long distance competition (6)

1 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-08 11:33 ID:EBf07sYc

I recently met this girl, we got along great. Really well infact, I know its early days - but it seems as if she's if she's more interested in some other guy that's around 6 hours away (and more expensive to see)

With me, usually this is the other way around - in such that I like a girl that lives far-ish away, and then someone local sweeps her away from me because they have more of a means to.

She seemed cool with meeting up again, which is great. I spent the entire day with her and she didnt seem pissed or anything, I mean later on she did get her phone out and probably text the guy, but thats expected.

What I worry is, that he might be competition. Sure I think she's a great friend, but I ALSO like her..but due to the uncertainity of how its working with this guy, I couldnt say how it'd go. He has this 'geeky' appeal that girls tend to go for these days, and such it appears as if he talks to several girls. What i'd hope is that he treats them all equally and they think they're special, but he isnt interested. I mean, being a guy myself..regardless of me liking girls that dont live locally, id almost always prefer to live closer to someone I liked because its more convenient, for both of us. She might be moving soon too, which isn't great for me I guess, but it doesnt help the other guy either as it's still the same distance. Either way, i'd like to see if something could blossom, whilst she was still here.

Any idea of what I could invite her to do? How long should I leave til I ask her to want to do things and such?

Also, any way to make myself look superior to this guy? I mean he's a fucking geek, and with that looks creative. I'm comparitively normal and have healthy interests.

2 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-10 09:22 ID:OKY7YX4n

>>1

(First, it must be said that someone being a "geek" doesn't make them less of a person... It's demeaning to say otherwise, considering "geeks" are perfectly normal people as well...)

In any case, you need to do more things with her all the time, make her see that you're interested in being with her now, and that you're able to be with her now, when your competition can't be...

It's a bit of a dirty way to win someone over, admittedly, but you've got to use the advantage of having her close-by to your benefit... (And, naturally, slowly slip in comments that you enjoy spending time with her into the conversation, and such, if you want her to think of you that way...)

She may never get over her friendly/otherwise relationship with her friend hours away, and you may have to accept that, should you get further with her, but at least you'll be somewhere, by the time she should have to move away, if you press your advantage;

(At least in your case, the "rival" lives further away... My situation, the girl kept mentioning how the only previous guy to get close to her died of some heart attack or something, and kept practically comparing me to him... It got to where I felt like I had competition beyond the grave... At least you don't have that to contend with)

3 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-10 09:45 ID:ZMjPkDw4

>>2

Yeah I guess that was the man rage coming through, i'm into geeky things myself(otherwise why the hell would I know about this board). I guess it's the way he broadcasts it, much like a guy would try and be overly macho and put topless pics on his profile or something. Very similar to the whole artistic emo fag look I guess, trying too hard but succeeding.

As I met up with her this week, ill wait til next week to meet up again, and it could be in a shorter burst (as I have had a week off work, having an excuse to go may squeeze more out of the day) But I wonder if this should be spontaneous or arranged? Its my birthday next week, so even then I could use that to my advantage to ask her to spend some time with me. Even if I were to see her once a week, it's still better than the other guy. She doesn't seem the sort to arrange a meeting anyway, so I guess it is in my bag to do that. I'm not sure when this'd get replied too, but should I state a day and work around that, or ask her whats best for her? I'm nice to her as it is so I guess it'd be better to be objective, which is what i'd go for by default I suppose.

What I can hope is that she wont meet this guy for another few weeks perhaps, or maybe not at all. The thing is I really value her as a friend too, so I dont want her to 'waste' her time with some guy who has several girls on the go. At least if I got the stage of a close friend I could know if things would work out in a relationship.

That sucks, you can't really defend yourself either, considering you like her..like with me joking that she only just met me when she mentioned the other guy :\ With something like that you'd have to persevere, just more so. I am lucky in that respect, yeah.. thanks for the advice, hopefully your problem has been since rectified, if not, make a post!

4 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-10 22:59 ID:ZMjPkDw4

Update:

Seems as if she likes talking to this guy so much she will totally halt conversation with me when he's online, which seems to be all the fucking time.

I will give her a few days without me actually making any effort to talk to her. It makes me feel pathetic to talk to someone who would be essentially brick walling me because some other guy appears more important than he is because he has (ive realised this) the advantage of being far away, I mean. Alot of things look good from far away, maybe THATS the appeal. I know he must've been the first guy she's met from a reasonable distance from where she's lived anyway, and she isn't 100% happy where she is now. So goes without saying, hopeful and full of dreams no doubt.

I guess if a person is happy with their surroundings, and getting involved with someone far away would only complicate things, then someone local WOULD be a better choice. But again, this seems reversed.

5 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-12 10:46 ID:Q63vSqcB

>>4

>Alot of things look good from far away, maybe THATS the appeal...

That's true. You're not really grateful about having a person around until they're not there anymore. That is, you start to miss them. And when you're missing them, you're often focusing/reminiscing on their good points, and making them better than they actually are. At least, that's what happened to me. I started developing feelings for a friend when he moved away. He suddenly became more attractive (physically and personality wise), simply because I hadn't seen him for ages and the distance made him unattainable. When we finally caught up again in person, my perfected image of him was dashed in a heart beat.

Silly innit?

6 Name: Secret Admirer : 2007-08-12 14:32 ID:kRMBx7hn

Well, it definitely makes the penis grow harder.
I'm sure anything will do.

This thread has been closed. You cannot post in this thread any longer.