Continued from >>41:
>I believe that the longer you wait to engage with others in real life, the more socially awkward you will feel, the less confident in communication, and thus the less likely to become engaged in society later on. I use the word society for a reason, as well: This isn't just about girlfriends and acquaintances, this is about people you will meet at work, etc. It will have a greater effect on your life than you may be imagining right now.
Actually, as for non-romantic relationships, I do interact with people in the real world all the time, as probably everyone does. I also do have a number of (real) friends whose company is important to me. And in general I almost exclusively get along with people finely, even if talking to people sometimes makes me feel timid and uneasy. I certainly don't think of real people the way I think of imaginary people, nor do I prefer imaginary friends to real ones.
I think the most salient differences between how I interact with people in real life and in daydreams, are the same differences as those between how I interact with people in real life and on the Internet. I'm more confident, and I can take the time I need to think about what I want to say before I say it. I think that's who I really am, the person I am when I'm not constrained by anxiety and when I have no trouble saying what I mean.
On the topic of anxiety in social interaction, maybe I should explain that too, if this post isn't too long already.
I often feel nervous when talking to people because I'm afraid they might misinterpret my body language. I don't want to give them any wrong impressions.
This is where my disorder comes in again. As a high functioning autistic, my social skills are innately handicapped. I believe that in the course of my life, I've managed to learn and reconstruct a good part of the social understanding and body language proficiency that everyone else already seemed to have by default, but still I have at times had problems with people who assumed I would understand cues that I was never even aware of.
One particular time in grade school, someone whom I considered a friend shouted at me for making fun of him all the time, without me have the slightest idea that I had been consistently hurting his feelings. Apparently at that moment I decided I would do anything to never make such a thing happen again. Now I am careful - to the point of paranoia - not to offend people and to nip any potential misunderstanding in the bud if I can.
This goes for acquaintances I met a minute ago as well as old friends I've known for years, or even my own parents.
>Finally, I, too, had a few "dream girls" of sorts. I did not flesh them out at all compared to what you have, and they generally changed and passed as I grew up and my interests changed.
That's how it was for my first tries, too. :)
In fact, Vanessa isn't the exact same person as she was when I first thought her up, either. But instead of changing her personality, I think of it as exploring it.
>I tossed out the idea altogether when I realized that it wasn't truly benefiting me. It was a false sense of comfort, a security blanket that I ran to in order to feel better and more relaxed, but I wasn't changing anything in the process that would enable me to avoid the issues I used the security blanket to recover/hide from.
Really? It's different to me, though. I do think I benefit from this in some ways. For example, it helps me to sort out my thoughts if I try to explain them to an imaginary listener. And sometimes I just need someone to comfort me, even if that doesn't change anything besides my state of mind. (I refer again to having read too much creepypasta.)