If you have a fully functioning body, not even necessarily an athletic one, and enough intelligence to type these things on the internet, how can you say you need to change on the genetic level? What needs to change is your attitude towards the outside world. If you were to honestly open up to yourself, you'd see that just waiting around for an angel is not going to change anything. Rather, try to see all the angels around you. Society might be a big, daunting, evil monster, but there are still kind people around. Instead of looking at THE WORLD, try looking at smaller things. If you just see the suffering of the world on a large scale, of course you'll get discouraged.

Maybe right now no one would notice if you died. Have you noticed that there are a lot of people on this board trying to keep you alive, though? You can't touch us physically, and no one would tell us if you died, but if the internet is a catalyst of society, how can you say there is no angel in your life right now?

Life isn't perfect, like in mangas, but there are still things that make it worth living if you allow yourself to experience them. You have to put out the initiative and find them, though. No one can do that for you. No one can make you believe that you are good enough. That is something you have to discover for yourself. The rush of happiness you feel for the characters in your mangas means that you still have hope, but you're hoping for everything to be done for you. You need to find something you get that rush from actually doing. Even if it's just something like playing video games, that's good enough. You just need to feel something good sometimes.