How to get chicks and not worry about self improvement (49)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-08 07:20 ID:oM+sgRjB

Ok...I've been here and I've helped a bunch of people, but now I've decided to go ahead and give everyone some of my secret sexual powers over women. Here goes:

  1. Be an asshole. This is key. Women love assholes. They know what they are getting. They don't want sensitive bitch tits who get out here and try to be nice. Women find these guys creepy and needy. Assholes speak their mind, call other people worse assholes, fart, belch, and hold nothing back. The KEY is not to be the WORST asshole. Just an AVERAGE asshole. An asshole with a few moderately redeeming values. The extreme assholes are jock douchebags who peaked their prime during highschool, knocked up some slut, and now work as janitors. Don't be that way.
  2. Scratch your balls. You heard me, scratch your balls. Adjust them, fondle them. Not so overtly as to obscene, but enough to be noticed as a man who enjoys his junk and is proud of it. It is manly and shows that you have them.
  3. Take no shit. This goes with being an asshole, but seriously take no shit from anyone. Not your friends, girlfriends, God, the Police, minorities, or even the Pope(ESPECIALLY the Pope). Don't go around picking fights, but definitely take no shit. Taking shit is weakness. Don't pick fights, but also plan how you take no shit carefully. Taking no shit isn't always chest thumping, shouting, or shoving. Taking no shit can just as easily be finding a way to fuck someone over later. Be devious and keep it semi-legal.
  4. Put women into their place. This borders the fine line between misogyny and being an awesome dude. Hold doors open for women, laugh heartily at their foibles, accept no feminazi bullshit, and admire their breasts. That's right, take a good gander at those tits. Don't stare. Staring is creepy, but take a good look. Audibly say "check out the tits on her". Women secretly like that, but won't admit it. Women are as proud of their tits as men are of their dick size, if not moreso.
  5. Have enemies. Every hero is defined by their enemies. Just as Sherlock had Moriarty and Optimus Prime had Megatron, you too must have enemies. This imbues a nature of danger to your character. chicks dig that, it makes them feel like they are supportive. The more powerful your enemies, the better.
  6. Apologize extremely rarely. Never apologize for your overly weeaboo anime collection, your politics, or your hobbies. Don't apologize for assholery or debauchery. Save that rare moment when you DO apologize for a special occasion because it will make her feel important.
  7. Rub her ass. Once you get to a comfortable period of touching, give her ass a little rub while dancing. She'll dig that.
  8. Have secrets. Dark secrets. EVIL secrets. It makes you seem mysterious and dangerous. Chicks love that. The assault rifle cache in the basement, the poker shack in the woods, that secret gentleman's club you belong to, the eight man circle jerk you joined in on in college....tell her NONE OF IT. drop hints...but no truths.

9.Genuninely complement her hair and shoes. Women care more about their hair and shoes than is healthy. They dig this immensely.

and finally

10. Treat her like shit on occasion, but also know when to treat her like pure, solid gold. Because that in her mind makes it worth it to put up with your shit. Chicks dig that.

These are some of my secrets. Use them wisely, they DO work. I've skipped some basic stuff, this is mostly for people who actually have talked to at least one or two human girls in their lives.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-08 17:46 ID:J2jEgPoK

Your "secrets" are nothing new, everyone knows this. Did you read this in Maxim or what?

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-08 18:28 ID:Ti9334dF

No....This is something I came up with on my own.

I just decided to help you people. I can give individual advice like getting Steyr AUGs or playing race cards, but this is broader advice to more people.

I try to help people. Unfortunately this does me no good because, like, the only girl good enough for me is Hotaru.

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-08 18:29 ID:Ti9334dF

Also being a raving psychotic helps a lot too.....

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-09 21:12 ID:RqD4BPYr

Who am I kidding? I don't even like women. In fact, I kind of hate them. I can go on dates and all that, but it leaves me empty.

I hate their personalities, their neediness, and it almost seems like their only purpose is human reproduction.

Perhaps that's just the nihilism talking, I dunno.

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-09 22:45 ID:7LtWgnMX

>>5
You must be homosexual.

7 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-10 14:50 ID:w6V2zXiL

>>6
No, I'm not.

8 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-10 16:53 ID:Heaven

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           |:::::::| ,,,,,_  ,,,,,,|
           |r-==( 。);( 。)
           ( ヽ  :::__)..:: }
        ,____/ヽ  ー== ;  >> Yeah, I collect anime. And? Japan is cool.
     r'"ヽ   t、   \___ !
    / 、、i    ヽ__,,/
    / ヽノ  j ,   j |ヽ
    |⌒`'、__ / /   /r  |
    {     ̄''ー-、,,_,ヘ^ |
    ゝ-,,,_____)--、j
    /  \__       /
    |      "'ー‐‐---

9 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-10 21:25 ID:2db1Rh2/

Japan isn't cool. They USED to be cool, like in the 30s or something, before the germans bombed us at pearl harbor

10 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-11 01:46 ID:80cTF86y

>>1

The only thing that is useful is numbers 9 and 10. Everything before that is just abosoloutely ridiculous and stupid. Then again, leave it to a guy on the internet to think of such idiotic ideas...

11 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-11 01:54 ID:abHlqyy9

>>9
didn't japan bomb U.S at pearl harbour?

12 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-11 02:31 ID:U/p1wSDF

actually these are decent ideas, if used in moderation.

13 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-11 02:47 ID:K23mhOMq

>>10

These are sound ideas. Very sound. And they work, but unfortunately I don't really like that many women.

Nobody is as good as Hotaru....

and >>11 Don't you dare try to stop me, I'm rolling....

14 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-11 03:20 ID:80cTF86y

>>13

How would you know if they work if you don't even really like many women?

15 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-11 04:39 ID:K23mhOMq

Simple my dear, 14.

I tried these tactics to much success, but found many disappointments. I'm one of these people who have no problem picking up women, but find that I don't really like them. I'm not queer or nothing and I have really, really unique standards.

I mean some of them look good and all that, but when you have deep conversations it's all "blah blah blah drama queen, blah blah blah when are we going to shack up, blah blah blah can I borrow 50 bucks for a new outfit, blah blah blah vote for John Kerry, he windsurfs, blah blah blah blah meet my parents"

For a nihilist, this is not good conversation. Plus many females I have come across have like stupidly diametrically opposing political beliefs from mine. I'm a quasi-fascist, right leaning libertarian nihilist. And everyones all liberal and stuff. Even like the "republican" girls are all dowdy and liberal too. But that's ok. That's just what I believe, and they believe different and I REFUSE to "hook up" with a girl in spite of my beliefs because then I'll just have to suffer for the nookie which isn't even all that great.

Basically, nobody I know is like Hotaru. But I still feel my tactics are useful

16 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-11 08:00 ID:Heaven

>>11

That was Israel, shortly before they took control of amiland.

>>15

Bitter, sad person.

17 Name: Mireille guy : 2006-04-11 09:03 ID:X3yyA6dT

I must disagree with some of those..
Depending how you act will get you a certain kind of girl. (personally not my type if she digs all those attitudes.)
If you want to like the girl, you ought to be yourself. I do strongly agree with 3. 4. and 8.
The "scratch your balls" thing won't do for me. I like classy women, and I enjoy being a gentleman.

18 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-11 21:36 ID:J2jEgPoK

Acting like something you are not only works for the short term. In the end you will be debunked, and you will be not only fake but very lonely too.

Women do not want to date "assholes", they want someone who is confident and I think many men get the two confused. Do not act confident, BE confident. I do not want to be with a man who seems unsure of himself, because how can he be sure of anything else?

Your tips seem more like a guide to be being trailer trash...

19 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-11 21:47 ID:80cTF86y

>>18

Or dating one...

20 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-11 23:04 ID:VFNJXsRK

....I know, I know.

I was just trying to help.

Actually I just get by on my looks.

21 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-13 01:04 ID:G3q740Uw

>>18 I thought being an ass and being confident are the same for men?

22 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-13 01:12 ID:vhypu85d

Not worry about self improvement? But how am I supposed to lead the unwashed masses to a crimson-red, bloody revolution without a charisma that is firmly rooted in my surprisingly refined character (... "for his age")?

23 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-13 03:49 ID:J2jEgPoK

>>21 I do not think they are the same for men. I know men who are confident, classy, and very kind...nothing close to an asshole. Most of the assholes I know are not really confident, just rude.

24 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-13 04:07 ID:80cTF86y

>>21 They are NOT the same thing! I've seen both and they are completely different. As >>23 mentioned, assholes are just plain rude and, well, assholes. Confidence does not equal to being an asshole.

If the guy gives off an air of being self-assured and is able to exercise his self-assurance by trusting his abilities without doing asshole-y things- then he is self confident. And that is a whole lot sexier than an asshole.

25 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-14 19:56 ID:CUAjVWOG

>>1 needs to either wisen up or get castrated.
Your behavior towards people attracts certain people.
Act like an asshole, and you'll attract idiots. Are you really surprised that you can't find a woman to have a decent conversation with?

26 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-14 20:20 ID:ib5pwG7t

I shall give you no quarter 25.

I stand by my words.

27 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-15 03:46 ID:h1BcT8os

I could be confident about my video game prowess and that'd be sexy to a female? Does not compute.

I don't understand this thing about confidence. Studies have shown that those who don't consider themselves incompetant are actually more incompetant than those that do. If you never doubt or are unsure of yourself - it is hard to be sure you're doing the right thing in this world - you may indeed be incompetant. Doubting yourself is a sign of intelligence.

I guess I can see this from a female's point of view. Women wish for protection, and an incompetant man is much more likely to start a fight due to his confidence to protect an ideal. The competant man considers, "Maybe I was wrong," and ends up coming off as the weaker of the two.

28 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-15 04:33 ID:aWuPKam/

Actually.....I'm the OP and while I like to be controversial and while what a general bit of what I had said is, in fact, sound.

I would say that the best advice of all would be to be to just do what you deem to be right at the time.

If you feel you have to be an oversensitive nice guy and suck up to a girl, then do it.

If you feel that you should complement a girl on her breast size, then do it.

If if feels good, do it. Just be prepared for the consequences of your actions.

There really is no good advice to getting women, perhaps that IS the best advice I could give. Some women love men out of pity, others out of fear, some out of greed, and a great many out of desperation.

So I would say that what I posted in >>1 can work if it works for you....or something else. It doesn't matter.

Nihilism works for me, and maybe being a door mat works for others. In heavy metal, it isn't whether you win or lose, but who bangs their head harder.

29 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-15 10:31 ID:CUAjVWOG

>>27
Gamers are sexy. As long as that's not the only thing they've got going for them. A jerk's a jerk, regardless of he's confident in an area or a hundred. At least I do not fancy jerks, though the "everything is someone's fetish" is too true. Generic good people who also are good at gaming are just even hotter, in my opinion :-p

>>28

>"Some women love men out of pity, others out of fear, some out of greed, and a great many out of desperation."

All those versions of love you've listed sound pretty unstable and negative to me. Doesn't sound like the least bit of a good relationship in the long run. Could maybe work if all you wanted was a very short-term relationship, but if you want someone who you'll be spending a lot of time with for many years, you need to avoid such bad relationships.
Human relationships aren't necessarily created due to some great weakness. You seem to have a very black and white view on the world. It's fully possible to not be a jerk without being a doormat either.

The reason for why many women don't like to be complimented on their breast size is because they feel it reduces them to nothing but an object. Sure, feel free to compliment them if you show that you are fully aware of and appriciate more than just their breasts, and want to get to know more about them than just the things that are blatantly obvious, but too many feel they're being seen as mere brainless fuckdolls if that's the first thing they hear (which feels quite insulting to people who actually are rather intelligent and aren't just looking for a one-night stand), especially since breasts are not an achievement, but just genetical traits they've randomly been given. And it's rather bloody frustrating when people have idle conversations with your breasts, barely paying attention to what one says (no, not random babble about shopping or other bullshit, but actually interesting topics). One's body should be seen as just that, one's shell, what one choose to show to the outside world but can only effect to a certain degree (without surgery, at least).

30 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-15 20:53 ID:iMW3I95c

Non non non non......

You've got me all wrong >>29, granted my nihilism and relatively negative view on the world has made me see things in a decidedly darker tone than anything else, but I'm not saying that one should ogle a girls breasts. I would not do that and that certainly wouldn't be the first thing I would say. In fact, while I do admire a woman's breasts and the concavity thereof, they aren't the main thing I care about. Besides, I actually think it would be rude NOT to complement a girl on her tits.

Tits, hair, ass, and shoes. Women are the most self conscious about those four things. Besides, I heard that according to a study in Germany that looking at and admiring tits was healthy and should be encouraged. There's a reason for it. Tits are a secondary sex characteristic. They serve the same purpose as a peacock's feathers or a robins red breast. They are meant to be attractive. They add feminine shape and feel good when you lay your head on them. They are soft and cushiony.

Of course, tits alone do not a good person make. Because there are a lot of people who pay good money to have fancy tits and they are still complete assholes.

Now me, I am not really an asshole or a jerk. I'm not a very nice person either. So I just be myself, and while it may be offsetting for the faint of heart, it works for me. Like a male friend if he runs track or takes up lifting weights, I will compliment on his physique. Like "Hey Dave, You're getting muscular, must be really working out, huh?" Men are very proud of their arms and their chest. Vain and bodystrong creatures, men can be sometimes moreso than women. So it would be rude of me, as a person, to not compliment somebody on their good fortune or hard efforts.

If a girl takes getting a compliment for her titties as an insult then she is just very stuck up. Now I do NOT advocate people going around and just saying "nice tits" to everybody especially just complete strangers they didn't even know. I mean you wouldn't just run up to a complete stranger and say "WOW! Nice arms, bro. You must really pump your guns" because depending on who you talk to, that could be an ass whipping in the making right there. But if you introduce yourself and engage in a conversation and drop that little line, then it will be cool and taken as a compliment.

So yes, in that manner you should compliment women on their tits. And I don't think it reduces them to "fuckdolls" because if I wanted a fuckdoll, I'd pay my $6,000 and buy one that didn't smart off at the mouth with me. In fact I think it should be taken for what it is, a platitude.

OH and BTW, Human relationships as we know them today are relatively new. In olden times, men would either buy a woman, take a woman, or be given a woman as a gift. She would then bear his children, raise them, feed both him and the children, and make sure his hut did not burn down while he waged war in some distant land.

So be thankful for what you have if you are one of those hippie, feminist, girl power types. But, in all honesty, while that CAN be exciting at first, it does get boringly old and stale after a while. I mean a guy goes out and wages war all day or busts his everloving ass at a job he despises and comes home all he wants to do is eat, take a shit, watch TV, get his rocks off and go to bed. He doesn't need or want to hear about all this "we" shit or all this lame "I want this" or "you need to do this" bullshit. Save that bullshit for the weekend when he's rested and is more open to doing stuff. In the time being, keep him fed, full and happy so he is inspired to continue laboring his ass off.

31 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-16 11:02 ID:CUAjVWOG

>>30

>Tits, hair, ass, and shoes. Women are the most self conscious about those four things.

Shoes..? Wtf mate? That must be some weird leftover from the time when a woman's ankles were more of a sexual bodypart than her boobs.

The way human relationships in general are, vary from time to time as well as culture. But indeed were and still are women frequently seen as living objects.
Though I fail to see how I should be excessively thankful over that females are not an object in the society I live in when the society I live in is not supposed to be identical to the one in the past. The society as it is now only builds on the past, it is not the one from back then. Are you actively grateful for that you're not seen as an object by most humans? I live in the present time, not hundreds of years ago. Are you actively grateful for that you don't suffer from famine, when such a thing was yet another of the daily problems in the past?

And hippie femnazis and girlpower people are just as creepy as hippie malenazis and manpower type of people, you know.

And as for the complimenting on a woman for her breasts, yes, just dropping that line somewhere along the line isn't a bad thing, however, there are many people who just walk up to someone and go "Nice tits!" and then spend the rest of the time staring at them, which is why it gets annoying in such situations. Complimenting them on their boobs on amongst other things isn't bad nor reduces females to fuckdoll. However excessively being fixated on their breasts at the expense of paying attention to most other things does that. Sadly enough, that happens more than seldomly. Fortunately rarely enough where I spend most of my times at.

Technically, breasts aren't ment to be attractive, though. Not any more than most other body parts. Breasts are first and foremost ment to be a way to feed potential children. Hips usually are a better sign of one's ability to pop out offspring healthy offspring. Small breast can feed children as well as larger such, though a rounded, fat boob is a leftover from the ideal of women that are well fed and can keep their young'uns well fed as well. I'm assuming the same applies to a big butt in the combo with the hip thing.
Culture dictates what's seen as sexually attractive, most of the time. It's rather fun to read about what used to be (and still are at some places) seen as the sexual features in different cultures and times. Now, I have nothing against boobs as also sexually attractive features. Boobs are nice and cosy.

However, a lot of things are relative to a situation, and that includes whether or not it's okay to compliment someone on their breasts.
Compare to for instance killing someone, or giving someone a cake with ground hazelnut inside the cake. Killing someone just for fun is generally seen as a bad thing, while as killing someone in self defence is usually seen as while as not good, often is seen as more preferable than to be killed like a paralyzed lamb for the taking. And giving someone who loves hazelnut such a cake tends to be quite a good thing, but giving a cake with hazelnut to someone you directly know is allergic to nuts is usually not. My examples are a bit.. extreme? But I hope it gets the idea across efficiently without muddling it.

32 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-04-16 16:09 ID:ywUdojXr

>>31

You just don't get it do you?

33 Name: cyra : 2006-05-15 06:12 ID:4UXKCQ4S

I'm a woman and number 5 is totally right... I hate my own sex half the time... all they do is whine and wont shut up!

34 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-15 06:47 ID:J2jEgPoK

Self-hating women are so funny, because MOST women say that hate their gender most of the time.

35 Name: >>1 from another thread : 2006-05-15 13:37 ID:pcxe2O6U

For some reason it seems like >>1 is channeling the spirit of Tom Leykis or something. Or at least the comb-over.

The truth of the matter is, there's no sure-fire way to pick up chicks, one hundred percent of the time. The principal from Killer 7 lied to you.

Every girl, hell, every person, has their own set of strengths and weaknesses, which is of course up to you folks to figure out. It's kinda like Pokémon, I guess. Figure out what a particular girl likes and then go and rock it. All I'd ask is that you don't be fake about it, because women can smell fake people like bloodhounds sometimes.

Don't play Mojo Master, by the way. That game's kinda shitty, even though it is quite the step up from the usual shitfest licensed freeware game. But that's for the games board to discuss.

36 Name: G Otoko!AboRDsJIEk : 2006-05-15 19:45 ID:/SZHchIc

>>1
>>3

/r/ advice on AUG's since I think your entire plan is full of shit.

By following your plan, you're asking people to be something that they are not. Most people are NOT assholes. I really doubt anyone could keep that act up for any length of time.

But if it works for you, i'm glad. :)

37 Name: Pms : 2006-05-15 20:04 ID:xV9dbwBj

I don't care what you do, girls will never stop.

38 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-15 20:10 ID:xV9dbwBj

excuse # 37, I was IMing someone.

Being an asshole is appealing though, but you sound a little like a future wife beater. But thats just me. Being and ass and not taking shit annoys girls sometimes. Girls like it when a guy can connect. A connection is more important to a gal than scratching and fondling your nuts. If you can be an ass to sweet as tea to her, then you've got it right.

39 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-16 00:31 ID:/m/Nm4v4

God...You people are whiners.

Actually That was just for fun. You don't need my advice if you are cool enough.

As for Steyr AUGs. You should totally get one, because then you will literally be flooded in chicks. Chicks dig many things. Among them are Steyr AUGs, giant robots, and fashion.

40 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-16 04:48 ID:SIOQP+jx

You should always strive to improve yourself, regardless of whether or not it's to impress a girl. What the fuck kind of attitude is that?

41 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-16 07:12 ID:Heaven

Self-improvment is for delusional people chasing false happiness

42 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-16 12:48 ID:Heaven

>>41
Right up there with spell-checking, amirite.

43 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-16 18:26 ID:hkK9VroA

>>41 true happiness is weighing 400 pounds and sitting in front of the computer all day while you apply hemorroidal cream with a sock amirite

44 Name: Bunny-san : 2006-05-16 21:47 ID:C2JDL3sh

Save the whole hickish "beat up mah wife y'all" complex, some of these things are true.

Being TOO sensitive is probably as big of a turnoff for girls as being a complete asshole is. No girl wants a guy whose life is as big of a dorama as hers is, right?

45 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-16 22:17 ID:8wnN6+S+

It never hurts to have a Steyr AUG or to enjoy trance music.

46 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-05-24 11:31 ID:Vd4SeL/N

>>1 That works for getting a piece of pussy that's gonna leave you for the next jerk, but not for a good, intelligent full-functional human being

47 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-02 08:21 ID:onHXaWRb

48 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-03 22:35 ID:Heaven

not this shit again

49 Name: Secret Admirer : 2006-07-10 05:59 ID:qmybFzMN

There are different boys with different tastes
There are different girls with different tastes

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