Well.. I've got this idea of a manga... it is likely based on those emotional roller coasters like Clannad and Kanon...
Before I start.. I myself am not good at expanding stories but I can do such plots that I think would be interesting...
Characters:
... any other characters aren't that vital so inclusion of their names would just waste the space. So here we go..
Basically I envision this as a non typical, harem, tragedy love story with some comical reliefs. The story revolves around Keitaro who just got admitted in highschool after being adopted by her only family her aunt with her 1st cousin. As for Keitaro, he is shy, reserved and unsociable upon entering school. Growing up alone he decided to rely on his own strength to protect himself so he studied swordfighting unorthodoxly. another of his special trait would be his ability to copy others almost instantaneously and perfectly may it be their sport or form in kendo. The story starts of with Keitaro transfering and meeting Katsura, his sempai and getting to know her on a typical start of the semester. Also, he meets up with his classmate Ayame who encourages him to join the kendo club to improve his self confidence and gain some friends. Well, it implies that both the female protagonists fell in love with him at first sight and develops all through out the story. (TBC)
Basically the love plot of the story goes like this...
Ayame and Katsura falls in love with Keitaro but Keitaro is indecisive with his decisions for there are still supporting female characters that compete for his affection (another sempai, a classmate and his 1st cosuin). Ayame would be the one to confess her love to Keitaro but due to Keitaro's indecisive nature, and the way he feels for the two main girls, he says that he loves them both equally. This would hurt Ayame and would cause her to ignore and prevent her feelings to develop any further for Keitaro. She then seeks another person, her sempai as her diversional outlet for love. Knowing this, broke Keitaro's heart and decides to confide to Katsura, his sempai and also love interest. A rebound effect would happen and they would become a couple. But the first tragedy would strike. Katsura has a degenerative condition that would take her life before their monthsary. Her death would leave Keitaro in shock and engage in fist fights literally self destructing. When Keitaro would hurt himself after all those fighting just to relieve the pain, he would be under the care of his 1st cousin who also vies for his affection. As for traditionary customs in Japan, it is in their tradition that marriages between first cousins are allowed so a relationship would definitely blossom. Things would look good even for a while as they enjoy themeselves and Keitaro would go back to school looking forward to spend it with his first cousin (BTW, her name is Nayuki). But then again, a certain event would take Nayuki's life (a car accident maybe) that would then again ruin his life of happiness. This would again torment Keitaro and would rather cling to no one this time. As a defense mechanism, he becomes a shell of himself and just copies personalities of others to mask his extreme sadness. On the other hand, Ayame who devotes herself to her sempai juts to mask the pain she have from her confession with Keitaro would start to develop her feelings once again for Keitaro and true enough, her Sempai, eventhough loves her that much breaks up with her and told her to be with the one she truly loves and stop using him as an excuse for her unrequited love. So in the end, Keitaro ends up with Ayame when they are seniors of their school. Keitaro apologizes for being indecisive and cries confessing his love for Ayame and Ayame told the same in return.
So that would be it... i would be happy if someone comments on it for it is my first time to conceptualize such ideas. thanks, and btw i'm not japanese but I atleast enjoy watching love story anime that inspired me to create this story.
-P3, YA-HA!!
BTw, i would be happy if anyone would adopt this idea of mine... i don't want any credit for it but seeing it made into a manga by others would make me contented. :)
> non typical
If you're basing it upon other stories and you know it, in no way is your plot 'non-typical' (note the hyphen; "nontypical" is also an accepted spelling.) Just by glancing over it, I can tell you that the essence of your story was done years ago in a related medium by the erotic game (later adapted into an anime) "Kimi ga Nozomu Eien"- only it settled for milking the tragic twist once instead of twice.
> some comical reliefs
The term is "comic relief." The word "comical," as an adjective meaning "relating to comedy," is obsolete and has been replaced by the related word "comic." Comical now describes specific characters or occurances that inspire amusement. If your meaning was that the plot developments provide such relief they inspire readers to laugh out loud, your altered phrase may be apt, but I have doubts.
> Keitaro who just got admitted in highschool after being adopted by her only family her aunt with her 1st cousin.
I thought you said that Keitaro was male. Anyway, high school is a rather late age for adoption. What caused this turn of events? Did she live in an orphanage previously, or with other foster parents?
> Growing up alone he decided to rely on his own strength to protect himself so he studied swordfighting unorthodoxly, another of his special trait would be his ability to copy others almost instantaneously and perfectly may it be their sport or form in kendo.
Nobody "grows up alone" in a first-world country. Put some thought into the aforementioned question. What is unorthodox (the word is not typically used as an adverb) about her study of swordfighting? What grants her this unparalleled talent for imitation, and why has she not applied to other situations, such as social ones?
> sempai
This is not an English word and perfectly serviceable translations, such as "upperclassman", exist. Why did you use it?
> Well, it implies that both the female protagonists fell in love with him at first sight
If Keitaro was "shy, reserved and unsociable" why would anyone fall in love with her at first sight? Do they have a fetish for wallflowers?
> Katsura has a degenerative condition that would take her life before their monthsary.
"Monthsary," although a locution that has inarguably seen use, is not in any reputable dictionary. I would advise against using it.
Moreover, you seem not to understand what a "degenerative condition" entails. It implies a slow decline in health over months or years, common examples being cancer and Alzheimer's disease. If Katsura's condition is indeed "degenerative," she would almost certainly be visibly in ill health, and unable to attend school or form a relationship with Keitaro a mere month before expiring; she would also be exhibiting borderline sociopathic behavior not to inform him of her condition and limited life expectancy.
> literally self destructing.
What is literal about it? Are you implying that she spontaneously combust? This seems at odds with the ongoing description of Keitaro as alive and well.
> traditionary
While this is a word, it has not been in common use since the 19th century. I doubt it is the one you meant to use.
> But then again, a certain event would take Nayuki's life (a car accident maybe)
As I mentioned previously, this is exactly the same tragic event as occurs in "Kimi ga Nozomu Eien." While you may not have been aware of that, your plot is nonetheless unoriginal. Moreover, suddenly killing off two love interests through two unlikely turns of fate is putting your readers' suspension of disbelief through a harsh trial. Is this the only way you can think of to create dramatic tension?
> As a defense mechanism, he becomes a shell of himself and just copies personalities of others to mask his extreme sadness.
Why did she not do this earlier when she was unsociable?
> and btw i'm not japanese
That is obvious. Out of curiosity, is English your native language?
In summary, take a writing class.
wow dude.. well sorry about it, Keitaro is a boy. sorry for mistyping it.. Im quite new in writing this stuff. actually, I have not written anything before, but I do love anime and its plots. I never knew that such plot already existed, honestly. And thank you really for your comments, they are really useful. as of now, I would be happy if you can teach me a lot about writing. Thanks, hope to get in touch.
I agree with 7 , :)