I'm no psych student or anything, but this is what I'm getting so far:

You are afraid of imperfection. I think this is probably the big thing. You see yourself as worthless because you are not perfect, and hide from the world and people because they are not perfect. The world of anime and manga is much more magical, so you are drawn to this rather than the perfect world.

In addition, you finds it difficult to reach a decision on how to live in this imperfect world because all your guidebooks are based on the fantasy world, and the real world is far too open-ended you to make easy decisions. You can't make a decision on what to do in life, because in choosing one thing, you feel like you're giving up on other things. Moreover, you feel that whatever you choose, you will not be good enough at it to warrant the energy spent in the process of learning how to do it in the first place.

When we grow up, we are always told to "do our best". I think many people nowadays are misunderstanding this to be "be the best". I don't think it matters if you are the best in the world at what you do as long as you can enjoy doing it. You say that you don't have any hobbies, but it's obvious that there are things that you likes to do sometimes.

For starters, you like to look at the stars. You could get a telescope and start studying astrology if you wanted. That's a particularly interesting thing to get into because you can learn all about the stories behind the constellations and from there, you might be interested in the cultures that spawned those stories. That's two subjects that might interest you -- astrology and history. They're just small parts of those subjects but they might start you onto really enjoying bigger things related to them.

You mentioned that you've been thinking about programming. As someone who's not that self-motivated who's also trying to teach herself programming, I highly suggest you start by simply learning XHTML. It'll get you into the mindset of programming, even if it isn't a programming language. After that, you might want to start on Perl. That's where I am currently. (^_^)

Another thing you might want to consider is getting out of the habit of typing so casually. If you want to start programming, you'll eventually need to ask for help from other programmers on internet boards. I've noticed that a lot of them won't take you seriously unless you're a nazi for spelling and grammar. Capitalize "I" and always punctuate sentences correctly when talking to these kinds of people. (^_^);;

I still believe that you need to look for the beauty in this imperfect world and the imperfect things in it. All people carry some kind of pain with them. Even the nice girls you see in anime and manga usually have some pain in their past and it hurts them in some way that changes their behavior. Even the kind and gentle Touru from Fruits Basket has to deal with the pain from her mother's death, and she has a lot of anxiety to deal with, even if she doesn't let other people see it. Most girls in real life and people in general let that pain control something about themselves that makes them seem very imperfect to someone seeking perfection, but if you can see through it, I'm sure you can make friends and find people with whom you can share your life. Watch Kino no Tabi. It teaches about how the world is beautiful, even if it is full of pain.

Neon Genesis Evangelion's original TV ending also has a huge message to people who feel inadequate. To paraphrase, "If you think that you were born without the ability to be of use to others, why do you have arms? If you think that you can never find love and will only feel pain, why do you have a heart? If you think that there is no meaning to your existence, why were you born?" I think a person's life is given meaning by the choices they make. As long as you are alive you will continue to make choices, and that is your meaning for living. This is the true meaning of "your life is what you make of it".