I turned 20 last month and I've been at a good university for almost two years now but I'm so goddamn miserable every day. I can't study and spend most of the time in front of my computer just wasting time. I'm on a different continent from my family and a different country than all my friends. It's been almost two full school years (9 months of college a year) but I haven't really made friends and I hate this place more each day. I feel like I can't take this crap anymore but I have at the very least two years of this left and it is driving me crazy. Before college I've never been far from my family (I'm super close to them) and some of my really close friends (I can't live without them). I feel life is so pointless. No idea why I even really bother any more. Going to this college wasn't really my choice. My mom encouraged me to apply to this one and back then I had depression so I kinda didn't take my life together enough to make a good application to the university I wanted to go to.
I feel I've already failed life in so many aspects. I'm 20 and I've never been in a relationship, I'm at a college I hate with no friends. I hate what I'm studying and I'm so goddamn depressed all the time.
I'm not really seeking advice or anything. I mean all people are going to say is something along the lines you need to make a change if you want things to change. I already know that but I can't seem to be able. I guess I'm mostly putting it out there in hopes that writting some of this down will take the weight off my chest or something.
I think you should drop out.
I dropped out of a shitty college where I was miserable all the time and it was the best decision that I ever made.
>>2 That's kinda drastic.
How about transferring schools, OP?
I know for me, when I used to be obsessed with the internet, what I would do was have someone hide the eithernet cord from me until I finished all my work
OP, at least you almost toward your graduation. I am at the same position as yours only I dont socialize, and I only leave house for grocery, school, and con. I still have 4 years to go. I hope I can make it..
>>I'm 20 and I've never been in a relationship, I'm at a college I hate with no friends. I hate what I'm studying and I'm so goddamn depressed all the time.
sounds like me OP, except i'm 21, and by the time i finish college, i'll be 23. not a single relationship in my life, computer engineering for most of the day, then dead time in front of the computer for the rest. this college was forced onto me by my parents, and like you, i havent really made many friends.
...but in spite of it all, i know someday, somehow, everything i want will be mine. i know if i give up now, i'll be fucked later. and i'd never forgive myself, because i had the change.
don't give up OP. you're not alone.
Hm, i am also 21, or better said past 21.
I graduated from high school (with bad degrees) about 2 years ago.
Since then I did nothing, since i never have got any hobbies, dreams (realistic ones).
I have no meaning for my life and i doubt i will find one.
But now, the problem is that my family can't support me anymore, since their gastronomy is running very bad and soon they will have to be on welfare.
It could sound pretty arrogant but i don't want to work in order to keep feeding myself, neither do i want to live in delusions, setup by some do-gooders.
>>2 same, worked like a charm!
except for being sad, im not really the type for that intergalactic waste of time
too many hobbies
College Final week starts today, I dont want to be pesimistic but I just want at least to pass the classes or come up with decent grades. I had study as hard as I can.
i'm like this too. does anybody know how to get back on track and become motivated to do something (anything) again?
>>12
on second thought i should have put a question mark after "again", i'm not really sure if i felt better some time before...
i think the main problem is a too narrow focus, if i do something i really like i feel motivated and can concentrate quite well but everything else just sucks. ;_;
bimp
I know how you feel Im 19 years old and am trying to escape my dreary life here in the States. My family is constantly moving and dragging me along with them. I have no friends where I live now and have only endured thanks to the joys I found in anime and games. I have become a total reclusive otaku as a result. However you should not give up if there is something waiting for you at the end of the road. For me I have the dream of moving far away from the US and becoming a successful person. If you have something that you desire most then keep fighting else you might spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been.
Generally, if you have no friends, it's probably your own fault. If you enjoy living in the past, then don't complain. Otherwise, I don't see why you refuse to do something about your situation, other than the fact that you're lazy/cowardly. And if you are any of those, you're going to have to face it eventually.
Hmmm OP it doesn't sounds like you were happy even when you were home..
I think you are in a deep depression, I recognize everything you have said.
For 1 month ago I almost killed myself with heart medicin.
Im not feeling better even today, but now I at least know that im in a deep depression, maybe your in one 2?
If that might be the case, the only thing left to do is meeting people, go to a club or a bar and get to know new people where you are, go to communitys and check for people in that continent your in and just ask if you can hang with someone or similiar things..
Lonelyness is not the medicine for depressions..
I really hope you will meet people at the place you're in.
Maybe a girl? Or boy? Whatever you like..
BUT:
RULE #1
DO NOT FEEL SORRY FOR YOURSELF!
You are the only one that can do anything about you situation!
Good Luck M8 and take care of yourself!