I'm a rather shy guy. I prefer quiet/shy girls.
Now, I can (and have) easily attract the attention of the loud, noisy girls, but they aren't the kind I would like to go out with
For the quiet girls... I can't really approach them. I'm too shy to, plus when I think that I might be disrupting their lives or roping them into something... I just can't.
Considering that they're quiet, and perhaps worse than I am, there's no way to tell if they like me and there's probably no chance of them telling me that they want to get to know me or go out with me.
It's so bad that, even on dating sites, I can't bring myself to contact girls I'm interested in. (Even when I see that they've viewed my profile multiple times.)
And if we ever did "get together," what would we talk about or do?
Consider this, if you do get in a relationship with a girl that is as quiet and as timid as you seem to want her, how well will the communication between the two of you be? The relationship is doomed to fail unless you both change yourself for the relationship, and in that case you're moving beyond what your current fantasy seems to be.
So... just letting you know that your current fantasy is probably a pipe dream. The most you could get out of it is some sex, nothing lasting. But even sex would be a long shot since, if she's that shy and timid, she won't be that easy either.
Depends. There are types who are quiet for everyone except their special someone.
I know of someone who is quiet for everyone except to their special someone. However, from my experience, it's really hard to find someone that quiet. But if you're quiet and she's quiet, it's not going to go everywhere. IMO, one of you will have to become less shy so you two can actually communicate well and clearly if you want this to work.
People often become less shy around the one they love though. I know because I'm that sort of person myself.
That being said, someone definitely has to start the ball rolling, so you have to get over your fear and find a way to approach these kinds of girl. Actually, one of these kinds of girl had a thing for me once. Her method was to have her friend ask me... the main thing I remember here is that it wasn't a good way to go about it. At the time I would have preferred the old fashioned note in the locker.
get drunk or at least tipsy together, that always makes people chattier.
>>5
"At the time I would have preferred the old fashioned note in the locker."
That would be so cute! ^-^
Once you work up the courage to tell her, it will get a lot easier.
The reason a lot of nice girls don't date anyway except assholes is exactly this.
>>7
I know, notes from girls would have been like, the best thing ever. There isn't really the opportunity for that sort of thing now. These days people just leave an IM.
>>2 speaks teh truth!
Communiction is very important in a relationship. If you're both shy, you can't speak openly and honestly and this will eventualli ruin the relationship.
I know it I had to experience it myself.
I had a girlfriend who was shy and timid just like me. We never could talk about our problems or desires. I felt that I'm not important to her and she felt that I'm just clinging to her... and after 10 "not so good" months, we broke up.
So, you MUST change and get a little courage... or seek for a loud girl who can coordinate the relationship.
I also kind of like shy/quiet girls but am also shy myself. I had a not so good experience with a shy girl awhile back. Last year I was actually able to work up the courage to ask one out to a movie. She seemed really happy that I asked her and said 'ok' and so we went on the following weekend. I was late picking her up because I had trouble finding her house but we went. We ended up not really talking that much in the car. I kept trying to think of things to talk about but whenever I did she would never continue the conversation and it always just died. We ended up being late for the movie so we were going to wait for another movie to start but had to wait an hour. So we went to the mall that was across the street and walked around for awhile. Both of us still pretty quiet. We just kind of walked around cause we both didn't really have anywhere we wanted to go at the time. We eventually went to the theater to see the movie. I bought her a ticket (she seemed happy about that cause she was about to buy her own right before I did it). We saw the movie, didn't really talk during it. Afterwards just the bland exchange of "that was pretty good. what did you think of it?" and just "it was good." as a reply. Drove her home, said good bye. that was it. kinda a sucky night to say the least. i tried to do my part in communication but never really got anything back for it to be worth anything. so you really need to find someone with the right balance of quiet and charismatic.
>>11
Did you ask her if you could call her again later if something came up? The situation you describe probably felt awquad because you had worked up expectations which could not happen.
I don't know, maybe you could try something different next time. Why not try do something active, go bowling or something? There are benefits, you get to see her more (not sitting in the dark cinema) You get to move your body a bit, and something funny or stupid is almost certain to happen during the game which makes you bouth laugh a bit, and you can talk naturally about how you're doing and compliment her play (or looks if you dare).
I think you guys have good points. I also am looking for a shy girl. Although a while ago I realized I don't even think I need a lot of conversation in my relation. I understand communication is key but I have always enjoyed the thought of just silently enjoying each other. I usually have trouble holding a conversation with some people (especially girls that I am interested in) so this is sort of like my ideal thing. Do you think it is possible at all? I mean some communication would be used but what about two people who could just appreciate each other even in silence?
Guys, follow the math: shy = quiet = hard conversation. So if you like shy girls so much you'd better have more guts to talk to her, and patience too... or you'll just have to give up. I know I may not sound like a shy girl but I am and I know what these girls you talked about were/are going through so that's my advice: if you like that girl, just go for it because she most likely WON'T DO ANYTHING if you don't. But you'd better not push her too much because you can't just force somebody to like you ;)
>>14
16/M/GA. All good relationships start with a/s/l. :O
>>16
Really? I thought that only applied for habbo -_-.
18/f/AU here lol..darn
>>17
Hah, I believe it does only apply for habbo. It's a real pity though. Location is always something that messes me up when I find someone I actually like. ;_;
>>18
Yeah. Well, I've never really tried I guess. Online relationships kind of creep me out..but your post just clicked something inside me. Best of luck finding that lucky shy girl eh?
18/m/GA
First time I've gotten a chance to respond to this. Let's see:
Yep, it would be sort of hard we were both shy after being together. But like some of the other people who posted mentioned, I'm the type of person who starts to talk more after getting to know people. I talk somewhat around the few friends I have, and exceedingly so with family members. (Besides my father, anyway... but that's another story.)
>>5
Yeah, that would have been my preferred method also. Back when I had lockers to put notes in...
>>6
I agree. However, I doubt many shy girls would be at parties or social events that involve alcohol... and I probably wouldn't be either.
Also, I think I become louder/more emotional in the middle of giant crowds and while doing physical activity... too bad I'm never with the girls I like at those moments.
>Once you work up the courage to tell her, it will get a lot easier.
That's what I think as well.
Though, I'm usually too afraid of the possible rejection to work up that courage. The more I like a girl, the more I'm afraid of telling her so, as I would rather want to remain unknown than be hated by the one I like.