On this board there are many threads where posters give advice and encouragement on varying aspects of the other posters romantic lives. This advice and encouragement deals with a wide range of subjects and situations. While there are some success stories that occasionally lift the spirits of those who post or lurk here, the vast majority end in failure and only serve to deepen our collective despair and sense of hopelessness.
The advice given in these threads, while helpful, mostly deals with strategies and single situation advice for dealing with those of the opposite or appealing sex. While it may help to solve the problems of the moment it does not help with the root of the problem. Many of us find ourselves alone not only because we were dealt a cruel hand in life (little contact with women, no income, etc.) but because we ourselves have many flaws and short comings that, far too often, we are not willing to admit to ourselves. These faults in our character are perhaps the greatest hindrance to our success. I, like many here, am possessed of several character faults that hold me back from reaching my goal.
My greatest weakness is that I am like a blank slate, the real world equivalent of a Lvl 1 character. While a Lvl 1 character may be able to beat a low level boss, 99 times out of 100 they will be soundly defeated. However a “Lvl 1” also has room for great growth. I intend to embark upon a quest of personal growth. However I would not let this quest be of benefit only to myself.
Thus I introduce Project Evolution. Project Evolution is the name that I have chosen for this venture. Evolution is the process by which a species, over time, removes the useless or detrimental traits it processes while enhancing or adding to those that are beneficial. This is exactly what I intend to do here. I shall attempt to remove those traits that make me week while improving and adding to those that make me stronger. I feel that we all possess this potential for personal evolution. I intent to chronicle my attempts here in this thread so that others may learn from it and if they wish provide advice. At least once a week I will provide an update detailing my progress, setbacks, dealings with women, and how my improvements has enhanced said interactions. To begin with I will provide my stats to give a general image of who I am now. To gain the most knowledge possible I would encourage others to participate in Project Evolution. This way we can gain the maximum amount of information, drawing on the experience of individuals of different lifestyles, social classes, genders, and the like.
To participate simply make an introductory post to this thread containing your states (using the format below) and an introductory journal entry describing your current situation. After that simply provide a regular updates at least once a week and stats updates as you see fit. So as to keep track of who is who please take a subject number starting with 1 and moving up from there (please use your number for your posting name as well). Any participation will be appreciated.
Stats
Subject No.(Next Number in Line)
Sex: Male / Female
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual / Bi sexual / Homosexual / Celibate
Age: (Your Age)
Nationality: (Your Nationality)
Education: (Your Level of Education (If in College Your Major))
Work: Yes / No (What You Do)
Income: (Fill in Income per Month)
Living Situation: Parents / Alone / Roommate
Knows How to Drive and Owns a Car: Yes / No
On Computer: (Fill in Hours a Day)
Weight: (Fill in Weight)
Smoke: Yes / No
Drink: Yes / No
Drugs: Yes / No
Virgin: Yes / No
Physical Experience: (Describe your physical experience with other people such as hugging, kissing, etc.)
Style: (How u usually dress)
Friends: (Describe your social circle)
Activities: (what do you do)
Skills: (Your skill set)
Extras: (Anything else we should know)
I shall soon post my own info and introductory post under the Subject No.0. Let us all do our best and hope for success.
Day 1
Stats
Subject No.0
Sex: Male
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual
Age: 21
Nationality: American
Education: College (Graphic Design)
Work: No (N/A)
Income: $0.00 a month
Living Situation: Parents
Knows How to Drive and Owns a Car: Yes
On Computer: 6-8 Hours a Day
Weight: 264.5 Lbs
Smoke: No
Drink: No
Drugs: No
Virgin: Yes
Physical Experience: My physical experience is extremely limited. I have had almost no physical contact with women throughout my life. I have occasionally gotten hugs from girls out of thanks for something or out of pity. I have never been kissed. I almost never initiate physical contact.
Style: I don’t really have a style. In the summer I dress in shorts with lots of pockets and either T-shirts or button ups. In the winter I just wear jeans and long sleeve shirts from L.L.Bean.
Friends: A have a small group of accountancies that come and go for the most part. There are only 2 or three people I consider to be true friends and I have only known them sense college. No one I am currently friends with has known me before college.
Activities: I spend a lot of time on the computer surfing the web. I also play a lot of video games. I like to read books but I also read a lot of manga and comics. I build mecha with legos when I have the time. I also take martial arts classes.
Skills: I practice taijutsu, I know a little origami (very little), I can cook fairly well and learn new recopies well if I cook them once
Extras: I have done a lot of traveling out of the U.S. I have been to Mexico, Costa Rica, Japan, London, and Canada. I have a massive manga collection totaling more than $5,000. I also have pet piranha.
My Story:
Well I guess my reasons for starting this are rather simple, I’m tired of being alone. I have no experience with women and am constantly getting friend zoned. I have come to believe that a large part of this has to do with the fact that I bring nothing to the table. I’m unemployed and only now starting to realize what I want to do with my life. On top of that I still live at home. This would not be so bad if I actually had any skills or interesting traits. Visually I don’t stand out, no real style and I’m nether good nor bad looking. I think this is where I shall start my attempts to change myself. I’ll have to get in shape and develop a personal style. Hopefully this will make me more noticeable if not more attractive.
One of my greatest setbacks is that I am a bit of a coward. I’m afraid to act in matters of the heart and hesitant to do anything that puts me out there or is slightly dangerous. This has held me back from developing any interesting talents or story worthy material. I shall also have to do something about this. Well I guess that’s all for now, can’t think of anything else to say at the moment. It’s time to get to work.
You have some good skills already. For one, you can cook. A lot of women nowadays can't. You also majored in graphic design, so I assume that your art skills are much better than the average dude's(even if you can't draw, you must have an eye for good design). You've got a piranha, which is very uncommon. You've also done a lot of travelling, and I refuse to believe that you can't get one interesting story out of that.
Confidence, confidence! (you might be aware of this problem already of course)
Sounded interesting so I decided to join in, I'll try to post while I'm on my trip too
Subject No.01 aka Otakun
Sex: Male
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual
Age: 20
Nationality: United States
Education: Education - Social Studies
Work: Fledgin martial arts teacher
Income: I get paid in food ; _ ;
Living Situation: Parents
Knows How to Drive and Owns a Car: Yes
On Computer: Generally during freetime
Weight: Secret! but lets say I can lose some
Smoke: No
Drink: Not habitually
Drugs: No
Virgin: Yes
Physical Experience: I rarely hug anybody outside of my family seriously. Let alone kissing, thats a whole nother issue.
Style: Whatever fits/comfortable, but some sense of style on occassion
Friends: Most friends in different colleges, but I see a few good ones every so often. Can easily make friends
Activities: anime/manga fan, wikipedia fanatic, gaming, martial arts, photography
Skills: Quick learner, martial arts, good memory
Extras: Socially I can get along with people, but due to circumstances have felt apathetic and unambitious in the realm of dating. The apathy can be a strength or a weakness as in being able to move on easily, but is hard to allow things to happen.
oh by the way... I forgot to mention i'm only in college still trying to get that degree. Plus I forgot I can cook decently... does that help?
Decided to make my story seperate:
I guess due to my upbringing I've always been somewhat of an introvert and a follower, happy to just go with the flow and not strive to do much. However, the times that I always do try, they ended up in failure due to circumstance and my own weakness. Right now I feel like my life is being wasted since my own little sister surpasses me in almost everything we do except martial arts (Thats my thing). I'm the black sheep of the family that stays home, does his own thing, and usually its nothing useful. Due to that, I'm heavily influenced by anime and manga, which helped me find my path in education. However, how the me right now hope to achieve my dreams? I have to change!
As to be expected my relationship level is pretty low, all my past "attempts" failed due to my inability to catch the right timing, whether created by me or naturally. I was in full speed ahead before, but now I'm slowing down to a slow coast. I want to avoid that at all costs.
Hey No. 00, do any of those people that you see in college girls? What I was thinking was that coming next semester we make atleast 1 girl a good friend! Just someone that we can rely on and ask for advice. Since we're in practically the same boat, I don't really know how to push ourselves forward...
I just know for a fact, that we gotta do something right?
>>3
Thank you for your advice. I would defiantly agree with you about the lack of confidence. I am a big coward in several areas of my life, this is one of the things that I hope to change. The traveling and piranhas would be good conversation starters, I don’t think I have been using those topics to full effect. The graphic design is actually new, I won’t be applying for that major until the spring but it should be a good point. If the cooking is a good point than I guess I’ll have to gain more experience.
Subject No. 01
Thank you for joining me in this endeavor. May our efforts bear fruit and our experience benefit each other. I noticed that you said “my own little sister surpasses me in almost everything we do except martial arts (Thats my thing)”. I think you may have a solution right there. Like you with your sister my friends out shadow me in almost everything. For that reason we should gain more things that only we do. If you’re the only one participating you will be the best. Plus you will stand out more.
I also think that your plan for the coming semester is a good one. While I did make female acquaintances last semester I will be changing schools. Having a female on our side to give us advice would be helpful as she could give us constructive criticism, besides it is nice to have more friends.
I think the fact that you're changing schools is a good opportunity for experimenting on yourself. Are you leaving anytime soon? Like after this semester or starting this semester in a different school?
I see it like this... since you're leaving your old school you could try getting to know more and more people there. If you mess up you're going somewhere else anyways, and if you don't you can stay in contact with them. The new school is also a whole new opportunity yes? A chance to reinvent yourself. As for me, I'm leaving my current school in the spring for another one, so I'm going to try as much as I can!
Subject No.02
Sex: Male
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual
Age: 19
Nationality: Slovakia
Education: Studying college (Pharmacy)
Work: No
Income: Well, none... if you don't count parents
Living Situation: Roommate mostly, but with parents in summer
Knows How to Drive and Owns a Car: No (But currently learning)
On Computer: Around 8 hours a day
Weight: 60 kg (skinny)
Smoke: No
Drink: Yes, sometimes
Drugs: Yes
Virgin: Yes
Physical Experience: Many hugs with friends (mostly females, but few males too), kissed with one girl and also got to well... do her once manually, but that was all
Style: Hm, casual? I wear, what I find comfortable
Friends: I have like 4 really good friends from high school and made quite a lot among current schoolmates, few of them are really close to me including my 2 roommates.
Activities: I like stories generally, so most of my free time is spent on movies, tv-series, anime, comics and so on. Then hanging out with friends and also studying - it takes a lot of my time and I like doing it.
Skills: Learning, logical and rational thinking, getting on with people
My story:
In my life for now, there were only 2 girls worth mentioning because I got somewhere with them. The first one... well, this is a very long story and I plan to post it here some day because I need to let it out, maybe in a separate topic because I don't think I've got over her, even now. Let say it took 5 years of my life and I have to live with a feeling that I kicked away the person, that understood me the best. The other girl was the one I got physical with, it was a summer thing and I didn't have any real feelings for her, just took a chance to gather experience. Funny note - neither of them became my girlfriend. I wanted to, mostly with girl no. 1, but it didn't happen.
So, the next question should be - why am I here? Because I want to know, how it feels to have someone, that loves me. I want to evolve so that I would stop overthinking things and also stop getting friend-zoned all the time. Last year I tried to get together with one girl, but got friend-zoned from the begining, so lost few months trying. But well, I was glad that I did something, even if it didnt't work out. And last but not least - I want to help evolve others. Teamwork ftw:)
For now, it's summer, so for me it means no new girls to meet, to exactly get my things going I need to wait for new semester to begin. Pitty, but at least I have time to think some things through, get together and prepare for upcoming battles.
Subject No.3
Sex: Sexless
Sexual Orientation: Pansexual
Age: 19
Nationality: Asian
Education: General Studies
Work: No
Income: 0.00
Living Situation: Parents
Knows How to Drive and Owns a Car: Yes
On Computer: 3-5
Weight: 151
Smoke: No
Drink: No
Drugs: No
Virgin: No
Physical Experience: the good stuff.
Style: casual, jeans, button-down shirts, chains
Friends: contains mostly younger adults
Activities: draw, sing, dance
Skills: ?
Extras: I don't want to get married or have children.
Subject No.4
Sex: Male
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual
Age: 20
Nationality: Asian-American
Education: Major - Engineering
Work: No
Income: $0.00
Living Situation: Alone
Knows How to Drive and Owns a Car: Yes
On Computer: 2-4 hours.
Weight: ~140lb
Smoke: No
Drink: No
Drugs: No
Virgin: Yes
Physical Experience: I've hugged a girl before. That's it.
Style: Self-made style. =]
Friends: Have a few good friends.
Activities: Computers, Reading, Anime/Manga, Violin, Building things
Skills: Builds things. Plays violin. Speaks Japanese. Experienced traveler.
Extras: I'd actually just like peoples' opinion, concerning whether I actually stand a chance in the wide world of women... Had only one girlfriend years ago, but I was the reason I was dumped. Haven't even had so much as a good female friend since. =\
Subject No. 01
I’m changing schools starting this fall. I’m going back to my community college to brush up on my art skills. After that I’m applying to a new University. So I guess I will have a place to level up and a place to start over.
Subject No. 02
Welcome it’s good to have you with us. From the sound of it you are already beginning to evolve. You have the drive to change and that is the first step. Your skills and activities should give you a lot of talking points in the conversation arena. I’m wondering if you have any good stories about things that you have done. It seems to me that many of the guy’s who attract girls are the ones who stand out not just in looks but who also have stories about themselves. Stories about the places you have been and the things you have done are very impressive especially when told properly. If you can establish yourself as an impressive and worldly man this could help delay a girl’s decision to friendzone you and give you more time to impress her with how great a guy you are.
Subject No. 03
It is nice to have you with use. It would be easier for us to aid you if we had more specific information or your story.
Subject No. 04
From your skill set it sounds like you have a lot of good things to work with. You seem to be very well rounded. It is a good sign for your character that you are willing to admit your fault in the failing of a relationship. To be honest I think you stand a good chance with women. If you don’t mind could you tell us more about yourself so we can give you better advice.
Day 5
Well it’s been 5 days since I started this project. Since it is the start of a new week I guess I’ll go ahead and make my first one week update. To be honest not too much has happened. The major thing that I have done so far has to do with my wardrobe. I figure if you are going to update your appearance the easiest place to start is with your clothes. Basically I went through my closet and found clothes to discard. To start with I got rid of everything that I did not fit in to, most of it was years old and looked like crap anyway. Then I got rid of things that just looked terrible, a small stack. Lastly I got rid of a LOT of t-shirts. They were a lot of those snarky, sarcastic, anti-social things that kids would were in high school. For me that was the most important removal. Wearing shirts that talk about how stupid people are seems rather counterproductive, and quite frankly they were childish. Now that all that stuff is cleaned out I am only left with the best clothes I have to wear. I don’t have any money to buy new clothes right now but when I do get some I’m going to update my wardrobe.
Other than that I have not done much. I have started working on my origami skills. I figured I would start with flowers, get that combination of artistic skill and romance. I have also started working on my cooking skills. I’m also starting to look into more American music, I’m surprised that I actually like some of this stuff (only listened to anime soundtracks for years). This is a small start but you have to begin somewhere.
There are already more participants then I expected there to be at this point and it is very heartening, seems to be good variety to. It would be nice if some females would participate as well so we could get their opinions and perspective. Let’s all continue to do our best.
Well I’m about to get some real world practice interacting with a girl on a one on one basis. Today I called up a female friend of main who I have not talked to all summer. We aren’t to close but we do get along well. After talking for a while we eventually got around to possibly meeting up. We are currently working out plans to go to the zoo. This won’t be a date but it’s the closest I’ll have been before. I’ve never actually gone out to do anything one on one with a girl before so this should be a good experience for me.
>>14
Well, I don't know exactly how witty your t-shirts were, but I know by experience that some of the good ones are actually great conversation starters - and what more, not even initiated by you.
>>15
If you've never been on a date alone with a girl, maybe you would want to bring some friends or something. One-on-one can lead to awkward moments and such (even if they're not mandatory). That said, it also is a good thing to push yourself through these moments, as it helps conquer the fear of interacting. Remember, there is no negative experience.
Ah...is it too late for this? I thought it was interesting.
Subject No.5
Sex: Female
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual
Age: 22
Nationality: American(South Asian descent)
Education: College graduate
Work: No
Income: $0
Living Situation: Parents
Knows How to Drive and Owns a Car: No(I have a license, but the car I use is my dad's)
On Computer: 7-10 hours/day
Weight: 130 lbs (Height: 5'2)
Smoke: No
Drink: Socially Only
Drugs: No
Virgin: Yes
Physical Experience: Never past second base.
Style: T-shirt and jeans typically. Sometimes skirts. Nothing fancy unless I need to be fancy or really feel like it. I like boots, but I don't wear heels ever and don't have any intention to.
Friends: Lots from where I went to college, and a couple around here, but everyone's off doing their own thing and rarely pay notice to my existence; they're all really flaky folks. It's a little annoying, so I don't think I can really call the people here friends.
Activities: Video games, visual novels, read some books, draw a little, watch animu, read manga, eat, sleep, general grooming. I also like researching totally useless information, like the details surrounding the life of Cesare Borgia, the man that was used as a model for several paintings of Jesus at the time, or that there's a type of shark called the blotched catshark that becomes florescent under blue light. The more you know.
Skills: Drawing, writing, cooking, bullshitting, staying up for two days without sleep and still seeming perfectly normal.
Extras: I've been trying pretty hard to get a job since graduation, but I've pretty much given up at this point and I'm waiting for summer to end so some openings free up when retail places fire all the crappy noobs they hired in late spring. That is, I'm probably just using that as an excuse so I can wait a while before having to take up a crappy job at Walmart. My economic situation is what's troubling me most right now, but I'm getting a little wary of my parents nudging me to get a boyfriend and get hitched. While snagging a preferably rich boyfriend would be nice, I'm not really looking for anyone right now. Besides, I'd like to lose some weight first. I'm not obscenely fat, but it's easy to get carried away once you're no longer a teenager, and I'd like to be able to fit through doors in the future. It doesn't help that my parents like to shove barrels of rice down my throat and then tell me I'm starting to gain weight, to which I promptly reply "Whose fault is that?" while pointing to the barrel of rice they intend to feed me the next day. I do take walks every now and then, and I like to move around, so keeping my weight the same is no problem. Losing it is the issue.
It seems pretty silly, but right now I don't really have anyone to voice my petty complaints to. The person I used to consider my best friend is all but ignoring me for no reason other than she's too "busy" sucking face with her boyfriend and going to her part time job. I know it's childish to be annoyed at something like that, but she's pretty sensitive and wouldn't take me telling her all of that to her face lightly. I don't hate her, so there's no way I'd make her cry just out of a petty annoyance.
Day 13
Well this post is a little late in coming. There hasn’t been too much happening sense my last post. I have improved my cooking skills a little. I learned how to cook pesto ravioli, chicken tikka, and carnitas. I not only know how to cook them but I have memorized the recipes so I can cook them from memory. I’ve also started paying a lot more attention to the clothes that I ware. I’ve been favoring button ups over T-shirts and the look a lot better. Over this next week I hope to work things out for the trip to the zoo. I also want to work on getting out of the house more as it can’t be productive to stay inside all the time.
>>16
I know what you mean about the T-shirts. I did save the ones that were witty or got conversations started. The ones that I got rid of were the ones that said things to the effect of “people are stupid” stuff that seems like it would be popular with high school kids.
>>17
Don’t worry it’s never too late to join in, welcome aboard.
If getting into a relationship isn’t important to you right now don’t let anyone push you into it. As for the barrels of rice, just be firm and let your parents know that it isn’t helping you to lose weight if they keep feeding you so much, just stand your ground. It also sounds like you need to find some friends you can actually count on to be there for you. You sound like you know what you want to go and get it. We’ll support you the best we can and give advice when you need it.
Let’s all do our best this week!
Day 15ish
I'm posting this from my overseas vacation so spare me on the lack of time awareness. Since I'm really in a different country right now I'm sort of stuck with my last few days. This vacation has been pretty much romanitcally depressing in that when I see a girl that I instantly get attracted to, I already think of two things...
Don't get me wrong, being in this country makes it easy for anybody with a fluent english accent to land a girl, but I'm looking for something more worthwhile like all of you here.
Last year I met a girl taht I was starting to get close to, but the thing is... I don't know if she only was hanging around me because it was arranged to, or if she really wanted to. Also if I even want to start a long distance relationship where we struggle to an unhappy ending. We can't really communicate as it is, and I just hope that she does forget me and moves onto someone better. Ah I might just be still too chicken to do anything anyways. Guess I'll wait till I get back to the U.S. to meet a girl. Probably since school is starting soon too!
Well, posting an update on my situation. Truth is, there hasn't really been an improval, mostly because of holiday, as I mentioned before - things will start to move after school starts. On the other hand, I met the girl that ment the world for me, the one which took 5 years of my life. And it shook me quite a lot. Everyone has been saying to me to get over her, hell, I've been trying to do that for such a long time and then I meet some friends we have common and bang, there she is with them and even smiles at me.
So, for now I'm just sitting at home trying to get rid of this sad-lonely mode and I'm not really in shape of social interactions. I know that it will improve at september, but this also means I have to live with it for a month. Crap.
Subject No. 00
If you're not expecting anything but friendship from the girl you're going with, it's a good idea to obtain some interaction skills and the awkward moments won't be that much of a problem. But keep in mind that it's not the real thing, if you'll go out with a girl you like then prepare for loads of nervousness to overcome. And I envy you that cooking think, that should score some points with girls.
Subject No. 01
If you're looking for something serious, than I think long-distance relationship isn't good idea. You don't even know each other and you have only few days left. But there's a chance, you know, to get some experience - in interaction or physical. Well, if she doesn't speak english that leaves only the physical but still, it can make you less nervous when you'll find some girl to get serious with. But if she attracts you too much on an emotional way, it's probably not worth trying.
Subject No. 05
Well, for now you seem to be pretty much occupied with everything but getting a boyfriend, so I good luck with getting these things in order. You can also address your complaints here, we'll listen.
Summer vacation = nothing interesting. There's not much one can do while on summer vacation. However, I am doing a few things, even though they are more related to self-development for my own sake rather than being related to women... oh well, here goes:
Subject No.01
You don't happen to be in Asia right now, are you?
Subject No.02
I know how you feel. It's now been over 4 years and I still haven't completely gotten over being dumped by my first (and only) girlfriend. I haven't even spoken a single word to her at all since that day. It all went down my senior year of high school - talk about having a crappy senior year, especially when your entire circle of friends (of which she is apart of) is partying (including her) like there's no tomorrow while you're depressed as hell! I thought that distancing myself would work, and for the most part it has. Although, there are still times when I remember. It was very bad at the beginning, but as time went on it got better... especially when it came to my attention that she got a new boyfriend, I realized that if she was able to forget about some loser like me and move on to someone better, that it would be possible for me to do the same. I honestly believe that in order to completely, 100% forget, it'll just take more time.
Subject No.05
Be strong. Please, always try to think that there are people who have been through worse than you, and were able to survive and overcome their problems. Sometimes you just have to go through the unpleasant moments in life. Good luck with your problems, and remember that you can always talk here whenever you feel like it. =]
Thanks, you guys are all awesome.:D I don't think I'll be able to write every day, but I'll do my best to keep things updated. I'm probably going to complain a lot, so apologies in advance; I know there's a lot of people worse off than me, but that's precisely why I can't really complain to my friends and family. They've all got it a heck of a lot worse.
Anyhow, first entry will be divided in two, as I write too goddamn much.
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Entry 1 (Part 1)
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So earlier in the week I managed to get back in touch with that same friend who has never so much as tagged me in a Facebook note in probably around a year(I'm always the one who has to call the princess, since I'm so obviously the lowly servant), and she ropes me into this voice acting project she's involved in. There was a role open, so considering she's pretty much my only link to human society outside the internet and my immediate family, I opted to try out for it. It's not a huge production or anything; think one of those cheap fandubs on youtube or whatnot. Actually, just thinking about doing something like that is already annoying me, but it's good to try new things, right? Right? You don't know you'll hate something until you try it. Or so I tell myself.
Right now, if one of my acquaintances invited me to go sky diving with them(an all paid trip, of course; I'm dirt poor after all), I'd go in a heartbeat, despite being absolutely terrified of heights and greatly disliking the idea of wind in my face. Reading lines in front of a cheap microphone that's probably older than I am sounds like a little better than trolling private WoW servers at this point. Rather than improving my situation, I feel like I'm clawing at any single grain of possibility in this hole I've gotten myself stuck in. I think the fact that, instead of feeling completely depressed about it, something inside me just feels really pissed off about it, and that's what's motivating me. But then, I remember I'm dirt poor, and that fire is snuffed before it even has a chance to burn.
Anyway, moving past that, the meeting with my friend didn't go all that smoothly. We wandered around the mall for a while, she updated me on her life, I updated her on mine, the usual. The reason we're still friends is that even if you split the both of us up for years and years, when we see each other again, we just pick up where we left off as if nothing happened. I don't mean to make it sound like I'm singing her praises one second and bashing her with a spiked mallet the next, but that sorta puts how I feel about her into proper perspective.
You see, after some time, we got bored of just wandering around by ourselves, and I asked her to invite some more of her friends along; the more the merrier after all. So she calls her boyfriend, who is very much not interested in joining us but is adamant in his "maybe I'll come, we'll see" wishy-washy response. Now, here's the issue; she didn't call anyone other than her boyfriend. Not only that, but she proceeded to have a "serious" argument over the phone with said boyfriend(over his flip-flopping nature) in the middle of the mall for around a half hour. After this, she proceeds to rant to me about her doormat boyfriend, about how he always flip-flops and such and how SHE always has to make the decisions in the relationship. This part wasn't so bad; the fact that she was letting out her complaints to me made me feel a bit relieved in a sense. Regardless, we ended up going back to her place...where she calls her boyfriend and has him show up. And then they had a conversation. A serious one. In the stairway right next to the room I was left rolling my eyes in with said friend's little sister(who is pretty awesome for realizing that this girl is the epitome of etiquette failure). Once said conversation is finished, they proceed to make out. For like an hour. While her sister played on my Nintendo DS.
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Entry 1 (Part 2)
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At this point, please be reminded that I put forth a valiant effort not to punch both of them in the face. My efforts were a rousing success! Aren't you guys proud?
We ended up getting some ice cream later and she lassoed me into that voice acting thing, so it wasn't a complete disaster. Regardless, I need to find myself better friends(though, I do have better friends, but they're all in another state and I'm too poor and too attached to living spaces that are devoid of roaches to move back there), or at least headbutt some proper manners into that girl.
Besides all of that, I've been formulating a new plan for my future. Wal-mart is the key; first I have to get a job there and work there for a while to get some good rep. It's possible to transfer from one Wal-mart to another, so I was thinking of saving up some money and moving back to where my friends are. If that doesn't work, I have a million more Pinky and the Brain induced back-up plans. Vigilance!:D
...or so I tell myself.>_>
>>23
Sounds like a bit of planning, a bit of daring are putting you on the good way - good luck!
Words of wisdom for those in this thread:
You can get bros without hos, but you can't get hos without bros.
In other words, you can't expect to get anywhere with women unless you have some solid friends.
This might be already too late. But I’ll try anyways
Subject No.6
Sex: Male
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual
Age: 17
Nationality: Asian-British
Education: College-Animation
Work: No
Income: $0.00
Living Situation: with parents
Knows How to Drive and Owns a Car: No
On Computer: Mostly when I have a free time
Weight: 183 lbs
Smoke: No
Drink: No
Drugs: No
Virgin: Yes
Physical Experience: I’ve only been able to hug girls before. That’s it
Style: Well in terms of clothing I normally wear formal and suitable fashion clothing with suits during proper occasion I never wear hip-hop or what other teenagers like to say gangster clothing.
Friends: Have an average number of good friends.
Activities: Computers, Drawing, Learning how to speak Japanese, watching anime and reading manga, Sports, video games, rock-climbing, swimming and Eating.
Skills: Easy to talk to, cooking, helping other people when they need it, giving advice (sometimes).
Extras: Like No.5 I’ve been trying to find a job to support myself and give some to my family as well, but due to this economic downfall I can’t get any no matter how good my application form is, and I was at a verge of giving up but then I thought if I gave up now that would mean I would give up on harder things in life so I didn’t but rather persevere. But my main problem is not that I don’t have a job but rather the lingering feeling that I feel that my life is like an empty shell, there’s nothing that satisfy me, I have an average of good friends but most of them have already set goals and seems to be fulfilling it, which I have this friend who went to Ireland, by the way I live in the UK, anyways he went there to do a golf course because he wants to become a pro golf player and others are also successful and it every time I hang with them they seem like in a different level than I am, although I excel in animation it feels like something is missing. But that is my problem I don’t know what’s missing. Especially during summer holidays like now which it takes it out of you since I’m here at my house doing nothing worthwhile and worth remembering, and even though I go to parties it still feel empty, I’ve decided many times that I will need to change myself before the new semester starts, but what I am worried about is that, if I changed myself would it fill the gaps that’s been missing in me….
Isn't it obvious?? What you lack is someone to really care about; Be that a girlfriend, or a best friend. Go find someone that you really respect and become close with them.
Yes, I was in Asia. Finally back though and I think I've changed a bit where I'm actively engaging more people now since they can speak english too.
I have a weird day today where my sister told me to stay home... Is she bringing a girl over? lol
Glad you had a nice trip. Was your sister really bringing a girl over? You should look into that. It'd be wasteful if she turned out to be attractive and you just let that sort of opportunity slip by.
Well this post is very late. I’m under the weather at the moment so I haven’t gotten on the computer in a while. I have a few good things to report. Firstly I have managed to ease my weight down to 258 Lbs. Second I started the fall semester last Saturday. Sadly the class seems to be a dead zone so far as girls go most of the females in the class are between 30 and 40 and of the two that aren’t only one of them is mildly attractive to me at the moment, still I will try to be open minded in my interactions. It’s not a good idea to close a door before you look inside. I still have 3 more classes to look forward to. Lastly I have learned the power of a smile. I’ve come to notice that girls pay a lot more attention to you when you smile especially if it looks genuine. They especially seem to like it if the smile is directed at them. When I say a smile I mean the kind that you get when you are having fun, not one of those cheesy “smile for the camera” smiles. I’ll have to look into this more.
>>25
This comment is especially important. I think it’s easy to forget that it’s hard to find someone if you aren’t socially well rounded.
>>26
Welcome to the Project. I think the change you should worry about most is an inner change. When a person feels that something is missing inside it usually has to do with who you are at the core. Try to get as good an understanding of yourself as you can.
This seems interesting
Stats
Subject No.7
Sex: Female
Sexual Orientation: Bisexual
Age: 16
Nationality: Asian-American
Education: High School, planning on music major
Work: no
Income: n/a
Living Situation: Parents
Knows How to Drive and Owns a Car: yes
On Computer: less than 6
Weight: 120
Smoke: No
Drink: No
Drugs: No
Virgin: Yes
Physical Experience: Although I'm young I've had my share :O I've hugged, kissed, and cuddled with men, kissed women.
Style: Comfortable, sweats, basketball shorts, v-necks, guys shirts. Occasionally I'll dress girly in order to try and mask any rumours of my sexuality.
Friends: Easy Going people, we're a big group
Activities: aside from illegal things, what DONT i do? I'm very outgoing. I love naps :D
Skills: Musician, artist, dancer, poet, clean freak, baker, oxygen converter specialist(haha) ,
Extras: I don't really need/want a relationship. But if there's any advice you can give about breaking up, please feel free :)
Lately I've been unable to open up to people, one of the reason being an ex who frequently contacts me although he's found a new love. I don't mind it and all, but if this keeps up I'll never be able to move on.
This is an anonymous thread, so I guess this should be ok...
It's been awhile since I posted here, but it is as I said - things started to move as soon as school began. First of all, I did some progress in a matter of that girl of my past, that I couldn't forget. I just wrote to her, talked for a while and realized that she chose to be completely other person and that it didn't really interested me what she had to say about herself. This I consider a big step in my evolution because I hope I can finally move on now.
Other thing is - I met a girl. And we kinda shared a moment, dancing together, I hugged her little more and she responded. That's all, but I don't want to rush things. One thing is that she recently broke up with her boyfriend and on the other side - I'm not really sure what I want. How do I feel about her? The other day I said in my head: ,,There's something about her." Of course, it's pretty natural that we have to get to know each other to develop something, the real problem is, I find having a girlfriend too troublesome. There are just too many problems and it's really time consuming. It sort of prevents me into fully diving into this. And of course, all I experienced were some sparks for a moment, I'm not expecting anything, but this is more general problem.
I also realized other thing - I'm too demanding. I'm used to getting things of top quality. Not that my parents spoiled, it's like... for example, I rarely watch movie when it doesn't have good ratings from various sources. Or I spent month choosing my notebook collecting informations about brands and performances. And the girl I met... she's a person. And like every one of us, she has her own mistakes, so I know how ridiculously stupid I'm thinking. I have to stop having these thougths and also stop caring about other people opinions.
Subject No. 7
From what I picked in past years, the thing about breaking up is... just do it. Do it in person, not through e-mail, IM etc. and never give false hopes.
Well, I'm also interested in how are you all doing, so keep posting if you have some updates. And thanks for letting me getting this out here, few my friends have their own love problems, so I don't want to bother them.
>Subject No.7
Don't worry about not being able to move on. I broke up with one of my exes like 4+ years ago...well, it's kinda weird to call him an ex now, since he's now one of my closest friends and confidants. I think you should talk to one of your female friends that you think you can trust. It'll strengthen your friendship at the very least if you can build up the guts to tell her your thoughts.
>Subject No.2
I think you should probably keep in contact with that girl, regardless of whether you're interested or not. You like her enough for it to pique your interest, but a steady relationship might be a bit much for you now if you're feeling flippant. If you keep her as a friend, it might prove beneficial, either by finding a more solid love interest by proxy, increasing your affections for her, or just by making a new friend and confidant.
Dang, I feel like I'm in a 4kids show, making all these friendship speeches...well, anyway, here goes entry two.
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Entry No. 2
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So I met up with that friend of mine that's pretty much forgotten I exist about a week or so ago. She's broken up with her boyfriend, which was a long time coming since she tended to initiate a lot of arguments with him. Granted, occasionally he had it coming, but it was for the most part her outrageously overbearing personality. She's a nice girl, but she's really forceful, and trying to force a boyfriend who's normally a doormat by nature to be a little more opinionated will only confuse him. She'll probably end up realizing she took it for granted and then ask him out again, especially with them being on speaking terms again. Unfortunately, this sort of thing takes time, so even if I can accurately predict exactly what'll happen between those two, she wouldn't listen to my forecasts. She's really forgotten that I exist by now, and only remembers when I put in the effort to call her.
In other news, I did some more job interviews, but I haven't gotten any calls back at all. I'm really getting desperate, but I don't want to do a job that I know I won't be able to do well, like substitute teaching or something. I don't really hate kids, I just don't want to deal with the nightmare ones that'll no doubt exist in a classroom environment. If I go into a job like that, there's no doubt I'd be fired, or the chance of worse things happening could occur.
I really wish I was more attractive; maybe then I could attract a rich boyfriend and my money troubles would end. It's not like I'm so butt-ugly that mothers hide their children for fear of them looking at me; I just disappear really well and I'm, for the most part, forgettable. I think at this rate, I'll probably just become more and more cynical and eventually give up with my luck being as horrible as it is.
Here's to things turning around soon, if I haven't already jinxed it.
Entry No. 5
Well it has been far too long sense I made an update report. I’d like to say it’s because I’ve been so busy with college, or even better that I’ve been seeing a wonderful young lady. Unfortunately neither is the case. The sad truth is that I have been slipping back into my old slacker ways. However that is not a path I want to stay on, so I pulled myself together to make this report.
Firstly I have to mention that this semester is an absolute flop as far as women in my class go. Many of them are 30+. The rest are ether annoying or hipsters. There are exactly two girls that seem worth talking to. Unfortunately one of them has interests that are almost the exact opposite of mine (rather urban but she is a nice girl), the other doesn’t talk to anyone in our class. In fact I’m the ONLY person besides the teacher she has talked to. The plan of making a female friend would be out the window if I had not resumed contact with an old classmate from my first go at this college. We haven’t managed to meet up yet but we have been texting a lot. For the most part I’ve given this fall up as a bad job.
I also tried to venture into the world of online dating. Back around July I set up an OK cupid account. Needles to say it was a waste of time. Every woman I messaged failed to respond one way or another and the one IM conversation I had the girl practically fled from. I finely got sick of my inbox being full of useless messages and deleted my account. Another bad job.
Things aren’t all bad though. On the health side I’ve managed to get my weight down to 256.5 lbs. It’s not much but it is a start. Also I have discovered that while I don’t like coffee I do love tea, hooray for new points of interest.
I’ve also decided that if the place I live is completely devoid of a social scene I’ll just have to make one. I’ve been developing a plan that involves the woods, a sheet, some fire, hotdogs, a projector, and crapelly entertaining movies. I’ll have to see if this works out or ends up as a flop.
Subject No.2
Congratulations on having a bit of luck. Stay calm and see where it goes.
Subject No.5
I'm sure things will get better and turn around soon. just keep moving towards your objective.
This seems interesting, and I'd like to get in on it. However, I'm pretty content with my situation, so I'd like to just give my honest opinions on this experiment and its subjects.
Subject No. 00: I think you'll be fine, you seem to have a nice drive for yourself. Just don't let that apathetic feeling sink in, and I believe you will do great.
Subject No. 5: I don't know, if I were you I would just accept that your friend is a ticket out of the house; maybe you could try to strengthen the relationship, but from what I can tell, you can at least experience new things through her.
Stats
Subject No. 09
Sex: Male
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual / Celibate
Age: 24
Nationality: Asian-American
Education: Pol sci
Work: tutor
Income: (not disclosed)
Living Situation: Parents
Knows How to Drive and Owns a Car: Yes
On Computer: (6)
Weight: 160
Smoke: No
Drink: No
Drugs: No
Virgin: Yes
Physical Experience: limited
Style: casual/cool
Friends: limited
Activities: weights/gym
Skills: computer/audiophile enthusiast, exercise, academics
Extras: Skeptic theoretician.
Entry 2 - Prepare for a block of text...
So its been a while, and I finally had the chance to read up on what everybody has been doing. All in all, I just have to say keep going! Nothing's going to change if nothing is done!
Well for the remainder of my summer I spent it on catching up on all the video gaming, manga, and anime that I missed since school was beginning. Since school started I've regressed back into my headphone wearing self that blocks out the everyday noise and annoyances. If you've played "The World Ends With You" its kinda look why Neku wears his. My classes have been keeping me pretty busy despite being jobless and such. If you remember I said I took more classes than I usually do to "push" myself forward a little bit. But Socially nothing happened until the Clubs and Organization fair.
I finally took Japanese like I was meaning to, and so far its been great. So when Sensei was at the table, I decided to step out of my shell and ask her if she needed any help. Somehow I got roped into helping the Japanese Club gather potential members. Since there wasn't anybody to lead the club, I did another crazy thing, I volunteered to be president! So here I am, becoming more assertive and pushing myself into the spotlight (atleast for the club). Since becoming President I've been tasked with doing all the administrative stuff, which forces me out of my shell. So much so that I've been interacting with people to the degree that surprised my friends.
So far we've got a meeting coming in a few days, and I'm incredibly bored with the way things are going. Maybe I'll use the club as preparation for socializing and leading! Nvm the maybe, I WILL DO THAT. At this point I feel more like Haruhi then myself o_O
Well things are looking a bit up with the girl in one of my classes. For identification purposes I will call her “Phones”. When she came in this morning I just decided to take the initiative and I greeted her with a friendly hello. She actually returned my greeting with one of her own and a friendly smile. During the critic and lecture section of the class I sat next to her and made some small comments and observations that she seemed agreeable to. We left class at about the same time and had a little conversation about our work exchanging small compliments and then parted ways. All in all it was a nice little experience. I don’t really expect anything to come from it. It would be nice if something did, even friendship, but I won’t get my hopes up. It’s strange that no one else in the class has actually talked to her. Aside from me I think only one or two people have said more than a few words to her in this class. Still she seems nice and has a rather good personality. It felt good to take control like that and just do what I felt like, a major confidence boost.
>>38, sounds like you got a good chance with her. I like the fact that you "took control".
Well I suppose it’s about time to make another report. This has been a rather average week with one truly good day. I guess I’ll start with the basic stuff. First on the list of small changes is that I have just recently discovered that I like tea, a lot. As far as character traits go I think it’s a rather good one. I’m going to have to look into the subject more as I don’t think there are many 21 year old men who like to drink tea over coffee. Second I have started paying more attention to my hygiene. I have never been dirty mind you, but I have fallen into that subpar state that often afflicts college students. I have also started organizing the files on my computer. It’s chalked full of images that I will never need and I feel that getting my computer organized is just as important as my room.
Now for the Good stuff. I had class again today with Phones. I decided to take a risk and start sitting next to her. I was worried that this could freak her out a bit but she took it well. We spent the class talking and joking and it went rather well. At the end of the class we walked together to the parking lot. Before we parted I confirmed I had her name right and she told me to just use the shortened version. I still don’t know if she has a boy friend but who knows, maybe I’m lucky. To be honest I’m a little apprehensive about this. To start off I had no intention of becoming interested in someone beyond friendship this semester, I wanted to develop myself more before returning to the battle field. Second because if I fuck this up I think I’ll be missing out on something good. I still have a lot to learn about her but I like what I see so far. To be honest I don’t know how to accurately describe her. It’s very different from attractions I’ve felt before. It’s not a blind head over heels “nice guy” infatuation. It’s more like a sense of potential, like if the situation was right this could be something good. Well either way it’s something new and I want to see where it goes. I’ll have to act sooner than later to stop from getting Friendzoned here. For now I’ll just play it cool and see what happens.
Subject No. 10
Sex: Male
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual/Involuntary celibate
Age: 26
Nationality: American (at least that's what it says on my passport)
Education: BA Communications
Work: Yes - freelance, currently seeking more regular work
Income: Negligible I make approximately $8/hr when you break it down. Work is not on a consistent schedule, so monthly income varies.
Living Situation: Parents
Knows How to Drive and Owns a Car: Yes but do not own, use parents'
On Computer: approx. 6 hrs/day
Weight: about 126
Smoke: No
Drink: Social drinker, rarely and reluctantly
Drugs: No
Virgin: Yes
Physical Experience: Hugs, long hugs, been pecked before, but nothing romantic or affectionate, so I've never kissed a woman in a romantic fashion
Style: casual - music related apparel, witty shirts, polos, plaids, I'd like to give my wardrobe an update, but lack the funds. I especially like layers, but lack enough top layer shirts to pull this off often.
Friends: 1 really good friend, but she lives far from me. However, we do hang out from time to time. 1 friend close by, but real life prevents us from hanging out very often, 1 friend from my town that moved away and haven't heard from since.
Activities: currently taking Chinese class, 1st year, so don't expect much
Skills: writer, poet, lyricist, guitar, media, photographer, somewhat computer and tech savvy compared to the average person, singer, able to notice the subtext in mass media
Extras: My father is a compulsive hoarder. It has consumed our lives. Ask me if you want more specific details on this and maybe I will oblige. For an idea, just do a search on it. It affects every moment of my life. Needless to say, I come from a dysfunctional family. I shoulder a lot of the burden of responsibility. I have no concept of family. Love is a strange emotion to me that I have extreme difficulty expressing and receiving. Pretty much everything I have learned about love has been from two sources: the media and other people, one really bad source and another that can be.
I'm that typical "hopeless romantic" that's been brainwashed into thinking all those romantic gestures you see on TV and in movies actually work in real life. They don't, they just make you look like a creepy/needy/desperate stalker, because those are the types of people that write these stories. I've paid a heavy price for my idealistic, foolish, and naive outlook on romance. Despite my inexperience, I know that I can charm the pants off a woman once they've let me into their life. I basically did this once with someone over the net, but there was no physical attraction when we met. It's just the initial hurdle I trip on and fall flat on my face over every time. I'm not good with first impressions, essentially.
I am convinced my mother raised me to be a girl, as she wanted one, and my father was almost absent from my life, even though he lives here. I never had a male figure to look up to growing up.
I am a social drinker, because I have an embarrassing reaction to alcohol due to me lacking the enzyme that breaks it down. This reaction makes the impact of alcohol much more intense than the average drinker, and also much worse for my health than the average person. Plus, it's only fun till I start sobering up. Then I get extremely depressed.
I suffer from clinical depression, and so do both of my parents, but I'm the only one that tries to do anything about my problem. They do nothing about theirs. However, I come up short due to lack of money, willpower, etc. I refuse to take meds for it, too many side effects. I will overcome this through therapy, when I can afford it. I had been going to therapy when I was in school, but that obviously stopped when I graduated. I have been unable to get a job that puts my education to use where it belongs, due to the economy, my major, and not knowing what I wanted to do till I was almost done with school, thus not properly preparing for my career choice of television and film production.
Continued
My faults include no self-esteem, self-sabotaging, severe shyness, overthinking, paranoia, depression, comparing myself to everyone else and holding myself to impossibly high standards, extreme pessimism, and lack of trust. I am an extremely cynical bastard about many things, but I'm also a naive, foolish idealist at the same time about lots of others. I am a defeatist. I expect the unfavorable outcome almost every time. This can range from not getting excited over things I should to remaining silent when I should speak up to doubting my own and often correct conclusions and/or second-guessing my right and appropriate actions. This is how I self-sabotage myself.
I have been hurt many times when it comes to pursuing women. This has greatly contributed to my distrust of them. I also have control issues with women, as in I cannot stand being attempted to be controlled 100% and won't tolerate it. There are many things I can resolve logically but not emotionally, such as my distrust of women or overthinking. I also have a guilty conscience. I don't think of myself enough, but can have a selfish streak once in a while. I have trouble accepting random acts of kindness. I see most things in a very extreme way. There is very little gray area with me. This type of thinking also contributes to many of the issues I have already listed.
At my age, I feel like a failure professionally, personally, romantically, financially, and so on.
On the upside, I have a strong sense of morals and ethics. I am very loyal and trustworthy, kind and caring. I'd like to think I respect women. I can be a typical guy about things, but for the most part, I'd put my behavior at closer to ambiguously gendered on the continuum, because I enjoy things or possess personality traits that the majority of straight males associate with unmanliness such as singing, dancing, theatre or sensitivity. Although, women love a guy that can dance. I can be quite creative and make people laugh with my brand of sarcastic and random sense of humor.
I'm the guy from <a href="http://4-ch.net/love/kareha.pl/1252361702/">this thread. Right now I'm looking for a better job. If I have a better job, I can make some money, as well as get out of the house, and feel better about myself in some capacity, so then I can straighten up my personal living environment. I really let things go since I graduated. I already attempted to clean, but I was dragged away on a family "vacation" and lost the motivation once we returned. If I get benefits, then I can resume therapy, where I will hold nothing back this time. All other times I have held back my living situation. I'm also trying and hoping things will work out with the girl I'm pursuing currently. There will be no more assuming things. I will let go and make myself trust my feelings this time and not allow my insecurities to ruin a good thing before it even has a chance to get off the ground. I have never been so fascinated with a woman before. I still feel good about her. I will provide updates on all aspects of my life I've highlighted here. The link to the thread is just so you can get some background on one, if you feel like it.
Stats
Subject No.11
Sex: Male
Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual
Age: 20
Nationality: American. Heritage is Native American
Education: Junior College. Planning to transfer to Cal Poly Pomona for Computer Engineering
Work: Part Time
Income: Varies. Rougly $250-$300 a month.
Living Situation: Parents
Knows How to Drive and Owns a Car: Yes, I own a 1989 Mazda MX6
On Computer: Depends on schedule. I'd say 3 hours average though.
Weight: ~125
Smoke: On occasion
Drink: No
Drugs: No
Virgin: No
Physical Experience: I've had sex only with my current girlfriend.
Style: None, really. Shirt and pants. Although I enjoy wearing a long sleeve during the summer as well as the winter.
Friends: I consider a few co-workers to be good friends. Another one goes to West Point but I haven't seen him in 2 years.
Activities: Besides school, I enjoy being with my girlfriend, spending time with my old man riding dirt bikes, on the PC when I get the chance, and working on my car. I also enjoy the history of molecular physics and astronomy.
Skills: I can down-shift quite well on my bike. I know how an F2T operates and I can tell you what the Higgs Boson is.
Extras/My Story: I've been lurking here for some time and this is the first time I've posted. I can relate to all of you guys and gal here. I never had a serious relationship, nor even kissed or hugged a girl since I've met my girlfriend. I met her at work (I work at GameStop) and she's the best thing that I have in my life. I was always nervous around girls and couldn't ever really muster the will to ask a girl out or even to do something. I've been working with, lets call her Rai Chi, her Chinese name, for around 2 and a half years. After talking to her and getting to know her for about a year, one day, I just asked her. Though it was in a form of a text.
I'm in no position to give advice as I feel I'm not experienced enough to give it out, but sometimes, you just gotta let your heart out. Go for it and you'll be surprised of how much you can achieve, be it asking that special someone or something else. We've been together for almost a year and yes, we've had ups and downs, but we work through it. “Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.”
Life has been well to me and although I've had downs, I've sure as hell had way more ups. I always remember that “You drown not by falling into a river, but by staying submerged in it.”
So I went to an event at the school with my friend. Since I couldn't get through to her when I called, I asked my friend to call, but she got no answer either. We went to get a bite to eat in the dining hall and my friend got up and ran into her and told her to say hi to me, so I saw her, but only for five minutes.
It was worth it. I wasn't expecting it at all. I was kind of clumsy and nervous in front of her, but she didn't seem to mind. I expressed a little concern for her, and she did admit she was kind of hiding. She had a lot of Facebook messages waiting for her from people. I was a little down and lying when she asked me how I was doing, and she mocked me for this, but it seemed to be in an affectionate/just kidding kind of way, so I told her I was looking for a better job and why. I spilled my drink, and was kind of compulsive about cleaning it up, she made an observation related to this, that I might be a little OCD, to which I denied, then sort of admitted, but I made sure I was paying attention to her. She was going somewhere, so she didn't stay for long. I asked her when I could see her again. She told me to let her know whenever I was around.
My friend told me she's in a show. I guess she forgot to tell me about this, so I'll have to find out when it is straight from the source so I can see her again. There is also a costume ball coming up. Maybe I can get her to go to that.
I also received a message from her this week. Let's just call her M, cause that's how I refer to her in my own thread. In it, she admitted to being distant again, but she also admits not liking it herself. She says she's been busy with school and involved in some drama and thanks me for offering support, saying it was sweet of me.
That day, I did some cleaning, very little, but it was something and a minor cosmetic difference. I guess the message put me in a good enough mood. I haven't done any since.
I also discovered I need to start guitar all over again from the very beginning, because my technique is horrible. I found some great videos by an instructor. Lessons would've avoided this but couldn't afford them.
Yesterday, I wrote a response to M but didn't send it out till today. I complimented her hair, cause I forgot to do this in person. She dyed it and cut it. It looks good.
I advised her not to let the drama consume her and asked her what she does to unwind. I also asked if she's taking a lot of credits, trying to keep a conversation going here. Then I explained spilling the drink wasn't a big deal, mostly cause she was there.
I noticed updated her pic, and she put another color in her, so I complimented her on this. I mentioned I might be around again soon cause of the costume ball and ended saying I hope we would see each other again soon.
Hay No. 10 and No.11, its good to have you with us.
Its once again time for another weekly update. Most of the week has been completely boring. In fact if it weren't for today there really wouldn't be anything worth posting. I had class with Phones again. We spent most of the class talking about our class work. We still had a good bit of fun and there were smiles and laughs not much different from last time. I'm trying real hard not do do this like i want to be her friend, but part of having no experience is not having a good idea of what counts as flirting and what counts as friendly banter. I did make one small step forward in the way i interact with her, I touched her for the first time. One thing that I have been hearing a lot is that if you want a girl to see you as a potential partner then you have to touch her. It was only a touch on her arm and shoulder couple of times but it was still a big step for me as I've never had the initiative to just touch a girl when i wanted to. After class I asked her to go to DC with me to check out art museums. Unfortunately she works weekends and declined. On the upside she was not put off by the invitation. I think I'll Invite her to do something smaller next week. I fell kind of stupid for not asking for her number though.
As far as improving my self goes I have two points Ive decided to work on. First GET A JOB. I cant take a girl out if i don't have money. Second I took a look around my room, and the otaku factor is way to high for my taste. I don't have to loose everything but cutting back on the "Manga Library" would be a good idea.
>>45
No. 00
It's good to work while you're in college, but beware, your grades will most likely suffer. It is essential though to avoid the quarter-life crisis. I would recommend not just getting any job though. School is important. When you're not in school though, you should be working to build your network and skills in the real world, but you need to be working jobs related to your studies or this most likely won't do you much, so intern if you have to, work for nothing, just stay busy between semesters doing something productive. Sitting around ended when you graduated high school. Yeah, you can take the last month off if you worked all summer, but that's just about it. Don't kill yourself. Life loses meaning if you become a slave.
Also, I don't think you have to sell your manga and anime, just don't buy anymore or drastically minimize purchases. Should you ever be in a financial bind and need the money, then you could sell it off. It's an investment to a certain degree now.
Remember to ask for Phones' number next time. If you've established a friendly rapport, this is the next step. I think things have been going well so far, but what do I know? I have no experience! I do tend to have insight into other people's relationship/romantic issues though for some reason, just not my own.
Looking forward to your next update.
My reason for wanting the job is not just to have money to spend but also because my family needs it. I live with my mom and shes been out of work for 2 years so I kind of need to help out.
Also I don't plan to sell my anime or manga. I'd like to think that I'm rather well adjusted for an otaku but I still love my collection. I just plan to put things away in the basement.
And thanks for the supporting words. I think I'm doing better than usual but I still have a long road ahead and I can't sit back just yet. I'd really like to find a way to spend more time with her outside of class. As I only see her for 4 hrs once a week it makes progress slow and I'd like to learn more about who she is.
>>47
That is unfortunate that the family needs the extra cash, but you do what you have to, right? Still, remember what I said for work between semesters at least. It won't be easy but it will pay off when you graduate and have a decent job that puts your skills/education to use instead of sitting at home, feel like your life is going nowhere. Of course, there's no guarantee you will, but you chances will increase dramatically. I know this commodifies everyone, but make connections WHEREVER you can with WHOEVER you can, because it's not only important who you know, but who THEY know as well, because if your connections don't know anyone, they're not much good now, are they? Most degrees of separation are greater than 1 but less than 5. I know this is extremely difficult for us introverts, but basically the mantra is network or perish. This applies to all fields, of course. I'm not sure if any one more than the other, however.
Also, start paying off your loans once you get a job. You'll save on interest this way. I only began paying off mine because I was going to default. And I have no steady income, so my account is shrinking. My family could use the extra money too, but my priority is myself now. They are helpless as far as I'm concerned. I can't do anything for them until I fix my life.
Yes, spending time with Phones is important, but do not lose patience. I'm in a rather similar situation. And no, you cannot grow too complacent, but you seem to be aware of this.
I suppose putting your anime and manga out of sight is good, but it is kind of hiding who you are. Maybe leave a piece or two out, then it's kind of like you're borrowing from your own personal library but still acknowledging your interest. That's your call though.
Good luck.