Quick..I need some help!! (44)

1 Name: Doku Otoko : 2006-03-11 19:53 ID:NWfRYoub

Um..I'm planning to meet this girl I've been talking to on aim for a while and I know that she looks amazing and has an amazing personality as well. We're going to meet each other and hang out at the mall today in about 3 hours!! I made a glass rose just for her since her birthday is coming up but I dont know how to present the rose! Should I go out and buy a small box for the rose or should I just hand her the rose? What should I say? Also, should I hand the rose at the end of the day or when I first see her? In addition, what is it like to go shopping with a girl? I've never done this kind of stuff before. I'm sooo hopeless...Please helP!! OTZ

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-11 20:00 ID:kvlrMH8N

shopping with a is basically you follow her around and give her advice on what looks good. compliment her look, also be alittle playful, like when you walk by victoria secret, ask her if she wants some advice with that stuff or something. for the rose, just tie a bow around it and say happy birthday when you give it to her.

3 Name: Doku Otoko : 2006-03-11 20:07 ID:NWfRYoub

Good idea!! I just found a bow in my house but now I gotta figure out how to make one...

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-11 20:16 ID:bgV/WQ87

I suggest putting the rose with a ribbon or bow on it in a box. Nothing too extravagant, make it simple. It'll be easier for her to carry and a less chance of breaking when she's shopping. Give it to her as soon as soon as you say hello. Say something like 'Happy birthday! I hope you like it!' I'm sure she'll love it. That's a thoughtful gift, girls like that. Obviously, don't tell her she looks fat in anything, and if she looks bad in something, suggest another style or colour. You'll do fine, be confident.

5 Name: Doku Otoko : 2006-03-11 20:21 ID:NWfRYoub

A small box...Guess I gotta stop by a grocery store or something before meeting her. Just made a bow..though it's ugly but i really do hope it's the thought that counts.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-11 20:27 ID:bgV/WQ87

>>5
Maybe just tie the bow like you would tie your shoes? Oh, how big is the rose?

7 Name: Doku Otoko : 2006-03-11 20:36 ID:NWfRYoub

It's pretty small. The length is the length of my palm.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-11 20:45 ID:bgV/WQ87

>>7
Find a jewelry/gift box with a lift off top at a drug store or a gift shop, they shouldn't be too expensive. You usually have to ask behind the counter for them.

9 Name: Doku Otoko : 2006-03-11 20:48 ID:NWfRYoub

How much would that cost?

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-11 20:55 ID:kvlrMH8N

well if you are taking her out in 3 hours it may take time to find the box, so dont worry about it. instead spend the time getting ready (physically and mentally. shower, shave if you have to, just make yourself look nice, also try to calm yourself down because im sure you are nervous. if you still want the box go out now and get it and down worry about the price, because at this short notice you dont have time to shop around.

11 Name: Doku Otoko : 2006-03-11 20:58 ID:NWfRYoub

Bad news...she gave some lame ass excuse and cancelled it....I should've never had my hopes up. To cancel an event like this when I told her a week ago is no excuse at all. Thanks for all the help everyone. I'll keep all that advice for the next time (if there is a next time) I go shopping with a girl...

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-11 21:52 ID:kvlrMH8N

what a bitch

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-12 07:25 ID:Heaven

>>12
yeah, very disapointing but then again
>>1
maybe she was nervous or something

14 Name: Doku Otoko : 2006-03-12 08:37 ID:AljYDcxF

My belief is that she got nervous and decided to back out of it. That's why she made up a really lame ass excuse. She didn't even mention rescheduling or trying another day to go shopping. Guess I better pack up and try to move on...

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-12 11:53 ID:nddT7NLh

Why don't you try to talk to her about it first?

16 Name: Doku Otoko : 2006-03-12 15:35 ID:NWfRYoub

Well, here's what happened.
Last minute, she says that she's not able to get a ride because the person who was supposed to drive her didn't want to drive her around all day (even though we were just gonna hang out in one place) and that the person had things to do. She signs off AIM, doesn't come on until late at night. She doesn't bring up the topic until I talk about it and then she says she's prolly never going to go shopping ever. I ask her why and she says, because I DONT KNOW. To me, all the vague responses and blaming another person means that she had a change of mind though I have no idea why she would not want to hang out...I personally think she's not gonna give and is going to keep telling that story..

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-12 18:01 ID:gVykNryW

>>14

Yes, you should. No point in wasting time with such a person.

18 Name: Doku Otoko : 2006-03-12 19:26 ID:NWfRYoub

She was so into the idea and then suddenly, so against it. Is it just me or do the majority of girls do this avoiding/excuses thing? Do they read a book or something about this stuff?

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-12 20:47 ID:kvlrMH8N

well try to reschedule, who knows she can be telling the truth. but if she cancels the next time then forget about her and save that rose for someone else.

20 Name: Doku Otoko : 2006-03-12 22:15 ID:NWfRYoub

Do guys normally ask a girl to go out or is it the other way around?

21 Name: Doku Otoko : 2006-03-12 23:35 ID:NWfRYoub

Also, should i try to plan some other event besides shopping?

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-13 03:30 ID:ZPBixjL4

Shopping should be fine, the thing is did you try to reschedual or did she. It realy sounds like shes wierd then again need more details. Like how long have you been talking and ur age.

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-13 14:05 ID:ZPBixjL4

>>21 Traditionly guys ask the girl out but in todays modern culture it dosent realy matter. Personaly i think the guy should.

Anyway give us some more details.

24 Name: Doku Otoko : 2006-03-15 05:50 ID:NWfRYoub

I've decided that she's just too much trouble. I've conferred with several of my friends (male and female) and everyone seems to agree that she's avoiding me. Thanks for all your help though. I really appreciate the support.

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-16 14:05 ID:uNln8yhC

cut off communication from her. trust me, it only gets worse from here.

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-16 14:27 ID:KLoxgXga

Detail requested

27 Name: Doku Otoko : 2006-03-17 01:59 ID:rth91g/x

Well, I was sick of trying to figure out why she cancelled last minute so I asked her on AIM (we go to different high schools so we can never see each other unless we arrange something, which hasn't happened yet)"i guess it's just best to stay as online friends...yeah?" After 5 minutes, she responds with "ok if you want". I ask her "What do you want?" and she responds by saying "I want (some random gadget)". She totally dodged the question and hasn't given me a real answer. Is there any hope? Should I just wait till she says she wants to hang out sometime? Or by then, would I be in the "friend zone" and basically get screwed?

BTW, I've decided that she lied to me. I've got enough evidence already. But shouldn't people deserve more than a chance?

Also, we've only met face to face once but at that time, we weren't properly introduced to each other so we didn't know each other at all. She IMed me shortly after that meeting (she got my SN from a friend).

28 Name: Doku Otoko : 2006-03-17 01:59 ID:rth91g/x

Or maybe i've been watching too many dramas...

29 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-17 02:02 ID:kvlrMH8N

give her one more chance. if it doesnt work out say 'fuck it' and find someone else

30 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-17 03:29 ID:JRUYhnkc

The way I see it, guys shouldn't have to be the ones to ask every time. Put some pressure on the girls for a change.

31 Name: Doku Otoko : 2006-03-17 03:40 ID:rth91g/x

Haha...I totally agree with that but in the society I live in (which is the US), it's the guys who have to make the first moves and the girls who have total control of accepting or rejecting the guys.

32 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-17 04:27 ID:JRUYhnkc

There is a supply shortage of guys too... another (albeit cold) reason that the women should be the ones making an effort.

33 Name: Doku Otoko : 2006-03-17 06:29 ID:rth91g/x

Guess I'll give it another shot...Ask her out again or wait for her to ask?

34 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-17 06:44 ID:dP138ldb

>>33

I feel for you mean. However I'd just let that go. What she did was wrong. You deserve better.

35 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-17 12:17 ID:zgBC/1HL

>>1 Some good fortune for you

36 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-18 20:28 ID:0L58jxlc

>>33
Maybe if you ask her she'll reject it, give her a little time, if nothing happens ask her to go out, if she says no, maybe it's time to look for another girl

37 Name: Doku Otoko : 2006-03-18 21:40 ID:rth91g/x

A little time being like a few months?

38 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-18 21:45 ID:ieK2pJlu

That sounsd like too much time to me.. 2 weeks?

39 Name: SynthL0rd : 2006-03-18 23:53 ID:3c1JIgDS

>>33
Doku Otoko, I think you've finally met that one woman you eventually won't be able to STAND. The one that plans special get togethers with you and stands you up!. I and this type of woman met one time, pressured me into meeting her at a bar one time and TOTALLY stood me up on that night. This woman is
1) unreliable
2) irresponsible
3) and ANNOYS THE HELL OUT OF YOU PLAYING PHONE TAG.
My advice is to drop any hope of a possible relationship with this girl if she's just going to make jokes when you're trying to be serious with her, if she's never serious back, then she's just playing you d00d. To hell with her.

Otherwise there is the possibility that she was just as nervous as you were and totally wussed out by making a lame excuse not to show.

This is going to sound cheesy j-dramaish, but...
What does your heart tell you?, do you really want to pursue and build a relationship with this girl now that's she may have deceived you?.

40 Name: Doku Otoko : 2006-03-19 20:02 ID:DA0ITD0y

I love watching dramas so I guess that's why I always have hope. I dont know whether that's good or not but I believe that everyone in life makes mistkaes. It's natural for someone to lie as well so I'm gonna give her another chance. Hopefully, I won't be wrong. Besides, we've been talking to each other on AIM literally every single day since we met so it would be hard to suddenly cut her off. She's sorta become a part of my life, something to look forward to when I get home.

She's only stood me up once. Besides, there isn't anyone else right now that I'm interested in. All I know is that the first time I saw her in person, my heart skipped a beat. I couldn't take my eyes off her. Only one other person has made me feel the same so feelings like these don't come by very often. Should I believe in love at first sight? Or is that just the recipe for failure?

41 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-03-19 21:39 ID:MmK7Ta89

well if she cancels again then just try to be her friend you dont have to cut her off completely. and you dont have find someone immediately just stay away from romantically. and i dont believe in love at first sight, maybe lust, not certainly not love. so try again and if she drops again for a dumb reason then give up and just move on.

42 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-04 06:58 ID:lLLSVBNB

>>39
I've met the same type of woman myself and I wish I never did. Doku, if I was you I'd cut it off soon, trust me when I say that irresponsible types like this will simply infuriate and disapoint. They thrive on the "just one more chance" ideology that you seem to be adopting but they just see that as more of an excuse to not give a crap about you.

43 Name: Doku Otoko : 2006-04-04 07:47 ID:+rl1dtVf

Seems like everyone agrees that she's bad news for me. I've asked friends and it seems like that kinda behavior is pretty common for her (cancelling last second and stuff) so I'll just step away from trying make a relationship happen and be satisfied as being friends. THanks for all your support everyone!

44 Name: Doku Otoko : 2006-04-04 09:29 ID:+rl1dtVf

BTW, it's been almost a month and she still hasn't brought up wanting to meet me in person so I yeah, it's all going down the drain.

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