>>12
Being blunt, as you put it, is because there is nothing more to be said, why expand on it when it can be said so simply?

...

What you are experiencing is far from special, it is banal even, everyone experiences it and the only useful advice is for you to move on. She is not special, you are not special, life continues, there is no need to examine things this excessively, it is self-destructive even.

For the love of god stop thinking about your feelings unless you are actually looking to avoid living your life.

What I strongly suspect you are doing, and I expect you probably know this yourself to some extent, is distracting yourself from serious emotional and personal problems with the idea of love and romance. There is no wonder it is not working out for you, it's like attempting to fix a leaking pipe with a band-aid.

You have poor self-esteem and are obviously very self-conscious and your posts suggest some major emotional problems. I suggest you work on those issues before you even consider burdening someone else with your problems. In other words, no girlfriend until you are happy, healthy, confident and living life.