I've always been the outcast. Even when I was younger it seemed like people just saw me as something additional to hang out with or if there was nobody else available. There have been times when I've been outright ignored when I try to talk to people. Other times my "friends" will say something to me out of obligation like a "Hey," then immediately move onto whoever else is within the area and have real conversations with them. Even now as I'm getting in adulthood it still happens. Is it because I'm shy or more introverted than others, that I'm more boring? That doesn't excuse the outright rudeness or shitting on me that happens sometimes.
Even these "friendships" have ended simply because they grow tired of me, like I was something to be used. The only times people really noticed me was when I used to feel really angry and acted ludicrously fake or obnoxious to get attention but even then I felt like they only thought of me as a joke. Even when I took the initiative I was soon discarded or people would simply treat me differently for whatever reason, something that I instinctively felt. Other times I would feel so miserable that they would ask me if I was okay, like they now notice me when I'm suffering instead of all the other times they passed me up for conversation. What the hell is that anyway? I'm minding my own business, fresh for conversation like everyone else but as soon as I'm in pain you wear that phony helper mask and try to look good?
I hate social "games." I hate that I have to do something really good in school that blows my classmates' minds away or that I have to say something surprising for the environment I'm in to really get any attention or respect for that matter. And I hate that people automatically label me as the quiet guy or look at me like I'm a freak even when I go to new environments with people who are completely unawares of me.
That's all. Feel free to offer any insight or advice if you want but I just wanted to get that off my chest.
Quiet guy here too. For me, my old friends used to ditch me and do drugs,go to parties just because i don't drink,don't drugs,smoke whateveR. I knew these guys since i was 9, and this happened all the time at 16,17. It hurt like a mothafucka but eventually they wanted to hang out, i just ditched them and found new friends.
New friends backstab too, it's this really fucked up social games i hate. phone:
me: "hey sup, what are you doing?"
him: "oh nothing just chilling"
me:" wanna do something"
him: "i can't, i'm meeting my dad.."
me: " oké.."
later i walk on the streets ("friend" lives nearby)and you see him walking off with another one of my friends going to the movies or shit. WTF? Seriously pissed off, and i just pretend i never saw him leave.
Why do we always have to play these games? I fucking HATE MINDGAMES, it's with everything. Even on msn! "Yeah i went to the concert with blablabla". So what? Should i be jealous? . Maybe i'm just reading too much in people's actions
but like you, i don't necessarily hate people. I HATE THE GAMES!!
bah good rant, thankyou for opening such a thread
I think many of us are quiet guys. :) And for that matter, that sort of person seems the most common kind on the internet in general.
I might be the more naive sort of quiet guy, but I choose to give people the benefit of doubt and assume good faith.
>I fucking HATE MINDGAMES, it's with everything. Even on msn! "Yeah i went to the concert with blablabla". So what? Should i be jealous? . Maybe i'm just reading too much in people's actions
I think you would be reading too much into that particular remark. It's probably just small talk. People like to share impressive experiences like going to a concert.
There are plenty of people who just say what's on their minds, rather than playing intricate "mind games" to get people to feel how they want them to feel. I think plenty of people just aren't clever enough for that sort of thing.
OP here
Another thing, it's aggravating how I'm always left out of conversations. No matter how they begin, even if they're with people I know relatively well, I'm always the outcast even there. I won't accept that it's something wrong with me. Only someone abominable could consistently reject people like this and so the human race is that abomination. There are other times when I'll be perfectly content with someone and we'll be talking like good friends then as soon as one of the other friends shows up, well I'm out. Or when I'm with friends I'm usually ignored period and people only say something to me to assuage their guilty consciences so they don't feel like they leave me out. But that type of cowardice pisses me off more. If you really don't like me that much, stop pussing out and say something.
Truth is I do feel somewhat responsible myself since sometimes I act cold due to all the times I've been burned but there are other times when I genuinely have little to talk about since I have a nigh nonexistent social life but then again shouldn't people just be able to strike up a conversation out of nothing? It's becoming something of a self-fulfilling prophecy in which I'm terrified of social situations simply because I don't want to strike up something good then for something out of nowhere, accidental or intentional, to go ahead and take it all away. Sometimes I respond to their friendly advances and it feels like I'm lifted up just to throw me down. It really hurts when I misinterpret things and I wonder at what got away.
I hate it and the only alternative seems to become the biggest douche out there. Done it before and while it does hurt at what you do become, at the same time it feels good shitting on those people who are just betrayers in waiting, to put them in the same position as I'm in, to get underneath their skin. But I can't live like that. Just too dehumanizing.
Really while I did appear somewhat bitter at the conclusion of my first post, I'm really desperate as to some kind of answer to solve all this. Anyone?
>I won't accept that it's something wrong with me. Only someone abominable could consistently reject people like this and so the human race is that abomination.
What, so because you don't fit in, the entire six billion headed population of the earth is doing it wrong? Don't ever think like that.
I agree it might be best not to think of this as something wrong with you, but it could just be something you do wrong. It's not like the only two possibilities are that either it's something about you that you can't change, or it's something about the rest of the world that you can't change.
I understand that the above post is a rant, but seriously, don't be so defeatist about it. If you really have this problem with everyone, the problem is a discrepancy between you and the rest of the world, and since you're smaller than the rest of the world (and thus less work to adapt), you're the one that should try to resolve it.
I suggest you start by being more optimistic about people. Try to be understanding and trust that when they do something that makes you feel miserable, they never intended that. Nineteen times out of twenty, they'll be completely oblivious to how much it gets to you and would be shocked to find out they hurt you.
While this is, like I said, the persuasion of a naive sort of quiet guy, even if I'm wrong about it, this sort of optimism will definitely make you happier.
OP, graduate from high school.
>>7 Except your Employers at a job can legally abuse you much more than a Teacher could ever get away with.
If by "abuse" you mean the secretary sucking her boss off, I agree.
How's it going, OP?
I used to be an average kid back in elementary school. I played soccer, had lots of friends, and I would go out and do things. Then my dad lost his job and we had to move to the south. The first week of school there I nearly get into a fight, I get sent to the principal's office twice, and I had to have a parent teacher conference because the kid's mom I almost fought with called the school and told them I was picking on him (bullshit). I was always a straight A student and never before had I EVER had a problem with another person.
I didn't have any friends until the next year where I met a guy I ended up having a lot of fun with. We would go places outside of school together and hang out all the time. Then he started to crack jokes about me. It was nothing serious at first, but later on it was all he did. Before long he started ignoring me altogether. Not long after that I was talking to some members of the school soccer team because I was interested in joining, we got to talking and I brought up something about pokemon and one kid started laughing at me because of it and the rest of them joined in. From that day forward I vowed to myself that I would never speak unless spoken to. I followed through with it.
I made two or three friends after that, but we never did anything outside of school; that was until I met someone I ended up becoming very good friends yet. It was in middle school, we met in the first class that day and had a lot of things in common. He was my only friend and we did a lot of things together in school and out, up until he dropped out of high school in our freshman year. For the rest of high school I was a loner, no one really talked to me and I was left alone. Maybe once a month I would see my one friend outside of school.
I eventually graduated my friend and I spent a lot of time together at first, but then we started seeing each other less and less. He didn't have problems meeting new people or going out and doing things with strangers, while I was terrible at it. He was a normal guy, but I was still the same shy kid I was back when I had made that life changing decision. I talked to him for the first time in half a year not too long ago and he asked me if we could meet somewhere; he never showed up.
I had pretty much the same problem when I was growing up.
In elementary school, I seem to have friends and whatnot, but around 3rd grade that started changing. I noticed the other kids would crack jokes about me and I would play along and then one day, towards the end of the school year, one of the kids told me "you know, we call you names because we do not like you". Later that same day, I bumped into some kid in gym class and he just punched me in the face. Not all that hard, but it was enough.
4th and 5th grade we pretty much the same. It was easy to tell none of those people were not my friends and in 6th grade, some of them figured out they could become bullies and did so against me and others. This went on off and on until I was a junior in high school. It was tiring every time some asshole opened his mouth, I immediately had to jump up and kick his ass first chance I got just so I got left alone. Most of the time when the teacher was out, I jumped up and nailed the fucker with a heavy book or something. Flipped his desk over with him in and few good kicks to the face. Usually had to do that on the first of second day of the semester. Once word got around I wasn't putting up with it, I was left alone, but no friends. I also had no qualms hitting a girl either.
My junior year, everything just stopped and I just coasted until I graduated. Not sure why I just got left alone at that point.