its no longer a romance issue. was this http://4-ch.net/love/kareha.pl/1213674534/l50
tl;dr: a not-so-serious relationship, but i fell for the girl towards the end, and then she dumped me for an internet relationship, with a guy whos moving in when he gets to town (may be there already) and they had planned to be together for a month behind my back. and she told me. though i suppose i shouldn't have asked.
so now i'm depressed. not the worst depression i've had, but things are different than in the past. i've been on anti depressants on and off since highschool. i stopped taking them around xmass time because being on them was making my tourette syndrom worse(i don't have the cool kind that lets me get away with yelling 'FUCK YOU' to strangers. i have face twitches). then i met a girl, and some new friends. still had quite a bit of anxiety, but never truely depressed.
but now with the breakup, i'm having trouble eating. i've only had 3 meals in the last week and a half, and none of them were a 'complete meal'. more of snacks. food makes me feel really sick. i threw up one of the times i've 'tried' eating.
porn makes me sick too. thinking anything sexual doesn't sit right.
tl;dr of that: i'm depressed and fucked up, but don't want to take anti depressants because it makes another condition i have worse.
depression in such a situation is understandable...
but realize- it's really her problem not yours. i say that because someone who can just fuck around with people and toss them aside like that is doomed to never have any kind of real satisfying relationship. she'll never be happy, because she'll always be on the lookout for someone 'better'.
there's nothing wrong with you. you obviously have a heart, conscience, and feelings. you'll find someone who will appreciate you, and the tourettes is a non-issue. i'm a congenital amputee, married to a man with cp- but i never dated another disabled person before him, and never had a problem finding someone once i developed a little self confidence.
i know, it all sounds cliche and unhelpful, sorry. i hope you can start eating again, feel better.
i find myself hoping something goes wrong with them, and she's stuck with making a big lovelife mistake.
selfish daydreaming aside, i still havn't eat. last night i managed to eat about 1/4 a bowl of white rice i had in the fridge. thats been my biggest meal in a week. i'm to the point where i'm just not hungry, but anxious about food. like i get worried about eating it for some reason.
the porn making me feel sick thing is passing.
and i've lost about 15 pounds in a very short ammount of time with no excersize. i have a sit-down job, and then get on the computer when i get home. my stomach has started having spasms. mostly not painfull. just feels like somethings pushing out from the inside.
my (online) friends have been telling me to just get a 1 night stand somewhere to help get over it, but i'm not that social or charming/brave. also i'm just uninterested in other women right now. can't get the ex off of my mind. its costing me a little bit of sleep too, but nothing as alarming as my inability to eat
>still havn't been eating well
fixed
I would tell you all sorts of shit about how this girl is a humongous bitch and you should forget about her, but you're not going to listen. So all I'll say is you should go to the doctor and get some prozac.
oh, i don't deny that shes a total bitch for what she did, but you can't help who you love. i know i'll get over that in due time though.
I've read through both threads and I'm suprised just cut off all contact with her never talk to her ignore her if she calls if you see her ignore her get rid of anything that could connect you to her delete/throw away her phone numbers and contact info. Get her out of your mind by pretending she doesn't exist or isn't real. It will be hard but to forget and move on but sometimes its the only way. don't talk to her anymore thats what is making you sick you're tricking yourself into a false sense of hope.
Dude, I had a whole bowl of reese's for breakfirst, so this is gonna be alright
>>7
i did that with my girlfriend before this one. but this one i want to be friends with because we have so much in common, and i just enjoyed her company (remember, i don't have alot of friends). if i blow her off now and not talk until i'm 'ready' to be friends, i'm afraid she might not want to be friends after me not contacting her for so long.
i'll eventually be shrugged off in conversation as the ex who had problems after the breakup, and it not being a huge deal really :/
i don't want that. i'd like us to stay close. but i want to get on with my life and not feel like shit.
>>8
CANDY, FOR BREAKFAST?
I miss-spelled breakfast. What gets to me worst is that I had the whole word wrong, it's not like it was a typo or anything.
I can't believe this shit.
...and this the only real concern I've had so far this day. I guess that would be alright if my life wasn't a complete mess.
But let's not talk about my issues now
After reading your love thread, and seeing this one, I can only conclude that you have to GROW A SPINE.
And WTF is with this thread? The last three posts sound like a schizo. One knows how to spell, but the other uses correct capitalisation. One hopeless sap at a time please.
>Well she was close enough to let you hear her love calls to another man. Was that close enough for you??
ouch. that sort a struck a nerve.
i /am/ pissed off, and have been since learning about the other man being planned behind my back. though it may not show up very well in my text, because i have other problems i wanted to talk about.
the tourettes thing isn't about being less likable. it's a personal anoyance and makes my face feel worn out by the end of the day
i'll think about cutting off contacts for awile. i'll sleep on it
well, i finally had a meal. lets see if i can keep it down
Harsh, I know, but that was the intention. To provoke some anger towards this manipulative, immoral, selfish vamp. You need to do something to take you mind off her. Therefore you cannot afford to maintain this "friendship facade". That's letting her off easy, and another injustice towards you. Do some self improvement or something. Go to the gym to let it all out. Start acting like a man dude, and stop letting women walk all over you. Have some fucking resolve.
doing better. starting to pick at food, at least. fits of depression/loneliness coming and going all the time, but at least i've lost some weight.
not really ready to talk to her. we're both gonna be at an event this coming month, and i'll probably have to see her. not sure how i'll handle it by then
just woke up from a dream about her. this is actually the second time at least, but i don't remember the previous one clearly.
in this, we were walking around a mall together. she was just hanging out with me to make me feel better, i think. in the dream i asked if it's "safe" for me to be at the upcoming event, and she told me that her new man will probably follow her around alot.
then she hung on my arm out of pity to make me feel better.
i don't feel very well.
also, i've been thinking about this lately. when she first broke up with me she told she'd decided a couple of weeks earlier.
a couple of weeks earlier, i couldn't finish during sex.
i'd already masturbated atleast 3 times that day, and was honest with her when she started apologizing. i didn't think she believed me, and must have been a little upset since she kept apologizing.
i hope this wasn't the 'last straw' that made her pick the new man over me. i'm very much attracted to her :/
just when i'm starting to get her out of my mind for awile, i have another dream.
this time i'm talking to her online, and pretty much tell her that i didn't want our relationship to be as non-serious as it was. i loved her and wanted it to be more.
she agreed, and said thats what she wanted all along, and left me bacause it wasn't happening.
i woke up as i was typing her, saying if i get another chance, i'll treat her the way i really wanted to treat her.
but in real life im sure thats not the case. she made saying "i love you" awkward. i remember her once getting weirded out because i said it during sex. she very rarely said she loved me, without me saying it first. :/
sigh
...and another dream last night.
so much for forgetting about her.
though i guess it's been established that it's best i forget about her for awhile, i'm sad that she hasn't actually tried to talk to me. no messages online or calls to say hi, text messages. anything.
i'm really disappointed and sad since she expressed interest in staying friends with me, but won't go out of her way to talk to me. i know if i message her, she'll talk. but if i don't, she'll never talk to me
DO YOU KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BUILT THIS WAY
WITH ONLY THE POWER TO PUSH OTHERS AWAY
THAT IS WHY
I AM MY OWN BIGGEST FAN
she messaged me today. i tried not to say much, but it made my day that she finally contacted me.
though im sure this is probably a step backwards :/
i'm doing bad again. this weekend was the said "event" we'd both be at. i managed to not run into her the entire time, but a friend told me he kept seeing her and "and her new boy toy".
i had been a little anxious but it wasn't weighing on me alot until i heard that.
it somehow made it worse that i'm rooming with a girl i kind of like and have known for years. pretty sure she can tell, but seems uninterested in me.
those 2 things combined made for a pretty lonely night.
today is the last day. if i can make it without seeing the ex i'll consider it a blessing.
also, now i'm not really sulking over her so much, as i am just being alone. i'm hoping thats an improvement.
how are you doing with this OP? i think dreaming about her means you're dealing with things properly. the dreams seem to be straightforward and easily interpretable so that's a good sign. hope you're eating ok now.
Don't overexert yourself. And just try to cope with it but try to do things that'll take your mind of it. Even if it's for a moment it'll remove some stress. And not sulking so much is an improvement =D Just keep moving forward! I believe you can get through it! As a girl who's been through these types of relationships, oh trust me i had one almost exactly like it but i sulked waaaaaaaaaay more. It sux i know. But I was able to get through it so can you!! You can do it!! You can even try to be busy so you won't have time to sulk! Just, again, don't overexert yourself and don't think of it as a step back or a horrible thing. If you enjoyed the times you had then don't be sad, be happy that you had the chance to make those memories. Just keep moving forward =D
>>29
i made brief eye contact with her this sunday while running by. it felt like it lasted forever. it was so awkward for me.
i keep wishing she had ending this this thinking about how i'd feel too. because i really want to be friends with her, but if i can't trust her with my heart, i don't think i should be trusting her as a friend. a good friend wouldn't go behind my back for a month, lead me on and do these sort of things, right? and they only decided to be an item within that month. who knows what the conversations were like before that. :/
the eating has its ok days and its bad days. yesterday i ate nothing. today i had a couple of chicken wings. i've lost alot of weight. my coworkers who don't know what happening keep telling me i look alot thinner, but i've got no reason to feel good about it. they just assume i'm dieting.
>>30
thanks. sometimes i get the feeling i'll never find another girl i love and vice versa. it's probably not true, but sometimes the thought gets to me.
i really hope i can do it. getting out of this slump, go out and maybe i'll eventually meet another amazing girl.
happiness comes from within. if youre looking for someone to make you happy that means youll never be happy and youll only be using them as a crutch because youre not able to walk on your own.
going through a break up is bad. but maybe its a way of freeing you up for someone better but youre too stuck to realize it.
theres people everywhere. just stay positive and keep moving. as long as you are moving toward something youre bound to get results.
I'm glad ur trying to think positive ;D And dont let that thought take over you. That's the last thing you need. Just when it comes in, i dunno~, you can shoot the thought and tell it to stfu ;D Thats what i did at least xD Dont let it rule your life cause you can rule your own.
>>31
I don't know if you needed to lose weight, but I know that my last breakup I lost 10kgs. I didn't need to lose them, and while I was depressing/not eating/etc., I didn't see that as a good thing. Then some time later I meet a friend I hadn't seen for a couple months and she tells me that I look great and "hey, you lost some weight didn't you?"
Something I can tell you helps about this issue is to do some exercise (just force yourself into it, not much, some pushups and abs each day) and then eat some meat, not much, but the exercise would probably have opened your appetite at least a little bit. That way you'll be able to eat, build up or keep some muscle mass (because when you don't hit muscles get hit hard), and there you go.
Hey, some people are struggling with diets. Depressive people should feel lucky!
>>32
been thinking about that. i thought that i was really used to being alone before this breakup. i had spent a whole year single, and had just started to leave the house and hang out with friends, or just go out on my own to have fun.
i don't want to have to NEED a relationship, but i really miss the feeling of knowing someone likes me in that kind of way. so i don't know what to do about it. and my self image has dropped quite a bit lately and took my confidence/inner happiness with it :/
>>34
i'm a little overweight. 5'10, and i was 240lbs when this started. i'm 215lbs now and still dropping. i don't feel good about the weightloss. i threw up again last night, which kind of hurts when your stomachs already empty.
bad nerves, or whatever it is. it usually happens at night when i'm tired. i just get the sudden feeling im gonna throw up and run to the toilet
youre right. depressive people should feel lucky that they can lose weight. but theres a healthy way to do it and an unhealthy way to do it and most depressive people lose weight unhealthyly which will hurt them in the long run.
>>35
i dont like needing a relationship either. i know what you mean about the feeling you get when you have someone that likes you in a certain way.
it is good but if you never can look at yourself in the mirror and appreciate the good qualities you have or the things you can do, then even if that next person comes along youll be so stuck in the past you wont move with the next best person
i was there before. i moved from atlanta to new york to be with my girlfriend and when i moved up there she was like umm why are you here. she had someone she was seeing up in new york and i couldnt get over it for months. even when i had other girls trying to sleep with me id just leave them in my bed for a couple of hours and say i had to run an errand and when i got back id be tired lol.
now im past that stage and i can say that as long as youre stuck in the past. youll never get right. its not hard to move on once thats what you decide to do. cause if you dont, then she won and you lost.
personally i hate losing more than feeling like shit.
人 （＿_）
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（ ・∀・） ＜My name is Squeeks and I am derailing this thread.
（つ つ
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I know the feeling of missing the fact that someones cares for you. But you'll come through it. Yoi think you need it when in reality it's just a feeling you want. You'll have it again, with a better woman and you'll be happy that you were able to continue on.
well, i'm doing better with the help of friends now. i still catch myself thinking about her alot, but there are a couple of other girls around me i'm a bit interested in.
my appetite has started to come back a bit. not all the way, but its better.
there are bad days, and i guess i'm accepting loneliness for now and that no girl i like will actually show mutual interest. yay for realistic. kind of.
but otherwise i'm doing better, and leaving the house. i can only hope i can keep this up. happiness is looking like it's going to be a choir. but it's starting to show nonetheless
have a new girlfriend. thought i would be doing better once i got here. im kind of not though. my ex is still stuck in my mind. and my ex even said she thought we were 'more compatable', which i don't think is the case. i think im getting "the one who got away" syndrom. im thinking about her all the time. i regret not making a bigger effort to take that relationship more seriously, but at the same time im still disgusted that she left me for another man. i told myself if she ever wanted me back i'd say no based on that, but lately im having doubts (not that i expect such things to ever happen. my imagination just runs wild)
whats more, i now feel incredibly akward when she IMs me. we never even had eachothers AIM names when we saw eachother. just another part of me not taking the relatioship seriously enough. i think i let someone amazing get away.
having these feelings really isn't fair to my new girlfriend. of course i havn't told anyone what i'm feeling. it has me down throughout my entire workday. i considered telling my girlfriend i want to take a break so i have a chance to get my head straight, but i don't think that'll fix anything.
i don't know howto deal with it. i've only been seeing her for about 3 weeks. do i just break up and be single? do i stick around and see if i end up liking this girl alot more? i don't want to lead her on if i don't think i can fall in love with her
>>40: You have several issues: