Advice on dating woman (8)

1 Name: Vlad : 2009-02-01 08:01 ID:z/dk5dwS

Ive never been in a serious relationship. all Ive had is these sex ventures where do I start.

2 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-01 17:26 ID:YYGPlGj2

Uh oh, someone wants to start dating. I'm a girl and I would recommend as a place to start would be to go online to establish a connection. Go on a free dating website start engaging local people there. I know the internet might be a weird place to start dating but think about it, you can go to a website, look at profiles and pictures, and exchange emails and set up a date at a coffee place. Its a good way to start practicing.

The other way is to either make friends with girls, which could end up being a dead end or try learning how to flirt and asking girls out that you see as attractive in everyday life. If you are confident in yourself I recommend trying this as well, but this is often not the case.

I am biased to the internet because that is how my current relationship started, with an email. Of course you have the potential of running across weird people, but this is the same risk you have in real life. Good luck.

3 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-02 02:40 ID:hE1oqSfT

>>2 is a girl on the internets. DO NOT WANT.

4 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-03 14:12 ID:YsbhCZRu

>>2 is absolutely right, the internet is a good place to start, just go for it.

Also, next time post in the /love/ forum, and not in /personal/

5 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-03 20:44 ID:ORCiNfcG

>>3 here.

The internet isn't for everyone. People enter net relationships with high expectations and when it comes down to a real-life meet, it either ends up in a sex venture (internet sluttery on both sides of the gender line, what OP wants to avoid), just friends (if you consider this serious) or going nowhere (the usual situation). It's great if you want to find people of similar interests, but do not expect it for anything more serious (although a person can build from there). Also, don't take stories of dream net-related relationships seriously as those cases are one of several thousands (hundreds of thousands maybe). A serious relationship always starts when people know each other in romantic, emotional, intellectual and/or physical ways.

OP, I've assumed you've got the meeting people part down. What you need to do is stop before going off on some sexual venture and actually talk to the people you are meeting.

>>3
This is a /personal/ issue and isn't exclusively /love/ for the simple reason that a serious relationship isn't exclusively for romantic interests.

6 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-03 21:31 ID:lCR+sl8A

>don't take stories of dream net-related relationships seriously as those cases are one of several thousands

I don't know what makes you think that. Among the people I know I would say that 30% of long term relationships (including marrying and making kids) started through internet contacts. So what you are saying is patently false. Internet won't provide you with a wife, it will give you more chances to meet people. What you do with those contacts depends on you.

7 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-04 02:38 ID:Heaven

>>6
30% of the people YOU know. That 30% would translate to something smaller (3%) when searching for people within a local area. Sorry, but meeting people IRL or over the internet is only a step. You cannot say that the internet alone got people together, as you need physical contact. Also, with the internet you cannot observe people before you meet them. Sure, you've got a profile with an autobiography, yet you cannot trust a profile to tell you how a person acts. You share information with strangers, and you have no guarantees that the persons in question are "right" or safe to meet until it actually happens. If you meet people through friends, all the better as you know people that know you and the possible mate.

8 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-04 18:10 ID:YsbhCZRu

>>7
I don't say that internet alone creates the relationship, it's just the means to get the first contact, nothing else. Also, I'm not at all discounting the "through friends" method. I think it's actually often more efficient, but not accessible to everybody.

Once again I repeat, the internet is not there to "make" the relationship, just to provide first contact. Of course you don't know all the facts about the person from an internet contact, but some parts of her carry through. IRL, you also don't know much about the person, when you first meet her. In both cases you need to investigate further, and of course that should proceed by direct contact, and not through the internet. Internet is useful for the first contacts, but the rest should be carried IRL.

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