[Advice] Approaching Someone Quiet [Howto] (25)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-10-20 14:20 ID:Dzo+VyHH

So, I recently started professional school. There is a girl in my class that I am interested in getting to know better, but being unpracticed at these things, I am stumped as to how to initiate conversations naturally, given that we sit on opposite sides of a large lecture hall, don't park in the same lot, etc. We are facebook friends, and her interests seem to match very well with my own. However, she is pretty quiet from what I can tell. And, well, I'm a significant bit older than her (30 vs 21 or 22). So I suppose my question is: given that arranging a coincidental "oh, hey, _________, how's it going? What did you think about that last test?" seems unlikely, is it really alright to be (somewhat) blunt with someone who doesn't seem that experienced? Don't want to come off as a creepy old man ('___' )

(In case you didn't notice I am not experienced either.)

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-10-20 14:46 ID:bZQTR2Fz

You are facebook friends? I would check to see when she's online, bite the bullet and just send her a "Hi :)" through chat.

As cliché as this will sound, what is the worst that can happen? Hope to hear more from you.

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-10-20 15:05 ID:Dzo+VyHH

Thanks for the response, >>2. As cheesy as it sounds, it's nice to know someone is interested.

As far as 'worst that could happen', admittedly not much. She doesn't seem like the type to be needlessly cruel or derisive. And I suppose you never progress if you aren't willing to take risks. Will try it as soon as applicable and report results.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-10-20 15:47 ID:g/vjErFn

I agree with >>2, there's no way you can pass your contact as "accidental", so you might as well be more frank and relaxed. Use your shared interests and college life as fodder for conversation.

We'll be rooting for you, OldMan!

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-10-21 14:28 ID:WbEyj8JH

just tell her something.
because she doesnt know.
she is so pretty.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-10-21 17:05 ID:bZQTR2Fz

OldMan, how's it going? If nothing has happened, desribe yourself and her more. I check this thread too much (._.)

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-10-21 20:23 ID:Erj2g90V

Nothing happening yet. Seems like she doesn't use the Farcebook all that much.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-10-21 22:01 ID:bZQTR2Fz

Aw godamn. For some reason I am genuinely intrigued.

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-10-22 16:01 ID:NneLuaup

Well, if she's not using FB, then use other means. There's no point waiting around for "something" to happen.

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-10-23 07:52 ID:b4na8B9L

Hey, OP, I have little to no advice to give and I'm not all that great at this stuff, either, but I want you to know that I'm rooting for you! (I'd call you OldMan, but you're not old and you're really not too old for her/much older than her, so I won't). Great luck and keep us posted!

Oh, and hey, you guys sit at opposite ends of the hall, but can you sit closer to her or is it assigned seating? What about meal time? Hang outs? Dorm proximity? <._.>

Best of luuuuuuuuck!

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-10-23 21:09 ID:2pe+OP3E

>>10 of course he's not really old, we're just taunting his insecurities in a friendly way, isn't it OldMan?

What I don't get is how OldMan managed to become FB "friends" with the lady in question. One would think that if they're "friends", then there should already be some channel of communication, unless all students are "friends"?

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-10-24 07:38 ID:hoSmEmTA

If you're intelligent, self-possessed and (even mildly) attractive, you'll be given a chance at nearly any middle-age.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-10-24 12:07 ID:Dzo+VyHH


Well, as I mentioned we all recently started at this school, and we've all pretty much friended each other (all ~120 of us). Aw man I finally crossed that last barrier and became a FB stalker, haha... (; °Д°)


We are a few months into the term, so no 'official' seating, but people have the seats they are accustomed to by now. Plus, it would seem awkward to move entirely across the room all of a sudden and be all "hay". Heh

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-10-24 12:29 ID:hoSmEmTA

Catch her after class. Ask her out to coffee or tea. Every girl likes coffee and/or tea.

Just think -- you're yet another lucky textboard denizen granted with the chance us lonely users only dream of! And we're all cheering for you! Don't waste this or you'll let us down too!

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-10-24 19:21 ID:bZQTR2Fz

OldMan, you have her Facebook, then you're open to a wealth of information about her. Look at her interests, see if anything is going on nearby and be like "Hye I see you like X, well theres an event going on related to that here, would you like to come with me?"

I was lucky to meet a good girl at University, but that's only because we were seated next to each other on the first day, and I'm glad of that. If we weren't I might not have had that three year relationship, so fate, thanks. I posted about it here and people jsut told me to go for it, so that's what I'm doing to you.

I'm just saying that because this is probably the best time for you to meet someone, so if you think there is even the slightest chance, go for it. I'd never asked a girl out, not even for coffee or whatever before I met University girl, but something about her made me force myself to just say "hey, do you want to come and explore the town with me".

You can do it man. Sorry for derailing, I just wanted to give you courage.

16 Name: OldMan : 2011-10-26 17:21 ID:lFfJcq1s

Thanks everyone for your support. I haven't abandoned this thread yet!

Turns out we are both volunteering at an event this weekend. So, hopefully we'll get to talk some then.

17 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-10-26 19:45 ID:bZQTR2Fz

OldMan, I am proud. I look forward to your success!

18 Name: OldMan : 2011-10-27 03:17 ID:lFfJcq1s

We were assigned to different locations!


19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-11-08 18:32 ID:bZQTR2Fz

Oldman, why no updates? I AM DISAPPOINT

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2011-12-11 00:05 ID:PIEcF2AC

Sounds to me like you have a case of the fafrotskies!

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-01-06 08:50 ID:sZl0SuoH

how was it? no field report yet??
its 2012, where are you?

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2012-03-08 21:46 ID:bZQTR2Fz

He got her.

He did it. That is why he does not return.

23 Name: nao : 2012-03-17 17:20 ID:AjG68c5v

24 Name: nice woman : 2012-03-18 21:01 ID:4D16YyWH

25 Name: OldMan : 2012-08-18 13:44 ID:+5+/cst4

Hello everyone. It's been a long time! Just wanted to give you a quick update.

Well, I didn't get the girl. Despite all of your encouragement, I never had the nerve to just go up and make it happen. I'm sorry for that.


I did wind up meeting someone else, very recently! It's only been a little over a week, but things are going very well. Sometimes you find your path, sometimes your path finds you.

So, that's what's happening.

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