blofeld.
The world ends
brian dies and bobby marries ludmila.
hercule poirot killed roger ackroyd
Borg ship explodes
the ronin commit suicide
Bible -- just about everyone dies. (actually, it's true in just about every religion I'm aware of)
Anakin is darth vader
the One Ring is destroyed.
Jesus had a wife and a baby.
Tidus is a dream
The coneheads aren't really from France.
The Blues Brothers save the orphanage, get arrested.
He married below his station, and his guardians cut him off.
Robert Olmstead didn't know it until the end, but he and his whole family were Deep One hybrids the whole time, and at the end he begins changing into a fishman and writing happily about living in the sea.
Mhoram was right after all! Thomas Covenant WAS the white gold. Go figure.
Katarina marries Levin; freak rain teaches Levin value of family; Anna hit by train, dies; everyone lives happily ever after (except the ones who are sad, and Anna, who is already dead).
Trinity dies, Neo Dies, Smith dies. Little girl and oracle look at rainbow. <applause>
She bravely enters the darkness, and pulls out her frostbitten husband from the <blue>house</blue>.
Kim Jong Il died in a train explosion back in 2002
Ayu is the spiritual manifestation of a girl in a 7 year coma.
Mai fights demons every night at school.
Makoto is a fox who turned human thus giving up her memories and eventually her life.
Shiori is suicidal and plans on killing herself with a boxcutter.
Sigh, I feel better now
Ronin eats a unko...
The Prince rolls up the sun
Zarathustra dies.
Kit dies, Olaf dies, and the orphans stay on the island to take care of the baby for a year and then vanish forever. Bitter apples contain horseradish.