There's this guy in college. We call him M. I think I like him. I talked to him a few times. The thing is, he's a bit nerd. And people would he's soooo not my type. But I like him. He seems sincere. But I don't know what to talk with him. Despite that, I still think he's cute. If I could, I would like to spend a private moment with him, and just stare at him. I wannnntt M!
This thread kinda angers me. So what if he's a nerdy kind of guy? I mean, look where your asking advice. We're all a little nerdy around here lol
a girl that admits to liking a nerd? loooooooooooooooooooooooooool
you almost had me there, OP
>>I think that he wants to be my friend solely because I can speak that language. He would only consider me as someone like that.
Nothing wrong with starting a friendship based on studying the same language. If that relationship blossoms into something more than that so be it. If it stays as just a normal friendship then that's fine too. If you study with him it will be a great opportunity to get to know him and for him to get to know you.
If you're so afraid of rejection this provides a chance to at least remain friends if he isn't interesting in anything serious or romantic.
I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to offend you guys. Thank you so much for your advice.
New semester will start soon. In fact, it's this Monday. And I can't tell you how anxious I am to meet him again.
I will try my best to befriend with him. As you said, I hope our relationship will blossom.
I think I will approach him first, and this time, in the language that he's learning (which is Deutsch).
if you don't know his interests, just ask them. People often like to talk about their interests! Things like that make great conversation topics.
But I think he's the shy type. Our previous conversation was always dull and boring. It's like, I ask him one thing, he'll answer me one thing, and he never brought up any issues of interest.
That is, except when he's asking me about Deutsch. His curious face makes him look soooo cute. I can't believe I said that. lol.
Keep asking until you find a common interest, then carry on with the conversation.
or just start talking about your own, see if he joins in.
I've tried. But he always makes his dull look. The 'what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about' look. Seeing that, I sort of having this feeling, that he's not interested in me.
I knew we have a common interest, Deutsch. But talking about Deutsch is soooo not 'it'. Plus his Deutsch is not that good, I hardly understand what's he saying.
I was wondering, as school start, should I play cool, and say Hi to him first, or wait for him to do so. I don't want to do the latter as it seems so 'desperate'.
>I was wondering, as school start, should I play cool, and say Hi to him first, or wait for him to do so.
Good idea but there is one condition. If he don't answer you, give up (or in) and don't even try to talk to him. Never. It's hella annoying when people keep bugging you everyday with their "hello/hi/whatever" knowing you won't react. If he refuse to greet with you (remaining silent IS a refusal), he don't want to know you. Easy thing but lots of people don't understand this.
At least you will be know what he thinks about you:
a)silence - I don't want to know you.
b)answer - I don't mind you.
BTW: What do you mean by nerdy? Obsessed with one stuff (like some mad scientist) or unsociable?
PS.: Sorry for my English, guyz. I know sh!t about Its grammar.
>>20
Or he could actually be SHY. Before my best friend and i were friends she used to think i was always upset by her presence when i was just out of my comfort zone due to the unknown situation of befriending someone like her.
Op, would you ask him out? Else maybe try to make clear you'd be interested in seeing him out from uni. Also try to give him 'the look' and maybe a bit of physical contact but don't overdo it.
Well, If he ignores me, I'll give up, for sure. Maybe he's just not into me as much as I'm into him.
Nerdy as in, the way he dresses is a bit off (for me), and he always hangs out with his other nerdy friend. Even my friend said he looks nerdy.
But on the other hand, I do sometimes think that he is shy. Nevertheless, I'm still just going to give up if he didn't respond well.
Maybe he's still licking his scars over you not giving him your MSN or something. So that might be the reason why he's acting unfriendly towards you.
But yeah, just talk to him. You could ask him to go to a school cafe or lunch with you. Just don't worry about it too much, relax!
Yeah! I think you're right. Maybe that is why. I mean, I would be dissapointed.
Errm. Asking him to the School Cafe?! That's a huge step.
Owh, did I mentioned that we're from different race?
>>26
Well yeah. How about a lunch at the canteen? Gives plenty of time to talk about whatever and it doesn't come off too strong.
And so what if you both are from different races. It's the 21st century! If he can't handle it, big deal.
Asking him to the School Cafe, isn't that a big deal? Shouldn't he be the one who suppose to ask me.
Yaah. Inter-racial is so 'it' these days, right? lol.
>>28
1: Love doesn't just happen on it's own. You need to take the initiative! It could be that he's too timid to approach you. If that's the case, you should just ask him. And it's not such a huge step: It's a necessary step, even if all you ever become is "Good friends."
2: Are you perhaps from the southern US? What is wrong with an interracial relationship? My girlfriend and I seem to get along quite well despite the fact that we are of different races, and we've been living together for two years now.
To both points: it's the 21st century.
Women don't have to wait for men to take initiative anymore. Ask him to the Cafe if you'd like to.
Interracial relationships are kind of "trendy", but that doesn't mean people are only in them because they think it's stylish. Many interracial couples genuinely love each other.
Yeah, you're right. But what if he's not into it? I'm afraid, that he's scared of what others will say. I mean, I'm so on with the 'interracial' thing.
I come from a place, where people will stare blankly at you if you're out with someone of different race. Sad.
So what. My country they don't have black people around here. Only rarely do you see them.
Anyway, go for it on monday or whenever you see him. Let's see how this rolls out
hey. there's a nerd side in all of us! how nerdy is he? does he like subject smart? anime lover? what kind of nerd is he? and then... find out what kind of nerd lies within you, too!
>I've tried. But he always makes his dull look. The 'what-the-hell-are-you-talking-about' look. Seeing that, I sort of having this feeling, that he's not interested in me.
That's probably him just suppressing his emotions or whatever. Way-too-introverted people do that sort of blank stare a lot when they can't decide how to emotionally deal with a situation. Not saying, like he's crushing on you or some shit, but like he's in his own little world thinking about Fjords and Vikings and then you and your tits come along all friendly like. Friends of mine always gave me shit about acting that way when we first me.
Just give it a shot. He might not be interested, but like someone said above, chances are he'll be flattered and maybe it can work out into a friendship.
Everyone, updates!
I'm writing this at my college's computer lab. The first dat of college, was, I must say, AMAZING! It's like a fate. I was in my car, way from my college, when I suddenly saw him by the road (with a few friends)! Omg, I believe it's a thing called 'fate'. How would he end up there? Fate, right?
And plus, this new semester, he got a new hair cut! He looked so cute with it. I love his new haircut.
The next night, I was having my dinner with a friend. Suddenly, he passed by with his friends. Then he looked back. He LOOKED BACK. I'm extremely happy. I don't know how to express it.
Two days later, I saw him, in his shorts (sexy). Pardon for my 'biathcy'.
Sadly, I haven't seen him around after that. I went to the library in hope that I'll bump into him, but luck is not on my side.
Cool, tell me when something actually happens!
I bumped into him again yesterday at the library. He looks so cute reading Physics. When he walked pass me, it is as if he got something to say. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to start a conversation!
The saga of True-chan, part 98 out of 1 million
True-chan: Hi, Mark-kun.
Mark-kun: (Oh crap it's True!!)
Mark-kun: ....Hi... <DEATH STARE>
True-chan: <bluuuuush>
True-chan: You are so cute reading physics! Let's go and eat!
Mark-kun: <DEATH STARE> OK!
That's very funny. You made my day. I'll give my best!
any update??
Sadly no. I'm too afraid to start a conversation. His stare is so, deadly. I saw him shopping the other day with some friends, but I couldn't find the gut in me to start a conversation.
Somehow deep down inside, I believe that a man should make the first move.
>>41
Somehow deep down inside, I believe that you're gonna miss your chance, and end up dying an old lady alone devoured by your cats. Okay, that might be a bit overkill - nevermind. Just keep the first part of the sentence.
Fine, OK. Wait for your M.-kun to make a move. It will happen soon, right?!
All you have to do is go up to him
and out-DEATH STARE him.
After you have crushed his mind, drag him into your cellar.
oh man!!
as 42 mention, maybe youre gonna miss your chance.....
and if you think "that a man should make the first move." well, i can not give you any advice at this... but in your situation i think you'll need him to notice you...
I don't know how to make him notice me. I mean, I know he noticed me, but how to make him make the first move?
>(...) how to make him make the first move?
It's impossible. From what I read here (/love/) I can say that most of nerdy guys won't react no matter what. Even if he has feelings for ya, he will be too scared to do anything. We nerds are... nerds and that explains everyshit. We have 2^50 bytes of excuses for every discreet signal.
So act bluntly or give up. Is it even worth trying?
Just in case: I assumed that he is similar to the pathetic side of this board.
don't you have any asexual male friends to bully/encourage you into asking him out?
stop whining about how intimidating he is in this thread
go up to him
say you've seen him around
ask him out for coffee
I'm confused. Scared. Perplexed.
He's going to celebrate Chinese New Year next week (He's a chinese).
I saw him again yesterday. Still afraid to make the first move (Both of us). Stupid. Silly.
Will I meet him after this...
I wish I could, so I could wish him Happy Chinese New Year.
MIND CRUSH
also True just go for it
ONLY YOU HAVE THE POWER
any update?...
just give your IM already~
it would make things much easier!
trust me!
i've been trough a nerd life until junior high...
i'll get confused and nervous everytime i met a new interesting girl...
but i won't be that nervous through sms or IM because i don't have to stare her in the eyes and make a fast response.
people like that are usually speechless when it comes to direct conversation due to nervousness... hehehehe.....
so~
GET HIS IM!!!!!
go go go!!!
good luck!
Thank you for the advices. It's been a while.
I didn't seem to make any progress lately. AT ALL. He's just, to hard to approach. Things get worse as we never talk like we used to.
I wish I could have his YM~
I wishhhhhh!
M, if only you could listen to me.
you know this won't work out unless you get over your fear over him.
OMG! OMG! OMG!
I'm extremely exuberant! Something happeened yesterdey!
I was out from a room when suddenly a guy pass by and he said 'HI'.
He actually said 'HI'. M said 'HI'!
I didn't start it first. He's the one who started it first. I'm so happy. After four months (I guess).
I replied 'Hello'. That's the end of it. No further conversation.
I hope this is the start it.
Good job!
you have to be a troll
What do you mean by being a troll?
How do I work this things out? I want to be closer to him!
um this is my wild suggestion...
why not start do some "hinting" / "leading" him into...
he might catch-up to it :p
Define 'hinting'/'leading' things to do.