This leads me to my reply to >>14 and >>15 :
I made it sound worse than it really is. Its not all bad. I don't think I'll ever be very sociable unless I take medicine for it, or something like that. I think its a chemical imbalance combined with extremely low self esteem. Its hard to fix those.
I especially made my partner to sound worse than he is. He's an amazing person for me to be around. He gave up all of his friends for me. Gave up all chances of a different life, so he could spend it with me. But do you know how I got him? I had to reach my hand out to him. Multiple times. I can write out exactly what I had to do to convince him, if you want. I don't want to spam you if you don't care all that much.
>>14, I'm still young, and you're probably still young. I'm sure things will get better, even if we can't get over these things.. I have a few sites for you to go to if you want to start to try making online friends. Its for anime fans though, so if you aren't into that, ignore this, but.. Try theOtaku.com. Thats where I started. Its really friendly, and you can start going into the chat after 30 days of signing up. People are super friendly, and non-intrusive there. My parents felt safe letting me on there when I was 12, and I really was safe. Its nothing you should feel anxiety about. Please join. Just make sure to read the rules if you have any doubt.
>>15, to be honest, I don't believe in a future like that either. As common and as emo as this sounds, I'll always be an outcast. People either reply to that with "Embrace it!" or "Thats not healthy, you need to better yourself!" and I don't believe in either. I would just talk to people who pluck a string on your mind. Go to places where a bunch of people that have similar interests go to, even if you don't talk to anyone. Its good to be around people, and you might find someone you want to risk your feelings on, platonic or other. I gets better, but only if you have an open mind on what "better" can mean. You're a writer? Getting into a writing community can be difficult, even more-so than a drawing community, but if you find other communities that your writings could fit into, so you don't have too many people trying to critique your work, and they can enjoy it for what it is. My boyfriend is an amazing writer, and thats one thing I can't get enough of from him. I can't stand books, but his writing captivates me. Someone will probably feel that way about you. Don't lose hope.
(Also, unrelated, but my captcha looked like "lovd" but was "loud". This makes me feel a lack of "lov.")