My Life Story, please help me break the cycle (36)

1 Name: H-Town Stomper : 2009-02-06 22:00 ID:o9inRrld

Okay, heres the thing. When I was growing up, a lot of things happened in my life that caused me to have some serious emotional problems. I used to live in Hopewell, and when I was there so many acts of violence where around me that it shattered my emotions. When I was 10, I moved to Richmond, and went from being poor, to being in an upper-middle class neighborhood. The change from rags to riches was already a hard transition, but I havent been able to talk to people until about 3 years ago when this story really begins. Three years ago, I was a highschool freshman, and met a crip, the first one Ive seen since Hopewell. Coming from where I came, I promised myself I wouldnt break the laws, but as soon as I got wrapped up in gangs, I started doing things that would make most people flinch. Now, I have a reputation for being one of the most evil, to the point of where everyone is scared to see me outside of school, and I cant get a girl because they are scared of me too. How do I break the reputation of being seen as being evil. Granted, Im still going to do the things I do, but I dont want people to be afraid of me. What do I do?

Thanks in Advance.

2 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-06 22:31 ID:3C7GTUdO

what are the "things" we are talking about?
what about making more good stuff to the girls and smile more and be friendly with them?
just use the proper whiteknighting techniques :3

3 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-07 00:15 ID:MHpOZwkR

>>1 just deal with the consequences of your acts. You can fool people for a while, but not forever, specially when you start the game by showing your cards.

4 Name: H-Town Stomper : 2009-02-07 00:37 ID:o9inRrld

OP here

>2

Heres a laundry list of some of the things I have done

A. Armed Robbery
B. Breaking and Entering + Robbery
C. Hustling (weapons and drugs)
D. Shootings (never actually hit anyone)
E. Arson
F. Fighting

And a few other things

What do you mean about making good stuff to the girls? Also, whenever I smile I look really scary because I dont know how to have a good smile. How do I act friendly?

>3 I dont want to scare people though, I know I fucked up, but I dont want for everyone to be scarred about me.

5 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-07 00:47 ID:MHpOZwkR

Every once and a while, some random guy comes here boasting about how such a mean and evil gang member he is, the newest cross between rambo and karate kid. Sadly, he's more likely to be just some immature brat looking for a bit of attention.

So please feel yourself comfortable here, and entertain us with your lurid stories and amazing feats. Since I'm feeling like being entertained, why don't for example tell us about your last armed robbery? Please do describe us how amazing it was, and all the emotions you went through, plus the incredible impression you left on the witnesses. This is your show, give us the best you have! ^_^

6 Name: H-town Stomper : 2009-02-07 02:11 ID:o9inRrld

>5 Your absolutely right. Im going to waste 10 minutes, get on to some random message board, and talk about robbery when I could just say it to some random person on the street and waste 3. In fact, why go on to some random website for advice, when I could just get criticized by my folks. Damn, you have me so pegged, you must feel proud of yourself. If you want to be an asshole, then how about you bend over and take it like you do in real life. Ass.

7 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-07 04:19 ID:gPZ7GVZz

Honestly there is a reason people are afraid of you its not like you used to do these things in the past you are activly doing them and have no intention to stop. Your actions reflect who you are. And I'm not talking about just how other people percieve you I'm talking about who you are as a person on the inside like how you think and act and solve problems. You have to make a choice do you want to be accepted by your peers in school or with the people outside of school. You can't have both

8 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-07 05:08 ID:Heaven

You do scary stuff, people are scared.

You don't do scary stuff, people are not scared.

Rather simple equation.

9 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-08 01:54 ID:+vWG2nJy

start wearing a cross, and dressing prep. People are superficial, if you look 'good' they will think you are 'good'. Thus it's easier for a lot of people to believe you are reformed if you pick up, even superficially, a religion. You can phase out the Christian thing, should you wish to, when people have accepted you.

The pre-requisite of keeping your nose clean and being a generally good person remains.

10 Name: H-town Stomper : 2009-02-09 02:13 ID:o9inRrld

>9 I like that idea of looking like a nice person. Im going to try that. Does anyone have any suggestions on how for me to show off a nicer personality as well?

11 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-09 09:25 ID:/wxtBJw1

8 summed it up quite nicely. stop hanging out with people that might be associated with gang-related activities and start doing things that people find favorable, like charity or helping people out. You also gotta do what 9 said, since people like to judge outward appearances first.

12 Name: 9 : 2009-02-09 13:26 ID:Va+MfRdf

>>11

>people like to judge outward appearances first

And reputation. Reputation plays a huge part. Also OP, keep in mind that your first efforts will probably go mainly unnoticed or that people will stay suspicious (maybe with a reason if you really just want to "look" nice). This will probably be hard for you, making efforts that look useless. But keep on trying and eventually a new reputation will start to stick to you as "the guy that once was bad and redeemed himself", and maybe one day just "that nice guy" (the good meaning of "nice guy").

13 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-09 21:11 ID:YdQQdBSX

so have you turned yourself in already

14 Name: H-town Stomper : 2009-02-09 21:47 ID:o9inRrld

>11-12

So theres no way for me to have it both ways. For me to do whatever and for people to believe Im a nice person. I have to genuinely be a nice person?

>13

No, have you?

15 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-09 22:38 ID:eDijjH4m

Adsense is like that. They check for content and connect ads. You will sometimes see "jesus ads" on an atheist site which doesn't make any sense, but money is good motivator.

Answer to your question, dunno. Just don't show images when you visit 4-ch, you can program it.

16 Name: 8 : 2009-02-10 01:48 ID:Va+MfRdf

>>14
If you're really in it as much as you say you are.. no, probably not. You might be able to maintain an illusion for a few minutes to new encounters, but don't expect that kind of judgement in you everyday neighbourhood.

17 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-10 19:54 ID:4bZV3Fd8

So you wanna fake people out? It doesn't work, either you will have to change who you are or accept the reputation your actions have given you. I do have a suggestion: you can slowly become a nicer person while staying the badass you are, but it won't change anyone's perception for a long time. I'm speculating that you want to be considered nice, but you do not want to be given shit for it. You don't want to be walked over for being nice. Someday you want to grow up and be your own person and if you want to succeed in real life you don't want to be in the gang for the rest of your life.

So be a thug, get into fights or do what you do but start learning to be nice to strangers or something. Do volunteer work, help out some little kids or something and keep it a secret and you will learn how to be nice to people. The way you treat others determines what people think about you. If you can be a bad ass and still be kind to people then you've conquered your delima

18 Name: H-town Stomper : 2009-02-10 21:36 ID:o9inRrld

>17 I like you. Thats the smartest thing Ive heard all day. Is there any way for me to get started though?

19 Name: H-town Stomper : 2009-02-11 23:28 ID:o9inRrld

An update: Today is the first day in my life that I actually did anything for school at home. I know its not exactly the greatest thing in the world, but at least its a step in the right direction.

20 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-12 09:50 ID:/wxtBJw1

>>19

Keep at it, H-town! I'll continue to read this thread and supporting you for as long as you keep on posting in it

21 Name: H-town Stomper : 2009-02-12 21:46 ID:o9inRrld

>19

Thanks for the support.

I actually attempted to make friends with a couple of preppy kids today. It was hard because I didnt know what to talk about, but all I really had to do was show up in a polo (I have a nice striped one) and pretend that I was interested in anything they had to say. On a negative side though, I got inschool suspension for saying the wrong thing to my teacher, and I scared a kid so badly the other day, that when I went up to him today and said hi, he litterally jumped into the air and shivered. That really pissed me off, but I decided to walk away.

22 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-14 05:51 ID:TotiP2CD

I was a bit like you too H-town. Change everything about yourself, thats pretty much the only way.

Another easy way is to move and then change everything about yourself, it's alot easier to change yourself if you change your environment.

23 Name: H-town Stomper : 2009-02-15 03:30 ID:o9inRrld

>22

Thats true. I was thinking about applying to some colleges and going to a different atmosphere and try it, but Im not sure any college would be willing to let me in.

An update:

Today, I hung out with this girl at the mall that Ive had a crush on for forever. Thats about it. I enjoyed myself. (no sex, treat her like a lady.)

24 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-15 03:48 ID:VZAIjqXN

Good job! Sounds like progress to me.

25 Name: H-town Stomper : 2009-02-15 14:24 ID:o9inRrld

Im going to church. What do I do?

26 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-18 05:57 ID:VZAIjqXN

I've never been to church. I thought you go in groups (w/ family, friends, whatever) and follow their lead.

27 Name: H-town Stomper : 2009-02-18 12:00 ID:o9inRrld

>I dont trust anybody enough to do that. I dont trust my family or my friends.

28 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-18 18:36 ID:Va+MfRdf

Just go at church hours. Sit in the back row, remain quiet and observe what happens. You could also talk to the priest or pastor or whatever, although some of them are bigots and it's annoying, some of them are truly insightful persons. Even if you don't believe. Don't be ashamed of what you are (well, I guess you wouldn't anyway) but treat them with respect - you're on their territory after all, and are expecting something from them.

I'm not a believer but sometimes stuff happening in churches (and other cult places, actually) often move me a bit. Probably the atmosphere, the sharing moment.

29 Name: H-town Stomper : 2009-02-18 21:37 ID:o9inRrld

>28

Aight

Aight

30 Name: H-town Stomper : 2009-02-20 21:43 ID:o9inRrld

Theres this new girl sitting next to me in class, and shes really cute. I think shes interested in me, but I dont know what to say to her. Any suggestions?

31 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-21 03:32 ID:Va+MfRdf

>>30
Try something like "Hey, what's up?" and some chitchat about your class or whatever comes up. Don't push it. No need for a lenghty conversation, you're just making a first contact.

Ah, and avoid gansta-lingo like the plague.

32 Name: H-town Stomper : 2009-02-21 04:40 ID:o9inRrld

>31

Okay. Does anyone know any good topics for discussion. All I really know is the hustle.

33 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-23 06:13 ID:LvvniSBo

I have no clue, but people relate to outsiders best when the topic is a shared memory; recent event for example, or just a basic "hello" and question.

You are much a foil to many I know; thus intresting. Best of luck dude, barring some accident you'll succeed in the end.

34 Name: H-Town Stomper : 2009-02-23 23:58 ID:o9inRrld

>33 foil as in how? Just because I do things that arent considered the greatest doesnt mean that I dont get nervous as well.

35 Name: Anonymous : 2009-02-25 10:31 ID:Ta4rOFmw

No, it's not the acts but that you're actually making an effort to live your own life and experience things rather than be carried by circumstance.

36 Name: H-Town Stomper : 2009-02-25 21:55 ID:o9inRrld

>35

I believe that what happens to me is my fault. I dont believe in luck, I dont believe in fate, I dont believe in coincidences, and I dont believe God is going to help me. I either sink or swim. I want to swim, I have to do it myself.

I am a very hard worker.

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