Here is my headshot. Is there something wrong with the way I look? http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=SMAYAR&key=HGX
I hear by the time you are 23 if you never have had a relationship/been on a date etc you will loose all romantic interest for the rest of your life. I really don't want to end up like that. I'm starting to get really lonely.
My interests are anime, videogames, and Japan. I hate sports. I work out 6 times a week now and am on a healthy diet.
You're right, you're quite a good-looking guy, and there's absolutely no reason, based on your appearance, why someone wouldn't be attracted to you.
So, there must be another reason besides looks. How do you relate to girls?
I either come on too strong or not at all. Take tonight for instance. I decided to head out alone to a local bar and play a few games of pool. I had water to drink and while playing some random girl asks me why i'm playing alone, which I later realized was code for "ask her to play with me". I'm really slow on grasping both body language and vocal cues.
I also have had a very addicting personality and went through many different types of addictions but mainly these games like Everyquest (mmorpgs) where for a majority of my youth throughout highschool and halfway through college I never left my room and played all day long. I am practicly missing a point in life where most people deal with this stuff.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not nervous or anything around girls. I just treat them most of the time as I would treat a customer (I work retail sales). And I treat them this way and then at the end of the day realize how much I would have liked to pursue them in a relationship. I know it sounds very odd.
Are you trying to be Densha Otoko? :P If so please stop.
Anyways the only way you're going to get closer with women is if you stop acting like a bag boy at a grocery store and start being a man. Go to the girls, say hello. Talk to them about what they like and what they dislike. Be yourself and show them what you're about. Looks wont help you if you don't have a personality.
Definatly not trying to be him. Good show, but there is noooo way i'm as messed up as him. I don't studder when I speak or anything an my room has absolutly nothing that would make you think I am into anime or games. And I don't freak out when I talk to girls.
I live in my parents house though. I need to be completely honest if I am to recieve relevent advice. I went to regular school until 6th grade. Then I went to a private school where my mom was the assistant principle and in 6th-8th grade, I was with the same 15 students in my grade. From the time I got there, I was made fun of by the one guy who everyone looked up to. His dad was a lawyer and he told me if I retaliated in any way he would have his dad sue my family and make us go bankrupt.
I went from that school to an all guys highschool. This was when my mmorpg (everquest type game) addiction started. As a result I barely scraped through highschool, barely left my room, and went to some small college. My addiction continued through that school for a year where I barely made it through again, then transferred to another college many states away. I joined a fraternity there and switched to drinking as an addiction, and then I quit the fraternity because I was failing out of school. 1 and a half years were wasted at that college.
Now I am living with my parents in yet another state. I started back my mmorpg addiction when I first got here. I went to a community college, took very easy classes, barely scraped by yet again, and then transferred to a 4 year state university. This is where I am at right now. Two months ago, after my parents found out I failed out of my classes yet again, they forced me to either throw out all my gaming stuff including my computer or move out of the house. I chose to stay keep going to school and have my gaming stuff thrown away. It's been two months now and I'm just existing. Plus without any addiction to fall back on, I am constantly stressed over the fact that I don't have any friends I go out with or any girls etc.
I've had about 10 different parttime jobs since I was 16 because my addiction kept getting me in trouble with my jobs. As of 2 months ago I have been working out. But it doesn't help at all I feel miserable. I have this burning desire all the time to find a woman to be with. I actually believe my heart itself hurts every day. I'm sorry if this post was long but it had to be said.
Seek friends, not girls at this point.
Friends are just as hard for me to find and I have no clue why.
Well friends I actually do stuff with. I have a few friends but they are friends whose girlfriends control their lives and every minute of their time.
souns like me.....:(
May I suggest joining a club? Meeting people with similar interests would help you. Gamer girls can be found!
>>My interests are anime, videogames, and Japan.
There you go. Too much nerd in you. Try to get some non-nerd hobbies and act more "macho" for the lack of a better word. Girls want MEN, not softies.
Go here for your addiction problem.
I am taking Japanese. 90% of the ppl in my class for the last two semester are gamers. I am also a member of the Japanese student association. And I know gamer girls are somewhere out there, but guys with my lvl of social interaction stand no chance even if I can find one.
First sorry to say but I looked over the website you linked. I am not religious at all and in no way will I ever do any 12 step program that incorporates god. I also called the number and the lady on the answering machine sounded like a mom who doesn't have the slightest clue about mmorpg addiction. I wish ppl would do their research before making websites like that. I read the complete site and other than some completely obvious activities to fill time with, it is no use at all.
Just an update on another bad day already. I went to class in the morning and decided to show the class these two videos I made a year ago in a film class of mine. This was after class was over and the teacher left the room. Everyone laughed at the video but I felt they were laughing at how stupid it was. Now I have work in 2 hours (I work at a sales store like Brookstone/Sharper Image).
Last night I missed my 20 minutes of running because I decided to go to a bar by myself and play pool by myself for 2 hours. I drank only water no alcohol. Some girl asked me why I was playing alone, to which I replied, "I am practicing". I should have asked her if she wanted to play but I was in a bad mood. I came home previously that night yelling about how horrible my life was and my parents only yelled back at me about how they have had enough and I should simply magically fix my situation. Then my parents were yelling most of the night, which sparked my journey to the bar.
Seconding joining a club. Something unrelated to games, anime or nerd culture in general. I joined the caving society at my university and ended up meeting a Japanese gamer-girl who knew far more about otaku stuff than I did. I stopped caving after three months, but the girl and I have been together for 18 months and counting \o/.
And even if you don't meet any girls you'll at least make some friends, and with friends you'll have an opportunity to go places and meet new people. And if you talk to enough vacuous trollops at parties, you'll eventually find someone you can get along with.
Also, listen to your parents. Don't whine about your life, fix it.
There's nothing wrong with being nerdy. Anyone who says otherwise is a communist. Or more likely a fratboy. And no one likes fratboys, because their only hobbies are Halo and drinking X-D
Being "macho" is a bit of a misnomer. What you want to do is sell yourself. When an attractive girl is around, make yourself stand out from the crowd.
How you do that is largely dependent on your personality and should stay within the limits of your personality. Don't pretend to be TOO much cooler than you actually are ;-)
Oh, and about your pool story, that sucks. Something similar happened to me at a Bookstore a while back and I couldn't stop kicking myself for it.
PS - Densha Otoko rocks.
Weeeelllll..... I'm not some big city lawyer, but I reckon that the original poster is some goddamn weeaboo wapanese Megatokyo fan. And that's jest fine in small doses on sundays. But if yer lookin' for a real live walking talking woman whose last name don't end in .jpg or .gif or even .bmp then you might want to consider some things. One of these days yer probably gonna grow out most of this stuff and realize that there is more to life. So try to cut down on the weird ass nerd crap. Plus this stuff ain't rocket science. Here is what you do. Relax...untighten that sphincter and talk to people. Don't try to force relationships or just "get dates". Just talk to people and stuff will happen. Live your life like normal, try new things, and dont' rush it. Most women(decent women) have Creep Radar. This Creep Radar is a biological protection against creeps, possibly like you, who only want to cause negative things to happen. This protects women from stalkers, abusers, date rapists, and jest plain weirdos. Most women don't give a hang how cool you are or think you are. If they like you they'll talk to you like normal and just go with it. That's the only thing.
If you try too hard you will fail. And it ain't a race.
PS I have never seen Densha Otoko, but a wikipedia check tells me that it isn't something to emulate
If you want a girlfriend, just get out and live. Go places, talk to people! Go to a place where you can meet women with common interests, just get involved.
you gota get out there and starting talking to people. going to an all boy school sucks, i went to one too, it definatly cuts down on your interaction with girls. but sooner or later ur gonna have to get out of ur house and live. forgat about trying to find a girlfirend first make some friens
Thanks for some of the advice.
>>14 What you said about the creep radar absolutly makes sense. But it doesn't apply to me. I'm not a walking advertisement for anime. I talk about all sorts of stuff.
>>12 I wish there was a caving society here (I live in the midwest in a major city). What the heck I live in St Louis. I basically already messed up my anonomous status in my first post with the headshot. I just googled caving club and found an explorers club. But judging by the pictures it doesn't look like anyone my age is in it. Or anyone under 50 for that matter. http://www.explorers.org/stl/photo_gallery.php
I am searching avidly for some resemblence of a club with people my age in it I would find interesting. I like tennis. And there isn't a tennis club at my university. If I wanted to create one I would need to wait until summer for the school to approve of it not mentioning how hard it would be to find ppl. Can anyone help me search for a club on the internet that is in the st louis area?
Btw, today at work there was a very hot 24 year old woman that came in and bought speakers from me. We need to go through collecting information for each customer. We ask in this order. Name, Address, City, State, Zip, and email address. We seemed to have an ok vibe going on while I was showing her the speakers . The strange thing is after she gave me her address she gave me her phone number. I can still remember exactly how she said it. "And my phone number is ***". Thing is, being out of it as usual, I didn't act on it other than type it in when she said her phone number. Should I even have acted on it? I can't even remember if she had just regular rings on her hands or a wedding ring.
While I was trying to sell her the speakers I mentioned something about how the cheaper ones might be better if she lived in an apartment. She said she lives in a house. So I'm guessing she is married. But brings me to the question that if she is married why the heck did she voluntarily give me her phone number without me even asking for it? I asked the guys at work and they said they have never had a customer just give them their phone number, since we never ask for it.
She also said that her mom had the bose (one she went with), and that she liked it. She wanted speakers she could blast so she could hear them in the shower. Danget though why do I remember all this? I guess it was because today was rather uneventful other than this.
So i'm left with a predicament. Should I call her back tomorrow at work? I was thinking of calling and making up some stupid bs like we forgot to give her the receipt (even though i gave it to her) and if she comes down we can reprint her one. Please help me out by tomorrow I need some advice. Thanks again everyone for the advice soo far.
By the way, Mardi Gras is in St Louis tomorrow. Today at work this guy I work with who has a girlfriend (they are basicaly married), asked again what I was doing this weekend. I hate when people ask me that because I have absolutly no way of not making myself look like a complete looser. And if asking me that is some code way of inviting me to come along with them how do I respond if I want to? Plus, wouldn't it be weird for me to go alone with them and the ppl they know?
Again, I apologize for the long post, but I had a lot to get off my mind.
Actually you are kind of creepy. If a girl likes you, she will tell you outright if she is serious. You seem like you might be a stalker or something. In your effort to sound cooler than you actually are you come across as someone who would be like super jealous and ultra possessive.
Maybe you really DON'T need a girlfriend until you grow up a little more.
I'm not a stalker. It's just that I have this situation of never having been on a date and being 22, getting desperate, and having a bad habit of overanalyzing things.
calling her back is a tough one.... but i think you should go for it, cause what have u got to lose? well maybe your job....
i keep thinking after i buy stuff and the girl behind the counter is hot and about my age that i should have just casually asked "hey, so do u have any plans for tonight? i want to get to know you etc etc..." but it always slips my mind, and its not like i would have the balls to do it anyway lol
second thought calling her back and then asking her on a date might come off as creepy, especially if she still has her receipt...
Read the forums for mmorpg addicton help. Don't know if it'll help you (I was never REALLY addicted to video games), but I hope it does.
Yeah I realized that it would come off as creepy calling her and didn't do it. I forgot about it. Anyways, I got $70 in spiffs today soo thats good :)
Too bad today is mardi gras and I'm not doing anything. I asked a few guys at work what their plans were. They said they were going to get drunk. I just don't know how to invite myself to things.
Stop caring.
I know it's hard, but once you genuinely stop caring, you'll find a girl.
I stopped caring last year and began dating a model a few months later.
Read some Nietzsche or something.
Oh, and don't tell them about the fact that you play games or like anime.
Although Star Wars is kind of accepted.
>>24
They're called "mannequins", and it's usually only considered dating when they can actually talk. Not that you care.
I'm desperate enough where I will date any girl I find attractive no matter her personality at all. Funny thing is my feelings flow like the wind. At night I am desperate for a girl and then a lot of times in the day I could care less. I guess I just need to learn how to talk to people conversationally in general. Anyways, goodnight.
>>26
nice zinger ( '-')b
Mysteryman, despite your best efforts you seriously come across as extremely creepy. At least on this thread. You sound almost predatory and possessive. What the hell is wrong with you?
Here is everything you need to do:
Once you fix these things, you will be good to go. God stop being a creep. And just try to be a normal guy. Stuff will happen when you do that.
>>29
Hi. You need to go to hell.
The same goes for everyone else who keeps using the word creepy or stalker. Dating and socialization are not inborn skills. There is no class in highschool which teachs you the proper way to socialize.
If you're a shy person, you're going to be awkward and creepy until you pick up on the more effective ways of doing things.
In general, don't give up if you are rejected once. Sometimes, people send faulty signals, especially when caught off-guard. However, if you are rejected several times by the same girl, take the hint.
And there's nothing creepy about enjoying anime or Japan. Anyone who says otherwise is a communist. It's true that some girls (more generally, people) aren't very open minded. I remember my younger brother's exgirlfriend once called my masculinity into question for using the word 'cute'. But the trick is, that is a fault of OTHERS, not your own. If a girl finds your weird for liking anime, she's probably not a keeper. There's a million girls in the world who love anime. Find one of those instead.
Also, there's lots of people who feel lonely. A girlfriend, though, isn't necessarily the answer. Sometimes this is the case, but it's difficult work keeping things working -- especially if you don't share a common interest. If you don't want to be lonely, look for good friends (male and female) to spend your time with.
And you come off as a person with anger management issues. You are the type of person that keeps the predjudice against anime and videogame fans active. And I don't give a shit how creepy my hobbies appear. Theoretically, your hobby of keeping birds as pets could creep me out. And while your waiting for me with a shotgun, I would be with your daughter calling the cops on you and laughing as you rotted in jail. Seriously, #29, you need help. I need a girlfriend in my life, and you need a shrink.
And by the way 29, I know why I am alone and desperate. I am self aware to see that my addiction to mmorpg's caused the isolation and lack of social development. When I was playing regular videogames before that I socialized and had friends.
And back to that woman. Its not store policy ask for a phone number. She could have given it to me because she was into me, she could because she was tired and had a long day of shopping. Anyways, I'm over it and don't really care about that anymore. Its old news.
And as for your comment 4, I respect woman and would never ever do date rape. That's the last i'll put into responding to your post because you sound like a troll anyway.
If anyone else has some helpful advice, let me know.
Today was good. Tood my addhoral so I was alert and all. Made some money at work. Doing some homework now. Rather uneventful.
Thanks for the constructive advice. I will look for friends. I am going to see if there is a club on campus that helps organize events. That seems like it might be fun.
This thread rules
Actually, >>29 is in the clear, Mysteryman because he is protecting his daughter. If you came to the guy's house and trying to do stuff to his daughter then calling the cops would probably work against you because that would be kidnapping by taking his daughter. Then you'd be in jail or something. I dunno.
But harsh as he sounded 29 had a point. You always bring up all this introverted stuff. Jeez man if you are that analytical then you would know that the only way to stop being introverted and shy is to just relax and do stuff.
I think 29 has some harshly stated points, but good ones. You should probably get some help too with your shyness and everything too, Mysteryman.
When in doubt, lower your standards.
Good luck :)
clubs are good, and also the whole stop caring thing seems more difficult than it really is. The heart of Buddhism is really to "stop caring" and just see life for what it is. Finding a girl will not bring you the answer, just as addictions in your past did not bring you the answer. And religion probably won't solve anything either.
BTW I am also an international business major furiously studying Japanese. If you want to do business you are going to have to be more assertive and cutthroat.
did any one suggest prostitution? or craigslist.com casual encounters section?
Oh, and if by 23 or 24 you still don't have a gf, don't worry about it. Do it at your own comfortable pace.