Legend of DQN (401)

1 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4462 20:47 [no]

Once a upon a time there was a....

220 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4476 07:59 [no]

piss enema.

221 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4476 08:39 [no]

When Thock woke up he laying in a puddle of his own puke. His bones ached. He looked at the landscape of empty bottles. That's right last night was the festival celebrating the Eternal Chicken. "Maybe I should call in sick to work," Thock thought.

222 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4476 12:45 [no]

But the Viking God of Rock was still there, wielding his axe with deafening power. The sound was too powerful for Thock's eardrums, and he passed out again. He

223 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4476 15:20 [no]

woke up again, since it was a dream inside a dream. He looked around and noticed that

224 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4476 16:03 [no]

the Viking God of Rock was still there, wielding his axe with deafening power.

225 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4476 17:11 [no]

"Who am I" he though. That would be helpful for the readers too.

226 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4476 19:26 [no]

Thock thought hard:

  1. I come from the moon.
  2. I worship the Eternal Chicken and the Val Halen, Viking God of Rock
  3. I'm dreaming
  4. I use any excuse to drink, like worshiping the Eternal Chicken.
  5. I can taste the Rock flowing from Val Halens Mighty Axe
  6. What was the question...?

227 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4476 19:41 [no]

At this exact moment, Time paradoxed, and Snake came to the scene, walking in a cardboard box. He folded carefully his box, then approched the Viking God of Rock, Van Halen, and said:

228 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4476 19:51 [no]

"Lettuce, tomato, special sauce, all on a seseme seed bun."

229 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4476 19:54 [no]

Val Halen rasied his Might Axe and smote Snake leaving a smoldering pile of ash. With a thunderous voice Val Halen Spoke; "You forgot the pickles."

230 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4476 23:28 [no]

"...the pickles!" echoed Thock. "That's it! That's the meaning of

231 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4477 02:25 [no]

the Eternal Chicken", he said, finally understanding what was going on. The Eternal Chicken was actually the guardian of the Pickles, and he knew that to appease the Viking God of Rock, he had to pray the Eternal Chicken to give pickles to the Viking God of Rock.
To get his prayer heard,

232 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4477 07:32 [no]

he had to climb the highest mountian and peform the dance of the corn. For the ritual he needed to bring...

233 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4477 09:10 [no]

BFG9000 and

234 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4477 10:43 [no]

a salad fork

235 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4477 10:59 [no]

, both items which could be bought from the convenience store nearby. Unfortunately, he had no money with him, so

236 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4477 14:20 [no]

he attempted to loot Snake's corpse, but

237 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4477 15:23 [no]

he couldn't. It was too disgusting for him. So he decided to pull the required items out of his ass.

238 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4477 16:18 [no]

But instead of the required items, out came He-Man, a bodybuilder almost a trillion years old.

239 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4477 18:04 [no]

He tried robbing him instead, but

240 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4477 18:15 [no]

He-Man put an end to his virginity.

241 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4477 19:31 [no]

Feeling liberated, Thock turned against the chicken. With He-Man by his side, he

242 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4477 20:48 [no]

put an end to the chicken's virginity.

243 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4477 23:03 [no]

The thread was getting really disgusting and senseless when suddenly

244 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4478 00:13 [no]

the chicken put an end to He-Man's virginity.

245 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4478 03:40 [no]

While the Viking God of Rock sucked suggestively his Mighty Axe.

246 Name: Captain Obvious 1993-09-4478 08:08 [no]

This axe, of course, was almost as large as Albright's massive tool.

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