ITT we insult the poster above us [PART V] (999)

1 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4879 12:52

>>999 couldn't come up with an original insult

2 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4879 13:06

>>1 is an idiot

3 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4879 13:50

>>2 was voted Most Likely To Die of a Terminal Spaz Attack in high school.

4 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4879 15:52

>>3 was the only voter for the entire contest

5 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4879 15:53

>>3 never made it to high school.

6 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4879 16:03

>> 4 and >>5 fucked up the timing

7 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4879 17:52

>>6 fucked up Old Ike Thomas

8 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4879 20:17

>>7 pulled that name out of his ass

9 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4879 20:24

Ironically enough, >>8 fucked Old Ike Thomas up the ass.

10 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4879 21:23

Sadly for >>9, Old Ike Thomas wanted to return the "favor"

11 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4879 21:40

Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped-turned upside down, and I liked to take a minute, just sit right there, I'll tell you how >>10 became the queen of a board called DQN.

Sixty years ago, >>10 worked in what was once his grandfather's greenhouses. Gramps had died a year earlier and Grandma, now in her seventies had been forced to sell to the competition. >>10 got a job with the new owners and mostly worked the range by himself. That summer, they hired a man to help >>10 get the benches ready for the fall planting.

Ike always looked like he was three days from a shave and his whiskers were dirty white, shaded by the brim of his battered felt fedora.

He did not chew tobacco but the corners of his mouth turned down in a way that, at any moment, >>10 expected a trickle of thin, brown juice to creep down his chin. His bushy, brown eyebrows shaded pale, gray eyes.

The old-timer extended his hand, lifted his leg like a dog about to mark a bush and let go the loudest fart >>10 ever heard. The old fellow then winked at >>10, "Ike Thomas is the name and playing pecker's my game."

>>10 thought he said, "Checkers." >>10 was nineteen, green as grass. >>10 said, "I was never much good at that game."

"Now me," said Ike, "I just love jumping men ..."

"I'll bet you do."

"... and grabbing on to their peckers," said Ike.

"I thought we were talking about ..."

"You like jumping old men's peckers?"

>>10 shook his head.

"I reckon we'll have to remedy that." Ike lifted his right leg and let go another tremendous fart. "He said, "We best be getting to work."

That summer of 1941 was a more innocent time. >>10 learned most of the sex he knew from those little eight pager cartoon booklets of comic-page characters going at it. Young men read them in the privacy of an outside john, played with themselves, by themselves and didn't brag about it. Sometimes, we got off with a trusted friend and helped each other out.

Under the greenhouse glass, the temperature some times climbed over the hundred degree mark. >>10 had worked stripped to the waist since April and was as brown as a berry. On only his second day on the job and in the middle of August, Ike wore old fashioned overalls. Those and socks in his high-top work shoes was every stitch he wore. When he bent forward, the bib front billowed out and >>10 could see the white curly hairs on his
chest and belly.

"Me? I just love to eat pussy!" Ike licked his lips from corner to corner then sticking his tongue out far enough that the tip could touch the end of his nose. He said, A man's not a man till he knows first hand, the flavor of a lady's pussy."

"People do that?"

He winked. "Of course the taste of a hard cock ain't to be sneezed at neither. Now you answer me, yes or no. Does a man's cock taste salty or not?"

"I never ..."

"Well, old Ike's willing to let you find out."

"No way."

"Just teasing," said Ike. "But don't give me no sass or I'll show you my ass." He winked. "Might show it to you anyway, if you was to ask."

"Why would I do that?"

"Curiosity, maybe. I'm guessing you never had a good piece of man ass."

"I'm no queer."

"Now don't be getting judgmental. Enjoying what's at hand ain't being queer. It's taking pleasure where you find it with anybody willing." Ike slipped a hand into the side slit of his overalls and I could tell he was fondling and straightening out his cock. "Now I admit I got me a hole that satisfied a few guys."

>>10 swallowed, hard.

Ike winked. "Care to be asshole buddies?"

12 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4879 21:50

>>11 is longwinded.

13 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4879 21:55

>>12 can't pay attention

14 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4879 22:19

>>13 can't pay for attention

15 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4879 22:54

>>14 pays for sex.

16 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4879 23:18

>>15 gets paid for sex

17 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4879 23:26

>>16 gets paid to remain celibate

18 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4879 23:59

19 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 00:06

>>18 pays >>17 to come up with good insults for this thread, making >>17 the biggest fraudster this century

20 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 00:10

>>19 pays the eternal price.

21 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 00:13

>>18 prays for sex

22 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 00:25

>>21 took 14 minutes to think of that.

23 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 00:50

>>22 spams stickies on /a/ to seem "hip" and "cool"

24 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 01:28

>>23 spams /b/ to seem "hip" and "cool"

25 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 01:32

>>24 goes to 4chan

26 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 01:40

>>25 goes to 7chan, because it's supposedly so much less retarded than 4chan

27 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 04:12

>>26 goes to 4-ch, because it's supposedly so much more metal than 7chan

28 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 04:42

>>27 thinks Tom Petty is pretty metal.

29 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 05:04

>>28 wants Tom to pet him.

30 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 06:08

>>29 gets pet by Tom

31 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 06:40

>>30 is the only person on myspace who is not tom's friend.

32 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 09:08

>>31 is Tom DeLay.

33 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 11:55

>>32 is Tom ReLay

34 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 12:11

>>33
looks at the previous threads for insults

35 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 12:19

>>34 had to ask his mom with help for insults

36 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 12:38

>>35 secretly hates mittens

37 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 13:28

>>36 secretly loves >>35

38 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 13:44

>>37 would love >>36 in the open, but is afraid of being ostracized

39 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 16:47

>>38 has no such fear

40 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 19:37

>>39 is the man without fear, mostly due to the lobotomy he received at the state mental institution.

41 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 20:28

>>40 stole my candy

42 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 20:56

>>41 is a babyfur

43 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 21:41

>>42 is fursecuting >>41! Hey everyone, >>42's a fursecutionist!

44 Name: ⊂二二二( ^ω^)二二二⊃ : 1993-09-4880 21:45

>>43 broke the rules by insulting more than one poster

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