I'm 22 and look good. Why have I never had a date/girlfriend? (85)

1 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-02-24 05:40 ID:OH9JcS3J

Here is my headshot. Is there something wrong with the way I look? http://www.hotornot.com/r/?eid=SMAYAR&key=HGX

I hear by the time you are 23 if you never have had a relationship/been on a date etc you will loose all romantic interest for the rest of your life. I really don't want to end up like that. I'm starting to get really lonely.

My interests are anime, videogames, and Japan. I hate sports. I work out 6 times a week now and am on a healthy diet.

36 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-02-27 02:43 ID:OH9JcS3J

>>34

Lol @kidnapping his daughter. I was under the impression 29 was referring to if I was dating his daughter. Which is why I mentioned the cops.

Anyways, you would really have to meet me in person to see what i'm all about. If you have an image of some quiet shy nerdy guy that doesn't talk much or is just plain weird, I'm not him. And believe me we have 2 guys like that in our class. One is called "the creeper" and the other actually scares me.

If you live in St Louis come by the Sharper Image and buy something. I'll help you out and just don't mention at all you saw this forum. Then through me helping you out you would have a better grasp on my personality. But 29 leave your shotgun at home lol.

p.s. my standards are low.

37 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-02-27 02:48 ID:OH9JcS3J

>>35

The religious types might not like the idea of prostitution, but I would have no problem with it. I'm actually thinking of going to one of those Asian tanning salons again. Yeah I went once before. But I had 3 beers before I went in, got some older asian woman. She wasn't too bad looking just I couldn't get it up with her just giving me a handjob. I wanted more than that but I forgot to bring protection so we couldn't go there. My bro told me a lot of his friend while they won't admit it went the prostitution route. At least to get their feet wet so to speak.

I've looked at craigs list before. Seems cheaper to just do the Asian tanning salon. Plus I have a thing for Asian women already.

38 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-27 04:11 ID:Heaven

>>35
@ Carleton?
>>37
Asian tanning salons exist in the USA too? I'm intrigued. However, it does seem odd that you couldn't get it up... Even more odd, that someone so introverted went to such a place. Maybe it was because you were nervous about going there.

I'm in a similar situation to you, what with the MMORPG and such. I hope I don't end up like you, though. Maybe it sounds a bit harsh but I can't put it into words. The girl giving you phone # at work was most definitely not interested in you, I think. When dispensing all that personal information, sometimes people won't catch all what you ask them for and just give you all their personal info, I know that's what I do. Do not follow up on this, if I were a woman I'd be creeped out.

39 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-02-27 05:10 ID:OH9JcS3J

>>38

Naw doesn't sound harsh. I can picture how that could happen with giving phone number accidently.

Btw, let me give a little more info about my past. I used to be very religious and my strong moral values still creep somewhere in the back of my head. When I went to the tanning salon, I was very nervous, even with the beers.

Here's the degree as to how religious I was. I was Catholic (not anymore), and went to confession once a week. I never missed Church.

When the women and me were in the room, she asked me what I wanted. I said full service and she proceded to ask me some questions. I guess they do that to make sure you aren't a cop and get you comftorable etc. I lied and said something like my girlfriend wasn't pleasing me etc. That alone at the moment after I said it made me feel really bad.

And the whole time all that was running through my mind is how low I had sunk that I had to go to a place like this. The lady wasn't too hot either, and she must have been like 40. I guest simplest way to put it is I psyched myself out.

Btw, if I were to compare myself to some ppl on tv I would choose "George from Seinfield" and "Turtle from Enterauge".

40 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-02-27 21:24 ID:OH9JcS3J

Today I gave in and visited a local Asian Massage Parlor. Complete waste of $160. This was 2nd time I have been to one of these. First was a few years ago and nothing happened down there for me because I had a few drinks before.

This time I had no drinks, and the lady there (must have been 40 and mildly attractive and Korean), took off all her clothes and we tried to go all the way. Once again I couldn't maintain an erection. I chalk it up to nerves. I was feeling very uncomfertable driving to a bad side of town to do this.

Now by doing it myself with my own hand while she was doing her thing I was finally able to do it. And it was really embarrising considering I had 2 minutes before the hour was up. And the whole time I could tell she was getting frustrated. It can't be fun for a woman to stimulate a man's private part for 15 minutes with nothing going on down there. Has to make her feel like she is ugly or something.

Anyways, I may go again in a few months. But I would keep it at a happy ending without anything else. Wow I can't believe I typed all of this. I am still very embarrised about the whole incident.

And the night before I wasted about 40 on a webcam sight that charged 2 a minute. I'm really loosing it aren't I? I'm down to like $2 in my bank account now.

41 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-28 00:43 ID:Heaven

>>40
livejournal.com --->

42 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-02-28 01:00 ID:OH9JcS3J

Naw all the entries relate to my pathetic single existence, thus the reason for them being in this forum and not on livejournal.

43 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-28 02:36 ID:Heaven

I enjoy it being on a forum and not livejournal. I read the forum b/c it is relevant to my interests. livejournal is not relevant to my interests

44 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-02-28 06:12 ID:OH9JcS3J

Btw, I figured a good place to pick up women according to the advice of a friend is the bookstore. Sounds like it would work to me. Plus most of the time normal women hang at the bookstore and not slutty ones.

45 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-28 08:48 ID:/Eooy2p1

Sad to see the prostitution thing failed, but that at least proves that you are a decent guy. I would have nerves too and would probably have similar issues.

>>44 Are you well read? If not, get on it. Frequent reading makes you a better and smarter person. Try some Dostoyevski, and my personal favorite, Murakami Haruki, who kind of touches on the loneliness of being a 20 something in "Norweigan Wood."

I'm rooting for you, but you are definitely going to have to start slow. Give up on webcam crap.

46 Name: MrShy : 2006-02-28 14:02 ID:4LsqjQO2

Wow, I pretty much went the same route.

To answer your question of why you never had a date and stuff:
The #1 reason is simply because supply and demand.
There's on avarage 19 girls out there for every 20 guys in almost every corner of the globe.
So there's always a guy ending up short, which is why the girl that can't get any don't exist. There are always guys available for them.

If you're wondering what you can do about this, there are like 4 things you can do:

#1 Read up on seduction techniques on the internet and use them at wherever
#2 go to Ukraine and walk around. There are more women out there than men in that country. I expect women do the quite the same in a supply crisis. So simply walking around oughtta be enough for you to get a girlfriend there. And I'm guessing that this is a far cheaper and better solution than prostitution.
#3 Wait for, buy a or build a fembot/chobit/persacom whatever and date her or build so many of them that enough girls turn up lonely they'd turn to you, current technology is almost there.
#4 get a sex change and become interested in guys, assuming what you want is simply to be loved by someone, no?

Personally, I like #3 the most. Living in a chobit world would be like awesome ^^. But I doubt that in the next ten years you could build or buy a chobit that feels, walks, moves, breaths, plays, sleeps and shows emotions like a human being, let alone one that has the intelligence of a five year old.

#1 worked good enough to get the only girlfriend I ever had. But only for a short time. It still works though.

I haven't tried #2 because these days I'm always short on money.

#4 kind sucks imo. Would only have been fun if you could change your DNA entirely.

Anyways, there you have it, good luck.

47 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-02-28 22:30 ID:Heaven

>#3 Wait for, buy a or build a fembot/chobit/persacom

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

48 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-01 02:43 ID:Heaven

lol #4 blows

49 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-03-01 06:43 ID:OH9JcS3J

Quick question its been a day or so. Why do I still feeled soo completely affected by the experience at the massage parlor? I'm not sure if it has depressed me or anything, but I missed a day of classes because of it.

Could it be because even though I lost my virginity to a prostitute, or i'm a little confused. Does it even count as loosing your virginity if you have to stimulate yourself without touching her to get off?

50 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-01 08:33 ID:87JTiKRo

>>49

It's not losing your virginity until you stick it in the vagina.

51 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-03-01 18:05 ID:OH9JcS3J

Not a virgin anymore then. But I don't feel different at all.

52 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-01 20:40 ID:kkM6TGUA

What did you expect?

53 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-01 22:04 ID:xoaGwWnL

>>1
man, that must feel really shallow losing it to a prostitute. and well, of course you dont feel different, not like youre a girl. all theyre really doing is helping you masturbate, not like, uve just gotten a hole in your body enlarged, but, i suppose u got experience. classes eh? stil in college? how come uve never met anyone there? im sure theres probably dateable women

54 Name: Mireille guy : 2006-03-02 00:14 ID:TRtVfgv4

I just read yoru first post and the few last and you seem like a good guy. I know the problem you have, the solution is simple.
Also, there's nothing wrong with losing virginity. Even though I'm 21 and still virgin, I really couldn't care less when or who I lose it to. It doesn't matter. Before I thought sex is only for people who have a lasting relationship but I'm at a point when I realize that with the right mindset, you can control when you have sex or who you want to be with. I'm virgin because I thought it had a value, so i chose to keep it. That's what society makes you believe. Now I know that's not true.
However, you don't want to get used to prostitutes. Stay away from them. I'd feel like a loser if I couldn't get laid with a girl to the point I have to resort to prostitutes. You can get girls to be attracted to you and ask you for sex...

I do have experience dating, and I can say I'm reasonably good at it. I've dated a girl 10 years older.

What I recommend is that you learn the seduction techniques by ross jeffries. You'll be able to attract girls like magic. It's gonna give you the choice in which girls you go out with, rather than having to feel insecure for not being able to date/have sex.

I realized after reading that stuff, that I already did some of those techiniques without realizing it. Learning these things have helped me to attract a girl consciously without feeling scared/guilty.

55 Name: Mireille guy : 2006-03-02 00:26 ID:TRtVfgv4

Btw, MrShy is right on with #1 but he's obviously never really tried them.
There's no need to go to Ukraine to have a higher women to men ratio.
Seriously it wouldn't matter if you were among 100 guys in a party with 10 girls (a usual sausagefest like the ones at college) you would still have high chances of getting laid with the girl of your choice.

56 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-02 03:33 ID:Heaven

>>55
I dunno, unless you're in the top 10% as the most cutthroat, persuasive men, you might be doomed in that situation

57 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-02 10:22 ID:wfN1p37Z

>>I'm 22 and look good. Why have I never had a date/girlfriend?

probably that what you think and other saying you are good looking because they feel sorry for you...sorry dude, tough luck

better be SPARTACUS NEXT TIME

58 Name: Mysteryman : 2006-03-02 15:27 ID:OH9JcS3J

>>57

I'm obviously not spartacus lol. But I look good. With the right personality I should be able to grab most women.

59 Name: Mireille guy : 2006-03-03 02:32 ID:TRtVfgv4

>>56
As I said, try learning the techniques by ross jeffries. It involves subconscious training, behavior conditioning and hypnotic phrases. You might think you'd have to be superhuman to do these things, but it's just another learning curve. Anyone can do it.

My philosophy is: "Any guy can get any girl."

60 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-03 07:54 ID:Heaven

>>59 ok stop advertising that crap already

61 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-04 07:45 ID:QCQoPbzM

I'm actually in a similar situation to you, Mysteryman. I can't actually get a girlfriend if I try on my own; however, the difference is I have been in a few relationships, most of which were brought on by serendippity. Every girlfriend I've had have been brought on because I did stupid things like climb a tree and sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" (theatre majors at a Rennaisance Faire... go figure) and other sorts of craziness (yes, that is middle school through college). Why not try networking with friends and see if they can hook you up with someone? Or even network with friends to find someone you're interested in and then pursue them? That's worked for me twice.

As for the attraction secrets stuff, they really do work (no matter who's you decide to follow); however, I recommend against it since it's not who you are. Once you get close to the woman of your dreams, you'll probably forget all about the techniques and revert to your old self (possibly sending her into a state of shock questioning who you really are).

62 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-24 11:30 ID:K5r8HiY5

>>53
That applies to girl too, you know. The first time I had sex i didn't feel the slightest bit different. Nor any of the other times I was with that guy (boyfriend). Not that he wasn't good in bed, that he was. We even got off at the same time the first time I had sex, to my surprise, as I had kept hearing about how difficult such a feat is. The first time with my current boyfriend on the other hand.. Was awesome. He wasn't better technically, as he was a virgin, but because of all the emotions involved (and the way he was treating me) it felt very magical, and definitely felt as if "something" (good) had happened with me mentally.
By the way, for your information, there are many girls who either rupture their hymen before ever having sex due to physical activities, or they weren't born with it in the first case. There is no "magical freshness seal" :-p The hymen is just some loose skin that may or may not cover too much of the vaginal opening to let a larger objects (like chunks of uterus-wall during the period) out or in (e.g. a penis). There are plenty of women who have masturbated vaginally without rupturing any hymen. Stretch skin and it'll just become more loose, unless you stretch it too much. Then, it'll rupture.
I have a friend who never even masturbated before the first time she had sex, and she didn't have any hymens rupturing during sex (i've decided I do not want to know whether it was because of her not having one in the first place, or because she's been doing a lot of physical activities, as she even did rugby at one point - in spite of her looking distinctiviely feminine and girly).

>>59
I'd rather advertise some real self improvement stuff. Like that bloke Pavlina's website. Now that's actually some good personal development advice. It's amusing how one can randomly find links on this board that actually do help that much.

63 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-25 21:51 ID:zrXZJjMM

I really can't stand reading about this problem. It isn't a problem. You're just lazy.

You have one task. ONE task: talk to girls.

That's it.

Talk to girls.

Talk to every girl you find even remotely attractive.

You could probably do with some hair on your head, but you're a reasonably good looking guy.

So talk to girls. If you're half the nerd I'm thinking you must be for posting to Love & Romance at 4-ch, then you'll surely fall flat on your face with, I don't know, the first 100 girls or something.

But keep talking to them. You'll gain experience, you'll level up, and you'll get yourself a girlriend.

BE SOCIAL.

64 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-25 21:51 ID:zrXZJjMM

I really can't stand reading about this problem. It isn't a problem. You're just lazy.

You have one task. ONE task: talk to girls.

That's it.

Talk to girls.

Talk to every girl you find even remotely attractive.

You could probably do with some hair on your head, but you're a reasonably good looking guy.

So talk to girls. If you're half the nerd I'm thinking you must be for posting to Love & Romance at 4-ch, then you'll surely fall flat on your face with, I don't know, the first 100 girls or something.

But keep talking to them. You'll gain experience, you'll level up, and you'll get yourself a girlriend.

BE SOCIAL.

65 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-25 23:20 ID:Heaven

Or just find one girl who's really easy to talk to, grind conversation until it's trivial, and then move onto the next, right?

66 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-02 11:26 ID:UTa0VpRp

Don't waste your time with prostitutes, you'll just end up more depressed about your situation and you'll never really solve that which is really confounding you. Instead, join clubs, meet people, make friends and just have fun. If you meet enough people you WILL have an opportunity. Don't be so strictly concerned about getting a gf and just focus on making new friends and things will eventually swing your way.

67 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-02 12:11 ID:ztne50Ti

insecurity makes one concerned bout how others judge/see them.

68 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-03 04:36 ID:w4jEpWMp

>>65
lol, thanks for that

69 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-03 07:03 ID:5/cd3bIc

Insecurity blows. Sad to say, but not caring about the outcome is sometimes the only way to get the outcome that you want. Healthy confidence is knowing that even if you don't get what you want, nothing is changed. So get out there and try!

70 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-03 21:57 ID:ANpmUnBN

lol zomg, r u still here. just be a man, and talk to some girls, really, approach em, anything, if nothing happens, then, watever. and if u R as good looking as you say u are, then who knows, and girl might even feel lucky and think (omg, that guys talking to me), and start some convo, thats all

71 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-03 22:54 ID:jBAeOmdj

>>1

You look like a skin head and scary. Smile, look friendly, grow some hair on TOP of your head, and get rid of the stuble. Your eyes are super pretty and so are your lips, but the rest of your outter appearance is a bit scary.

72 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-04 00:44 ID:Yu+NyvYI

>>71

I told you all earlier that this asshole was a creep.

73 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-04 20:11 ID:Heaven

>>72

just because of his visual appearance?

74 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-04 21:43 ID:eVW8+KWy

>>73

No, because of the way he runs that cesspool of his he calls a mouth and also because of the creepy way he looks.

Mr. Sperminator here is a date rape waiting to happen.

Females, beware.

75 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-04 22:08 ID:jBAeOmdj

>>73

I skimmed over some of the earlier posts, and I couldn't help but feel that guy was kind of strange myself. If I had known his prior history, I think I would have been a little hesistant to continue a serious relationship with him.

76 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-04 22:16 ID:eVW8+KWy

This thread sucks and the OP is officially a date rapist looking creep.

Let's talk about Disco instead.

I like the Bee Gees. How about you?

77 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-06 00:37 ID:Heaven

>>74
Spoiler: That's not him

78 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-06 03:55 ID:IzzWg78D

>>77

Plot Twist: I saw the original picture when this creep first posted.

The picture that shows now is actually an improvement. The original picture reminded me of Ben Affleck in that movie Mallrats.

I mean....this guy is just begging for a restraining order or something.

79 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-06 04:00 ID:Heaven

You think it's an improvement?

80 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-06 05:31 ID:QEm6JW/J

yeah...at least in the new picture he looks like a crazy stalker as opposed to a covert date rapist.

meaning you can pick him out easier.

81 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-06 05:47 ID:DSxyELyi

Wow this is a emo thread.
From what I have read, I don't see a reason why you have not gotten a girl. You go to school, I am quite sure girls go there. In >>7 you said you have friends who have girlfriends. Have you ever thought about asking them if they know any single girls? Girls know girls and girls always know single girls. However...

>>27

>I'm desperate enough where I will date any girl I find attractive no matter her personality at all.

So basically, you don't want a girlfriend or a romantic relationship. You wanted a trophy or sex. Sex you can get from a street walker or at the asian parlor. And since the asian parlor affected you so much, it was sex you wanted in the end.

82 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-06 15:56 ID:L4kk1lrE

>>76
I like the Bee Gees myself. I also like Evelyn King; "Shame" is my favorite song of hers. I would have loved to live in the seventies so that I could have experienced the disco movement firsthand. That would have won so hard.

83 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-14 03:09 ID:Heaven

>>80
If you think that guy looks creepy you'd probably think I'm a serial murder, rapist, puppy stomper, granny basher and a terrorist. I'm none of those. I do think he's looks pretty ugly though

84 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-02-13 01:23 ID:PFDJ7Lhy

i can't see your photo...
but if you say you are good looking, and your interests are anime, videogames, and Japan, maybe you should look for girls with same hobbies... it's easier for you because you two could talk about the same topics.

but it would be a little bit hard if you want to get gils that doesn't even know any anime, don't play video games, or even doesn't even into the japanese things.

the basic of making yourself looked interesting in front of women is:

#1 fist impression! most of girls i know like a "misterious" person... that doesn't mean that you have to be misterious and be creepy all the time, but some ways that always work for me is every time i met a new person, (i don't know it's my natural habit) i became a shy and somewhat respectful person. but after like, a week together, i gradually changed to be a talkative and humorous person just like i always be. i think that makes girls want to know about you more.

#2 don't show that you can do anything... most of people think he should look best in front of the girls... that's wrong...
why? because it would be a big turn off if you said you could do something (of maybe even a little brag...) but in the end, the thing just don't do as it supposed to do... you know what i mean? it's better if you say: "i don't know.. but i'll try" than: "it's a piece of cake! let me do that!" because if things goes wrong, people would be okay since you said that you don't know if you can. and if it goes right, people would think you have a good effort to make it right~

#3 be brave and ask her to got out. for dinner maybe. or movies and dinner afterwards.

#4 some people said :"girls are talkers"
so, be a listener!
whatever she talks, she just want to talk about it... even if you don't know anything about what is she talking about, just listen to what she said... but just tell the truth if she finds out if you don't have any clue what is she talking about.
and don't forget ask her to teach you what it is...
that will make she feels that you want to know and interested in her hobiies too
i have failed once with someone i really like because i talk more than her~ hahahahaha but that's okay~ ^^

that's the basic thing....
there's some more of it... but maybe it's for maintaining your relationship. not for getting girls~ ^^

remember!
fist impression...
it includes the way you talk and your cleanliness.

85 Name: Secret Admirer : 2009-02-14 08:38 ID:kadkIFZc

Honestly look at it from a girls POV. What do you have to offer a girl? You're failing classes, you have no friends, no interesting hobbies and you are now seeing prostitutes.

And you are forgetting that relationships are about giving and loving. You are only thinking of what a girlfriend can do for you. But you aren't all wrong, it seems you want more thans sex since you can't perform well with hookers.

But without basic social skills (ie: hanging out with the guys from work), what makes you think you can have a girlfriend? That is a relationship stronger than friendship and you need to be confident in regular friendships first.

Then with friends, comes confidence and you'll have things to talk about.

So just start hanging out with friends. It will be awkward at first since you've been out of it so long, but you need to go through that period. Eventually you'll get better. Do it!

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