I don't have many friends in real life. Maybe 6. None of which I hang out with or talk to much or even at all. I'm really not close with any of them. Around last July, spending my time sitting around posting on some message board, I developed some crush on some girl online. I started talking to her more, and soon we started talking literally every day. Every day we tell each other "good morning" when the other one comes online, and all that. I know I could never have her as a girlfriend or anything, since she lives across the country, in addition to having a boyfriend. A while ago (maybe a couple weeks or a month ago) I told her that I'm not into her romantically/sexually anymore, and I think that's still the case (she knew I was into her pretty much since we started talking). But the other day, she mentioned something like how sometimes when she can't sleep she walks over to her boyfriends house and plays video games with him and sleeps over at his house, upon which I just felt this horrible feeling. I don't know if it was jealousy or what, as I don't feel it towards anyone particularly, her or her boyfriend. But it got me worrying that I might still be into her. I don't want to be.
There's also the issue that I'm simply "some guy on the internet" and she has a best friend and a boyfriend in real life that bothers me. I don't mean as much to her as she means to me.
And last, there's the fact that I will never meet her, and probably never hear her voice (since she won't buy a mic) or see her on a webcam or anything. I feel sort of like the more I talk to her, the closer we get and the more it depresses me that I will never meet her.
These things, along with probably a couple others I forgot to mention, often make me want to just stop talking to her and end our relationship. But if I do that, I'll go back to not having anybody, and instead of constantly thinking about and worrying about these things I'll just go back to being depressed and lonely and thinking about killing myself. I really don't know what to do about it.
To clarify, I don't necessarily want to be the only person close to her like she is to me.
This wouldn't be better suited for the Romance board, would it? Romance is part of it, but not the whole thing.
Also, there's the issue of having a close friendship with somebody based completely on talking to them via text and emoticons (many with a rather ambiguous meaning) and the possibility that she isn't always conveying her true emotions or feelings about something, to make me happy/not worry about something. Because I know I'm guilty of that.
This girl is not a solution to your socialization problems. She is just a crutch, and even if you keep your relationship with her, you will still end up lonely.
You really need to get out and find people near your place that you can socialize with. The good news is that if you could establish a long lasting relationship with a girl, there's no question that you can do the same in your life, if you manage to shake off your fear.
I don't see how I'm magically going to develop social skills and "shake off my fear", but I'll take what you said into consideration.
I think you're right. As long as I have her, I have an excuse not to go out and make friends, or become closer with the ones I have. But the problem is that I love her, and I love talking to her. I think if I just ended this it would really hurt her.
you don't need to end with her, you just need to go beyond that type of relationship, qnd not with her
Okay, I'm pretty sure I do still like her now, and I want to end what we have because I just can't deal with it anymore. I just don't know how to do it without hurting her or anything.
I don't think there is a way to break off contact without hurting her, unless she wouldn't be hurt to begin with. I mean, I hate to phrase it this way, but you are probably just "some guy on the internet" as far as she's concerned, so she has no reason to be terribly offended by you breaking off contact.
>>11
Seconded, don't use that as an excuse. If that is really the reason not to stop with her, then just tell her the plain story: you like her, but it's impossible, so you need to make some distance. It will be much better for her.
I've already just told her that I like her. She's told me that I'm her second closest friend, and when I tried this type of thing before but gave in and went back to talking to her she said she was really sad, since I said I was going to completely cut it off with her then too. I'm going to try to end it, but I think I might give it another day or two to think about it.
And yes, I realize that by doing this I'm just putting it off because I don't have the confidence to do it.
Alright, I ended it with her. She's reading this right now.
I hope getting over her isn't going to be some big ordeal again. I already miss talking to her and I feel like shit. But I'm definitely not going back to talking to her.
Burn that bridge, you won't regret it..i didn't.
>>17
Already did. If you have the time, mind sharing your experience? You've piqued my interest.
now i get depressed every time i watch an asian woman masturbate or fuck a dog :(
Does anybody have any idea how to get over the feeling that she's the perfect girl and there's never going to be another like her? I do realize that the problem lies in the fact that since I only knew her online, I don't know anything about her personality in real life, and that she obviously wouldn't tell me bad things about herself. It's just that I can't imagine ever knowing another girl with all those amazing qualities.
ie: attractive, likes the same video games I do (PC games nonetheless), listens mostly to video game music, is asian, doesn't worry about her appearance (like spending a lot of effort doing makeup or hair or whatever) but still manages to be very attractive, likes the same hentai i do, blah blah blah.
I try to focus my attention on the one flaw of hers that I do know (somewhat fucked up morals) and I find myself just not really being turned off by it, no matter how hard I try.
>>20 Bad news, you will never again have another one like her. You see, she's unique, so it's not possible.
On the other hand, the world is filled with tons of wonderful girls. It's just that they are wonderful in many other ways. Give these girls a chance, will you? ^_^)
>>21
Which involves talking to girls I'm attracted to without acting like a retard. :|
Also, this is to the point where I get depressed (to varying degrees) any time I see something that even vaguely reminds me of her, whether it be a video game she played at her birthday party, the graphics card she has, or even seeing an asian girl talking to a white guy in the hallway.
>>24
You see "Name: OP : 2009-01-22 21:34 ID:/FNtxm7K" above your post? We use "ID" to figure out you are you. Unless you post on a different computer, delete/expire your cookies, or have an IP change, you don't need to sign your post with your name (although it helps). If you really MUST need a more permanent ID, use a tripcode. Sorry if this reads out me making you out to be a retard.
Also, >>21 sucks cock for the "unique" comment. I was in the same boat OP. The person suckered me into a guilt trip to get me into an e-relationship. Then put the guilt trip on me when I ended it. It was poison. I'm glad I ended it. Otherwise, what >>21 said is right.
>>22
Stop acting like a retard then.
>>23
It takes several months.
I guess I don't really know if I would act like a retard talking to girls I'm attracted to because I've never had the confidence to actually try it. :|
And thanks, >>25
It doesn't feel like it's ever going to go away. What can I do to make this go faster?
Look, life is a game, the more you do, the better you get. Its like, in order to be the best, you have to have the high score, you dig? If you want a real life, then go and mess around, and do all the stupid things you where to lazy to do. Do drugs, bang women, fight people, make friends, have hobbies, go to parties, listen to muzik, get an education, join a gang, hustle, write poetry, draw pretty things, work out, play sports, do everything. Whatever and whenever. However. You need to experience life in order to have one, if you spend your life in a freakin hole, guess what, all your going to know is the inside of that hole. If your out doing more, your going to have more. And if all else fails, there is always the option of trying something else.
To simplify, ignore internet girl, go live life. Any questions?
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