So much free time and the desire to change myself had made me start a plan to change from geek to a cool boy/heartbraker.
I am the normal computer guy that also like manga and video games, recently that changed a bit and I decided that would be so interesting if I try to experiment a change in myself.
My female friends said that I'm good looking and good to talk boy, but they aren't from the same country that me, apart from them almost no one think the same, so I started thinking in changing my way of dress, way of interact with people and other things, enough to make the change happen.
I have some sense of style, so started buying new clothes to change my way of dress. Also I will start going to the gym the next month to change my geek body for a more desirable one.
That part is more or less covered, but I need help in the social interacting part. I'm a very shy boy, and don't know what to talk about when I'm with strange people. The lastest digg new? The new anime of the season? People isn't interested in that kind of things usually. So, how should I approach to people and interact with them?
The target is be a geek only in home, and a cool boy outside with people and good company for girls.
I know I can, only need a bit of help and advices. Please, help me 4-ch!
4ch really, really isn't the place to seek such advice.
sup densha
Well, if your main interests are "geeky things" how much should you pretend to be interested in X, or Y, or whatever it is that popular "cool" people talk about? Besides, I thought "geek" was "cool" now. So long as you don't go overboard, and find ways to interface with the other people's interests and not just your own, you should be fine.
I think a true "geek" is defined as someone who is so obsessed with one or two things that they have trouble having a normal conversation with people of differing interests. So finding things to talk about is probably as easy (or difficult) as broadening your field of interest, while still being yourself. Read a newspaper or something. There's plenty of stuff to talk about in there.
It all depends on who you hang out with, you need to learn to gauge the other people's interests and respond accordingly, without getting bored yourself.
honestly, everything else will be in vain if you can't play the role. personality is the hardest part to change, and it is the biggest stumbling block of all. you will have to focus nearly all of your efforts in this area.
>>6
+even then, odds are slim of you pulling it off.
Should he really try to alter his "personality"? Can one even do that? I suggested he broaden his interests.
>>1
Next time you level up, dump your stat points in charisma
Be yourself.
You can work on your body, try to act like a retard/cool boy, change your clothes and what ?
You'll meet girls that don't suit you.
Don't you prefer a nice shy girl than a sluttish big mouth ?
And more, what to do after ? You'll lie the rest of your life just to touch girls once in a month ?
No, your real problem is that you are not confident with what you look like now. Advice : find a little job this summer. This way you'll see what you can do, get some muscle, have contact with reality and win money.
>My female friends said that I'm good looking and good to talk boy, but they aren't from the same country that me..
Everyone says that online..
in a way, yes. think of it more as developing the personality, though. OP paints a picture of himself without many social skills.. to go from nothing in that arena to being social, attractive (personality-wise), outgoing, witty... this is more of a challenge than any workout or makeover.
people are too idealistic about "being yourself." you don't have to change who you are, but if you don't change the way you act, especially around other people, you will never progress. it's rarely your clothes or interests that keep people at a distance, even if that's easier to believe.
>>5 I know that I should broad my interests, and I'm working on that, reading books of authors I don't usually read, looking non geek sites, and I started learning to play some musical instruments. Any other idea?
>>6 I don't want to change my entire personality, only somethings like my way of interact with other people.
>>10 LOL
>>11 Being myself isn't enough, I said I has changed a bit my way of dress and I'm working on my body, not only to look good, but because is good for me. Right now I will not meet almost any girl, so better if I meet some ones, if they are slut or anything we can be friends anyway, I'm not specifically searching a girlfriend.
>>12 Yes, but not after eight years of friendship with some of them.
>>13 That is, develop my personality and my social skills. I know it will be hard but I'm working on it.
your drive and motivation is admirable. all i can say is try to hold on to that, because this will be like learning how to walk- you've got a lot of falling down to do.
Yeah, generally you're only a loser if you think you're a loser.
You should leave the internet and never return for anything other than porn. The majority of people I know don't use the internet for serious communication outside of work. Looking at less geeky internet sites isn't going to help you, the fact that you're spending so much of your time sitting alone in your room looking at internet sites (regardless of what is one them) is the problem. Take up a sociable hobby, even if it's something like chess. Talking to people in real time is a lot harder than over the internet as I'm sure you've worked out by now, and even if the people you're talking to are all chess fanatics they'll probably have a hell of a lot more social skills than the average heavy internet user.
As for the people who are on the internet you have to take into account the reason why they came to the internet to look for friends in the first place, instead of making friends with the people they see in real life everyday. Basically if your friends online have told you that you are a good talker, good looking etc., that doesn't necessarily mean you will be considered as such by the majority of the population who lives outside the network of tubes.
Basically it is retarded to ask people who spend lots of time on the internet how to act like a person spends very little time on the internet. Which is what >>2 said and I've really just wasted a lot of time.
>Yes, but not after eight years of friendship with some of them.
It's even harder to tell good friends that they're ugly.
Protip: Listen to >>19
Also, if you find you're clamming up in a conversation, use my tactic and direct the attention on to them. Ask them the questions, appear interested, add side commentary, sit back and let them do work. You'll be surprised at how much people like talking about themselves. Plus girls dig good listeners ;)
I'm kinda like the OP, and I have the same objective he has.
>Should he really try to alter his "personality"? Can one even do that?
I think it's very possible, that is, if you're good at self-observation, have a good social & circumstantial awareness and if you like to analyze things.
"be yourself.." is just a lame excuse.
don't try to be yourself... find another of yourself deep within the void in you. look into a dark side of you and you will find a different you. close your eyes call it forward and pretend it is your normal self. then start with your closest girl friend. piss her off so much that she would like you instead of hating you. (depending on your talents in annoying someone... before you could ever get a good result). and if you fail on this, try it again to other girls closest to you.
losing track of the number of trials and number of girls you tried being annoying, hey... you are getting closer to what you desire, you might just have adapted the new personality. then go on to the next level. have a relationship without ever thinking about "ideals!", about meaning of love... that is, just a relationship and idea where you could "boast" to anyone you have a hot girlfriend. gradually you will adapt to a new you. "can you go back to you old self..?" yes of course, just be yourself. and your back to the loner boy. but you will never ever lose that devil you have made. it would always be there if you need it again
by the way, this process would end up a shortage in test subjects (girls)... this is where the challenge begins, because you need to be acquainted with much girls and attract their attention to be somehow close to you, just for the purpose of having them as test subjects.
and... basically, if you ever think of them as test subjects then you will fail into the idiocy part. hell, why would anyone think that this is just a game? playing with people's attention and emotion. the secret to this is adaptation as what i have said. internalize that the devil you are creating is real and not just a fraud of you. don't think, feel it, enjoy the taste... you have to breathe life to it before you could ever awake the devil in you.
these don't take months by the way. it consume several years for adapting a new personality. i dunno why, it still hard to understand human psyche. the only idea i did have is creating an environment where you can adapt yourself into. to make a devil, you have to make a rough environment and painful situations, this also include gambling your sanity... if you know what i mean here.
so, are you still up to the heart-breaker type?!
or you just want to be a lover boy...
i made you a recipe... and its up to you to understand it Lid.
by the way... if you are good looking, you won't have a hard time in the challenging part.
but if you are not, you need to have a make-over first. new hair... clean outfit... parfums and colognes... white teeth... if you are up to it just let us know.
ps
shyboy shy boy... hey that's gonna be a tough make-over.
wow your trying to get advice on how to be cool on forum where 99% of the population are hopeless losers
>My female friends said that I'm good looking
>and good to talk boy, but they aren't from
>the same country that me
PROTIP: they aren't female
What I found to be a good social hobby was learning Japanese. It's the perfect hobby for someone obsessed about either manga or anime, and it forces you to actually communicate with people, even if it's only during class time. Also, schools will typically encourage language exchanges, which is often a good way to get practice with conversation in general, as well as conversation in other languages.