Once a upon a time there was a....
piss enema.
When Thock woke up he laying in a puddle of his own puke. His bones ached. He looked at the landscape of empty bottles. That's right last night was the festival celebrating the Eternal Chicken. "Maybe I should call in sick to work," Thock thought.
But the Viking God of Rock was still there, wielding his axe with deafening power. The sound was too powerful for Thock's eardrums, and he passed out again. He
woke up again, since it was a dream inside a dream. He looked around and noticed that
the Viking God of Rock was still there, wielding his axe with deafening power.
"Who am I" he though. That would be helpful for the readers too.
Thock thought hard:
At this exact moment, Time paradoxed, and Snake came to the scene, walking in a cardboard box. He folded carefully his box, then approched the Viking God of Rock, Van Halen, and said:
"Lettuce, tomato, special sauce, all on a seseme seed bun."
Val Halen rasied his Might Axe and smote Snake leaving a smoldering pile of ash. With a thunderous voice Val Halen Spoke; "You forgot the pickles."
"...the pickles!" echoed Thock. "That's it! That's the meaning of
the Eternal Chicken", he said, finally understanding what was going on. The Eternal Chicken was actually the guardian of the Pickles, and he knew that to appease the Viking God of Rock, he had to pray the Eternal Chicken to give pickles to the Viking God of Rock.
To get his prayer heard,
he had to climb the highest mountian and peform the dance of the corn. For the ritual he needed to bring...
BFG9000 and
a salad fork
, both items which could be bought from the convenience store nearby. Unfortunately, he had no money with him, so
he attempted to loot Snake's corpse, but
he couldn't. It was too disgusting for him. So he decided to pull the required items out of his ass.
But instead of the required items, out came He-Man, a bodybuilder almost a trillion years old.
He tried robbing him instead, but
He-Man put an end to his virginity.
Feeling liberated, Thock turned against the chicken. With He-Man by his side, he
put an end to the chicken's virginity.
The thread was getting really disgusting and senseless when suddenly
the chicken put an end to He-Man's virginity.
While the Viking God of Rock sucked suggestively his Mighty Axe.
This axe, of course, was almost as large as Albright's massive tool.
When Thock finally awoke his head was killing him. I had some kind of f'ed up dream but I can't remember what it was about. Thock was sure a bout two things: 1. He was truly awake, the massive hangover was proof of that and 2. He was better off NEVER trying to remember >>220-246
END OF CHAPTER II
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PART III
The 15 18-yo Wakaba-chan sat in her office, surrounded by closed Venetian blinds. Reports had been trickling in about something called
Princess Maker 2.
It had killed 3. Only one person had survived it's brutal attacks, and that person was
George Washington
's nympho mistress.
Wakaba-chan told her secretary, Nihilanthic, to bring in some coffee with DQN and PCP in it. After the first sip
she recoiled in horror. "What did you
" and she collapsed before she could finish her sentence. When she woke up
Freddy Mercury was standing in front of her
with the rumored Princess Maker 2. He
sang a song about friendship while showing the rumored Princess Maker 2, then told her: "Follow me. We
will we will rock you."
Wakaba-chan, unable to control her bodily functions,
crashed the car into a wall... again.
She actually didn't notice she was in a car until now. How could it be possible to wake up in a car? She tried hard to understand the situation. Freddy Mercury helped her to get out from the car, completely ignoring the crash, explaining how they would rock her. Wakaba-chan grabed his left hand, his right one still containing the rumored Princess Maker 2. They walked towards
the road, not realizing that they didn't cast a shadow anymore.
Suddenly, Freddie Mercury emerged and killed Freddy swiftly. He instantly took the role of Freddy and they continued walking.
Wakaba-chan, of course, didn't notice until it was too late.
But that wasn't what mattered. What DID matter was that the rumored Princess Maker 2 was now free, and was slowly
spreading gay porn to all the
remaining W.T. Snacks clones. "nan desu ka?" said Freddie, as he
removed his chastity belt. Then he began to
rock stuff.
The rocking created lots of bloody heads and purple limbs.
Suddenly, Freddie died of the sudden and lethal disease testalgia. Wakaba-chan, as mentioned above, didn't notice until it was too late. Wakaba-chan was left alone in a sea of
W.T. Snacks clones
led by Princess Maker 2. "Why?" asked
MY BIG JUCY COCK
Which was odd because we agreed to never bring up the Eternal Chicken again.
But I feel like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight. However, not everyone
feels like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight.
Those people tend to trust the Gorton's Fisherman.
It's thanks to these people that Wakaba was saved. They
called Kareha-nee, who
led them to a very fishy victory.
Unfortunately, the fish was tainted, and everyone
died badly, collapsing into a heap on the floor. Or so it seemed until
Freddie got back up, leaving the rest for dead.
But the rest weren't dead, they were just incapacitated by the
= END OF PART III =
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Anyways, the rest weren't dead, they were just incapacitated by the
excessive tentacle pr0n. Fortunately, one of them
shouted "Surprise! 300GET", to rub in the audience's face the fact that their fake death was only a stupid plot device.
= PART 4 =
It was a dark and stormy night, and W.T. Snacks
had begun crafting the now legendary Princess Maker 2, with the assistance of his clones. "Ah,
W.T. Snacks, we see you have begun crafting the now legendary Princess Maker 2, with the assistance of your clones." said one of the clones. So Snacks said
"Homey don't play dat." Then, the door burst open as
the clones said "The door burst open."
Suddenly, the roof caved in as a multitude of
muscle-bound female homosexuals
and started playing basketball! It was none other than...
Nevada's corpse
wearing chaps and a sports bra. But the really shocking part
was that the valkyries actually inherited Nevada's superior boxcutting abilities through gene therapy, forming a new army of thoroughbred boxcutters known as
Staplerfahrer Klaus Staffeln 42
aka
Popn'Fresh
which was the porn star name for
Captain Obvious. It was obvious that he was obvious.
Obviously.
Indubitably.
It was plain to see that Captian Obivious' box-cutting ability was far below that of Staplerfahrer Klaus Staffeln 42 and not even in the same league as the original Nevada.
But his l33t yewnucks bawkz0r hax0ring skillz were almost