I'll just put this here in case someone whines in Personal...I don't know if this is even 'Romance' though, please forgive me. I figure I'd try here since my problem relates to a girl.
I am not interested in an online relationship, which is why I don't know if this is the appropriate board.
(If it helps I'm somewhat of an otaku, semi/former-hikkikomori...)
Anyways, I met a friend online in a game, we're in different countries. I actually quit and she found me somehow afterwards (when she quit too) we started talking again. Talked to her for a few months, and I felt like we could talk about anything. She told me some stuff about what happened when I was absent from the game, and somehow I pissed her off for a day by joking about something by accident. I apologized and she forgave me and things returned to normal until recently.
Now it's exam time, for both of us. We were talking up to about 3-4 days ago normally. Then she stopped responding to my messages, so I thought her internet just went wacky so I went to sleep instead wondering what was going on. I sent her a message the next morning and she told me she wasn't in a good mood, and I said okay and just left her alone.
However, she did not message me at all so I have not talked to her for 3-4 days now. I sent her an email wishing her good luck on her exams (which I'm done now but still have to work on a paper) to which she merely replied "Thanks...you too".
At first I thought she was just focusing on exams, but then I noticed that she's online on one of two things we usually talk through... I know when her finals end, and I told her mine so I find her response odd...I don't expect people to remember everything though. Now my biggest problem is whether or not I should approach her since she it looks like she is not avoiding the internet completely. I don't want to bother her during her exams, but this is killing me since I don't know if she's mad at me for whatever reason or just too focused on studying.
I'm sort of losing sleep over this along with my paper writing, so would just like some advice. I thought about just blocking her until I'm done my own stuff, as a way to relieve myself and hope she contacts me again through e-mail when she's done...but I feel like doing that would just crush the friendship between us. I admit, maybe I do like her a little but it's because I don't talk to girls that much (being an otaku) but I really do want to try to keep this friendship as almost all online friendships before this have failed miserably.
I apologize for the lengthy and probably misplaced post. (Also possibly stupid)
I once had a friend I had known for half of my life. Once we both graduated from school we started seeing each other less and less and he stopped logging in on any of the IMs or game we would play together. After months of silence I got a call from him, telling me to meet him outside of a movie theater; I showed up at the designated spot about 15 minutes early and waited for about an hour.
I never saw him and I don't know where he called me from because he didn't have a cellphone and he would move around a lot.
It could be that the girl just got tired of you, I don't know. If she doesn't contact you for a long period after this try sending her an email, if you don't get a response or she sounds annoyed just leave her alone and go on with your life.
Maybe this girl developed a crush on you and is trying to either ignore you a little bit to see how you would act. Oh I dont know though! Good luck!
Tell her that you have noticed a change in her behavior, and ask her if something is wrong. Just be more open about it.
That happened with one of my IRL friends as well, he just decided not to be friends anymore without saying anything.
And that's one of my guesses too, even though we talked a lot and stuff maybe she 'did' get tired of me. Who knows.
While I don't really think that's likely due to the things she told me about her relationships, I guess that would be a possibility too...
I think I will probably go with this.
Thanks for the advice so far guys!
Hi OP,
I've been down that road too. I met an online friend and we kept in touch for 10 years. we are from different countries too. We exchanged cards sometimes, and I sent her inexpensive stuffs for her birthday. She's been telling me secrets and stuffs she kept away from her parents (like having been in relationship and stuffs). Like most teenagers, she's been ditched few times and she told me how she hated guys and couldn't trust them anymore. Plus her parents are strict and soo....well, you know how it goes when parents are strict about close relationship..
At some points during this friendship, I did give signals that I liked her but she only accepted the feeling. Recently, I wanted to make sure so I invited my best friend to join a conversation and my friend told her great stuffs about me. After that, my friend asked her if she would ever be my girlfriend, but she said 'No'. Flatly rejected, I pretended I was fine, but it was very depressing to hear that. I thought she could be the one for me since we had a lot of things in common.
So few weeks later, I wasn't into her anymore and I think she realized it since I wasn't online that often anymore. She didn't feel like telling me her stuffs anymore. And so, I just deleted and banned her. Got rid of everything she ever sent me.
It was a complete waste of time -_-;
So OP, I learned my lesson. It's not worth getting a girl to like you online. It's a complete waste of time and effort. It's not worth it. If you want a girlfriend, go meet a girl in real life. Because any girl like u and i met on the internet simply don't give a fudge about our life.
Yeah I know what you mean, doesn't really look like she cares. I feel like I've wasted my time trying to befriend people online, it always turns out like this.
I'll give it a few more days, since I've been doing work for my own exams/papers too...
Hi OP, I'm replying because your situation sounds really familiar to me, except that I would be in the girl's position.
Sometimes when things get really stressful I get in moods where I only want to talk to certain people or I can only focus on speaking to one person, so I only log on to one messenger. That, or I go invisible if not stay offline entirely.
She could be just having a rough time. Of course I'm only putting this up as a possibility, since I don't know anything about what this girl is like. I think >>4 has the right idea, but above everything else please try not to worry yourself about it.
Thank you for your reply, an opinion from the opposite gender is always nice. I think she probably is having a rough time as her status on facebook said she was sick and writing papers, I didn't say anything yet. The only reason why I'm even worrying is because before this zero-communication happening we were pretty much talking everyday, and she suddenly told me she was in a bad mood which made me afraid to even message her (and she never got back to me after that).
As an aside I really doubt she's not talking to me because she's starting to like me, since I just remembered her saying she's not that interested in guys anymore due to a few failed relationships before which is fine, since I'm not interested in an online one either...
I will try my best to not worry about this for now, and hope something will happen soon or else I'll follow >>4 's advice finally. Thanks again...