Hello everyone, I am a tall,shy,african american Otaku who is slighty eccentric male who lives in eastern america. lately for last 4 years i have felt so out of place in my life.In lousisiana everyone hated me, except when i was giveing answers to tests(I only did that to keep from getting beaten up).Thats why im am shy/overly appologetic now because i The guys used to hate me because i did'nt act "black".They said my anime obssesion was just dirty cartoons, because the only anime they knew of was Dragon ball z. Girls at my school told me things like "sorry J#N i need a man that can beat my ass."(matbe my reason for my porn addiction)At homeI was still useful to my mother,and my younger brothers still listened tome In texas I had lots of friends, but now in my new state I feel I only have friends by association, because the guy i follow is outgoing and has a different girlfriend every month.My mothers house looks like shit and my little brothers run amok.My mind seems to slip and i feel like im getting dumber and by the day.And i'm starting to hear voices,the only way to drown them out is with anime or V.games.So can anyone tell me how i get a girlfriend, get my brothers to listen to me and improve my life.
Sorry to be blunt, and don't take this the wrong way, but stop blaming everyone else but yourself. If your mother's house looks like shit, then clean it up. You're a man, you can fix things. I've restored houses for a living when I was 16. It's not difficult. Paint it, clean it, whatever you need to do.
How old are your younger brothers? If they're young enough, you can become an authority figure in their lives. I'm assuming that they have no father-figure. You need to try to fill that void for them. Read parenting books, particularly on controlling behavior. Try to be the best role model you possibly can be. Control your temper, don't smoke, don't drink, and be neat. Take control of them before they run all over you. Take care of your mother. Learn to cook for her and take care of the house. It will give you a good sense of self-worth, and girls are generally attracted to such a show of responsibility.
Stop watching anime. Stop playing videogames. You're not a child anymore, and for the time being, you need to concentrate on getting your life in order. When all is well-and-good again, then you can pick back up your hobbies. Pack them up for now.
What do your "voices" sound like? If you're doing drugs, stop. If they're having conversations, go get therapy. If they're insulting you, "You're worthless!" "No one wants to see you!", that's probably a result of lack of socialization combined with high stress. I've heard of a lot of hikikomori going through it, and went through it myself. It helps if you can spare an hour every day to meditate. If your house is loud, go to a park and do it. Believe me, as you get friends, the voices will fade and disappear. Stressing over it won't help things.
As for your problems in school, I went through something very similar. What you need to do is gain respect. If someone insults you, smile and laugh. Keep in mind that these people are likely pot-smoking idiots who have no idea what the beauty of another culture is. If someone threatens you, look them in the eye and await the beating. Do not fight back. Do not run. Do not cry. Do not give into their demands. Girls are not going to want to be around you if you're fighting students like some sort of crazed animal, or acting like a frightened child by doing everything the "bullies" desire. Try to meet some of the Otaku-type in your school. Every school has them. Keep on the look-out, and don't be too shy to go up and talk to them. If you fail at making a friend out of it, you'll be no worse off than you were before the attempt. An attempt at making a friend can only end neutrally or positively. Remember that.
Good luck.
But I have tried to fix things aroung my house by my brothers always mess it up. and i have otaku friends that i talk to but i think they are are indifferant to me.and the voices are isulting.
As the resident shy, African American, Otaku who is slightly eccentric male, I feel I should respond as well. :p
>Sorry to be blunt, and don't take this the wrong way, but stop blaming everyone else but yourself. If your mother's house looks like shit, then clean it up. You're a man, you can fix things. I've restored houses for a living when I was 16. It's not difficult. Paint it, clean it, whatever you need to do.
>How old are your younger brothers? If they're young enough, you can become an authority figure in their lives. I'm assuming that they have no father-figure. You need to try to fill that void for them. Read parenting books, particularly on controlling behavior. Try to be the best role model you possibly can be. Control your temper, don't smoke, don't drink, and be neat. Take control of them before they run all over you. Take care of your mother. Learn to cook for her and take care of the house. It will give you a good sense of self-worth, and girls are generally attracted to such a show of responsibility.
I agree with all that. I too have younger brothers(among other siblings) and a crazy mother... since my father was busy with work the older siblings pretty much had to take responsibility into their hands. For example, if I saw them up late at night, I would tell them to go to sleep. Etc, etc.
>Stop watching anime. Stop playing videogames. You're not a child anymore, and for the time being, you need to concentrate on getting your life in order. When all is well-and-good again, then you can pick back up your hobbies. Pack them up for now.
A bit unnecessary. Maybe if you're watching a whole lot, tone it down, but I wouldn't say to completely stop. I've found most of my current friends because of anime.
>What do your "voices" sound like? If you're doing drugs, stop. If they're having conversations, go get therapy. If they're insulting you, "You're worthless!" "No one wants to see you!", that's probably a result of lack of socialization combined with high stress. I've heard of a lot of hikikomori going through it, and went through it myself. It helps if you can spare an hour every day to meditate. If your house is loud, go to a park and do it. Believe me, as you get friends, the voices will fade and disappear. Stressing over it won't help things.
I dunno what to say to that. Maybe speak to a counselor or someone who can help you figure things out.
>As for your problems in school, I went through something very similar. What you need to do is gain respect. If someone insults you, smile and laugh. Keep in mind that these people are likely pot-smoking idiots who have no idea what the beauty of another culture is. If someone threatens you, look them in the eye and await the beating. Do not fight back. Do not run. Do not cry. Do not give into their demands. Girls are not going to want to be around you if you're fighting students like some sort of crazed animal, or acting like a frightened child by doing everything the "bullies" desire. Try to meet some of the Otaku-type in your school. Every school has them. Keep on the look-out, and don't be too shy to go up and talk to them. If you fail at making a friend out of it, you'll be no worse off than you were before the attempt. An attempt at making a friend can only end neutrally or positively. Remember that.
If they think you don't act black or insult you, don't hang out with them. like the above poster said, I've always found myself hanging out with the otaku types at school as well. Mainly since I can relate to them.
As for the bullies, I've always taken a passive-aggressive stance towards them. Thus I wouldn't say to "look them in the eye," but rather to just ignore any aggressiveness from them and act like what they say doesn't matter much, or that you don't really understand what they're talking about. Just answer any questions or comments from them nonchalantly. "Do not fight back. Do not run. Do not cry. Do not give into their demands" like the above poster said. If worse comes to worse, there's probably someone you can report them to, and perhaps you could do so in a way to make them look stupid.
Personally, I've never tried to hide my eccentricity, so people have generally left me alone.
>>3 I'm not exactly sure how men are with their friends, but do you ever have conversations about what you're going through with your friends? You say that they're indifferent, but perhaps you're the one who needs to open up to them.
voices? that's not good. get meds before it gets worse (not an insult, is also on meds). maybe get a job and save up to move back to texas. sorry if my advice stinks. :(