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Official Documentation of THE CONSORTIUM
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This is the only official documentation of THE CONSORTIUM. Accept no
duplicates, especially if they were produced in a sweatshop in Albania. Or
even if they weren't you should avoid them, because this is the true, the only,
the one, CONSORTIUM documentation.
Table of Contents------
1. How to Play CONSORTIUM
A. What is this CONSORTIUM thing?
B. Oh, okay, how do i use it then?
C. Do I have to pay someone money to use THE CONSORTIUM?
D. Really?
E. Is it free?
F. What's a CONSORTIUM?
G. This statement is false.
2. Other Stuff
3. More Stuff
4. Look it up in the index you ass
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What is THE CONSORTIUM?
THE CONSORTIUM is an online gaming site. At the CONSORTIUM you can become
a CONSORTIUM member (we call them CONSORTIUMites), display messages of your
user account, register a user account, talk to other THE CONSORTIUM members,
and most importantly, play games with your life.
The main games currently available on THE Consortium include but are not
limited to:
-Jacks
-Poker
-Walking Into A Puddle Of Mud
-Games
-Card Games
-Dodgeball
-Soccer
-Football
-Pong
-Space Invaders
-Pool
-Synchronised Swimming
-Vomiting On The Floor Easily during Greek Lunch
-...And More!!!! Over 11,152 games in all!
THE CONSORTIUM is 100% free, that means, you can enjoin in CONSORTIUM
membership without paying a fee. You might wonder, how we can manage to keep
THE CONSORTIUM afloat without demanding our users pay a fee, like some other
similar web pages (ahem, Yahoo and Battle.net), but you will be surprised to
learn that we make money by posting pop-up advertisements on our pages. Please
support our sponsors, so that we at THE CONSORTIUM can continue to bring you
fun and games without demanding that you pay a fee to access the many games
available at THE CONSORTIUM.
------------------How to Register Your User Account---------------------------
Registering your user account at THE CONSORTIUM is fun and easy, and, best of
all, it's completely, 100%, totally FREE!! You will never have to pay a fee to
use THE CONSORTIUM (except for a few of the advanced features like playing
THE CONSORTIUM games on your mobile phone). All you have to do is go to the
URL http://www.theconsortium.cjb.net.uk/cgi-bin/signup.cgi and enter a few
simple pieces of information, like your full name, phone number, credit card
number (just so we can make sure you are over 13 so as to comply with the
Children's Online Privacy Protection Act (COPPA), where you live (street
address)), how often do you shower, etc. And remember, when you join THE
CONSORTIUM you are getting access to 101,752 online games for completely FREE,
at no cost to you!! Be sure to read and agree with the Terms of Serivce (TOS)
and the Privacy Policy (PP) first. Note: We give some information that you
enter to our advertisers, so that they can better target their marketing to
you, and so that we can keep THE CONSORTIUM FREE for everyone. Please keep
your front door unlocked at night.-----------------------------How to use THE CONSORTIUM-----------------------
Once you have established a user account on THE CONSORTIUM, you'll probably
want to go right out and begin playing some games. And that's okay! But, you
may be ostracised, ridiculed, and tormented by the other CONSORTIUM members.
Remember, the CONSORTIUM is also a community, so you may want to spend some
time making some friends on the CONSIRTIUM MESSAGE BOARDS first. To do that
you will have to login to you account (or just copy and paste this line: http://www.theconsortium.cjb.net.uk/cgi-bin/login.asp?i_ff_src=73F8301294B28C112AD&php_sess_id=A00000FFFFFFFFF&usr_mb_slf=EWM_NOPASS_SET&popup=yes)
and then click "Message board" on the top menu bar. We have many forums
available to our users, infact you can even make your own (covered later) but
you should check out the Idle chat forum first and get to know some people.
--------------------- Playing Games on THE CONSORTIUM ----------------------
Now, here's what THE CONSORTIUM is all about: Playing games! To play games, you
just login to your account (see the link above), and click "GAMES" on the menubar
at the top of the screen (you must have a JavaScript-enabled browser). Some of
the games may require that you have JavaScripts, Java, Macromedia flash, or
Microsoft's activeX installed, if you don't, don't worry, try searching the
internet for it. We recommend you use go.com, which you can find at http://www.go.com
since it seems to be the one that paid us the most money to recommend it. The
games are organised into category by "Cool Games," "Old Games," "Bad Games,"
and so on, if you think they aren't in the right categories, well you can edit
what category there all in!! We will get into that later.
------ Racking up GamePoints (tm) on THE CONSORTIUM---------------------------
When you play a game on THE CONSORTIUM, or when you click one of our ads, you
will get game points, that we call GamePoints (tm). You can use these to play
the restricted games, such as Pong, that because they're so good we have to
limit how can play them. Each game on the game screen lists how many
GamePoints (tm) are required, starting at 100. You may have noticed you couldn't
play some in the beginning, because you didn't have enough GamePoints (tm) yet!
You can accumulate GamePoints (tm) by playing games and scoring well enough at
them. In addition, clicking on our ads will give you some GamePoints (tm), the
exact amount changes so it can't be mentioned here. If you post on the message
boards you can probably find someone who likes you and will give you
GamePoints(tm), similarly, you can give your GamePoints (tm) to other people if
you think you have enough and would like to spread the wealth so to speak.When
you get 800,000 GamePoints (tm) you can beign to spend them on our Auctions
in addition to playing on games. Auctions are actually contests and one lucky
winner will get the prize being auctioned, for example we recently auctioned
off a bicycle. The chance that you will win depends on how many people enter
into the Auction. Specifics of Auctions will be discussed in the next section,
for now know that you can only have 775,000 GamePoints (tm) before your total
stays where it is, there is one exception. You also lose GamePoints (tm) if
you do not use them for five days. Typical games will give you 10 or so
GamePoints (tm) if you play well at them! Keep practising.-----------------How To Buy---------------------------------------------------
One of the great things about THE CONSORTIUM is that the advertisers who have
pop-up ads on THE CONSORTIUM support us and allow us to keep THE CONSORTIUM
as it is, 100% FREE for everyone to play. But we can't give away everything
free, that is why we have THE CONSORTIUM sale packages. These allow you to
purchase GamePoints (tm) in exchange for cash money (or you can use your
credit card), since you've already given us your credit card number and
expiry date. The grid above shows the different packages available.
+-------------+-----+-------------------------------------------+
|Small Package|10.00|Ideal if you are a cheapskate, this package|
+-------------|-----|gives you 8 GamePoints (tm).---------+-----+
|Medium Pckage|11.00|The medium-sized package gives you a |
+-------------|-----|supply of 8,000 GamePoints (tm). |
|___________________+-------------------------------------+
|Large Sized Package|For those who want to increase their |------------+
| 95.00 |status in THE CONSORTIUM, 800,000 GamePoints (tm).|
+-------------------+---------------------------------------------------
============================Auctions==========================================
You can use your GamePoints (tm) to win a chance in our Auctions, for detials
see above.
----------------The History Of The CONSORTIUM--------------------------------
In 1994, THE CONSORTIUM was founded by Thomas Connolly, Jr., who lives in
Port-of-Spain, Alaska. At that time it was the name of the hot dog stand he
began taking with him to family gatherings. By 1999, the Internet had struck
hard and people thought it would only gain popularity, so Thomas's family
told him to make a web site. He didn't want to, but he made a web site to
provide information on his hot dog cart, where it would next be available, and
so on. Eventually he added some games to it. Finally, he became a vegetarian,
removed the games, and then started a new web site, and THE CONSORTIUM was
born. We now offer games to everyone, 100% FREE, for registration directions
see the above sections.
---------------------Other Ways to get GamePoints (tm)------------------------
Thomas (see above) is no longer with us, having been run over tragically by a
hot dog cart in 1998, however we now have a full staff that continues to provide
the games and fun of THE CONSORTIUM to you at no cost, completely FREE. However,
sometimes, you are not having good luck at the games on THE CONSORTIUM, and you
need some extra GamePoints (tm). No problem! Just go to "Request Gamepoints (tm)"
on the menu, and fill out the form. Allow 2 to 3 business days for review, then
we'll think about granting you some extra GamePoints (tm) if the form is filled
out correctly. If that is not enough, some of the staff of THE CONSORTIUM will
add extra GamePoints(tm) to your account in return for sexual favours. Go to
"Contact Administrator" and send a naked picture of yourself. Women only please.------------------------------Copyright---------------------------------------
This document is (C) (C) (C) (C) (C) 1994, 1995, 1996, 1997, 1999, and 2003 by
THE CONSORTIUM, Ltd. Please direct all licencing inquiries to
licence@www.theconsortium.cjb.net.uk.
-----------------------THE END-------------------------------------------------
That is the end! Now go to http://www.theconsortium.cjb.net.uk/cgi-bin/site.php
and login and begin enjoying the fun of THE CONSORTIUM!
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