( ´ω`) hello kids!

Grandpa, you buy viagra ? (´_`)V

( ´ω`) Why do you ask, Junior? Chinpo not doing its job?

Grandpa, you buy vagina?（・_・。）<3

(・∀・) Grandpa, what's the secret to graduating from high school?

( ´ω`) Stick to the Internet forums. So-called "real" friends will stab you in the back. You know those high school kids.

(・∀・) Grandpa, I'm selling candy bars for my marching band's trip to the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade! Can I count on you to buy three cases?

(・∀・) Because I, um, already told the band director I sold that many.

( ´ω`) Sorry Junior, can't do it. Diabetes, you know.

( ;´ω`) Plus, chocolate gives me the shits.

( ´ω`)>======[] You lying whippersnapper! There are no liars in our family! Get out!

Grandpa, How old are you ? (*´_`)

(・∀・) Dear, I already asked that question.

(;・∀・) And I've been noticing you've been coming onto my Grandpa lately. Why?!

( ´ω`) ﾉ@
( ´ω`) ﾉ――――@ sirrrrrrrrr
( ´ω`) ﾉ@ wup

( ´ω`) It's the toys, Junior!

☆*：.｡. .｡.：*･゜ﾟ･( ´ω`)(^_^。)：.｡. .｡.：･゜ﾟ･*☆
　☆*：.｡. .｡.：*･゜ﾟ･( ´(　　 )：.｡. .｡.：･゜ﾟ･*☆
　　　　　　　　　　　　kiss　

( °Д °)

☆*：.｡. .｡.：*･゜ﾟ･( ´ω`)(^_^。)：.｡. .｡.：･゜ﾟ･*☆
　☆*：.｡. .｡.：*･゜ﾟ･( ´(　　 )：.｡. .｡.：･゜ﾟ･*☆
　　　　　　　　　　　　kiss　
￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣○￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
　 　　　　　　　 o
　　　　　 　o　

          O
         o
   （-_-。）ZzzZZzzzZZZzzz.....

(・∀・) Oh, it was just a dream...

( ´ω`) Hey there Junior, have you seen my boxers?

(・∀・) Didn't they used to be over... there...
(・∀・) ...

(^_^。) What?

(*´ω`) Oh, uh, she has him I see, heh.

( °Д °)

( °Д °) ...

( ´ω`) Junior, are you all right?

( °Д °) ...

( ´ω`) Look, it's no what you may think it is.

( °Д °) ...

( ´ω`) Are you... are you going to be O.K.? Say something!

( °Д °) Oh, my God! I've gone BLIND!

(; ° Д ° ) LOVE IS OVER!

Too much happened while I was gone!

( °Ａ ° )it's horrible being blind, but maybe if I just accept it and move on, things will work out.

( °∀ ° )Grandpa, could you take me to the movies? I know can't see it anymore, but I thought I could at least listen to it, and you could tell me what's happening on the screen.

( °∀ ° )I hear "Pulp Fiction" is pretty good. It has Ving Rhames in it!

( ´ω｀)σ(・∀・) Do not keep stealing Grandpa's teeth

( ・ω・) < BEEP

( ・ω・) . . .

( ´ω｀) Who the hell are you?

( ・ω・) < I'm the illegitimate clone of ( ´ω｀) and (・∀・) !

( ´ω｀) Hmm, I don't seem to recall putting my ding-dong in Junior's baby hole.

( ・ω・) < You don't need to do that to make a clone, you know.

( °Ａ ° ) Clonepa, can you cure my blindness?

( ・ω・) < I'm not jesus, you know. But I can inform you that Grandpa and Fiancee are silently having sex as we speak.

☆*：.｡. .｡.：*･゜ﾟ･( ´(　　 )：.｡. .｡.：･゜ﾟ･*☆
whisper whisper whisper whisper

Σ(; ° Д ° )

( °Д °) It sucks being blind, but alteast I get a seeing-eye dog!

　　　 ／￣￣￣￣＼
　　／　　　　 ●　　●､　　　　　＿＿＿
　　|Y　　Y　　　　　　　 ＼ 　　／
　　| |　　 | 　　　　　　 ▼ |　＜ ARF
　　| ＼／　　　　　　＿人.|　　＼＿＿＿
　　|　　　　　　 ＿＿＿ノ
　　＼　　　 .／
　　　｜ ｜　|
　　　（_＿）＿）

( ・ω・) what the hell.

( ・ω・) < Seeing is like sex, it's overrated you know. I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near Tannhäuser Gate. And for what? All those moments will be lost in time like tears in the rain anyway.

( ´ω｀) Shut up and get back to mowing the kitchen.

( ・ω・) Ah, but Grandpa, don't you realize? I have all the questions and I have all the answers - in theory, I -AM- this thread, so you have no right t-

( ´ω`) GAH!
　　　　 ＼＼＼
　　　(⌒＼　　∧＿∧
　　　 ＼ ヽヽ（ ´ω`）Shut it, Clonepa, and MOW THE FUCKIN KITCHEN!
　　　　 (mJ　　 　 ⌒＼
　　　　　 ﾉ　∩　　/ ／
　　　　　（　 | .|∧＿∧
　 ／＼丿　|　（　　　 ）
　(___へ＿ノ ゝ＿＿ノ　　

( ЭωЭ) < ouch... I can't see anymore now. Where is that kitchen anyway?

( ЭωЭ) < because, I could use an ice pack or two.

( °∀ ° ) Uh...

( ЭωЭ) Eh...

　 　 　 　 　 BUMP!
Oof! (ЭωЭ 　)#( 　 °Д °) agh!

( °Д ° ) Hey, watch where you're going!

( ЭωЭ) What - no, YOU should watch where you're going!

( Эω●)< ...

one hour earlier

( ｀ハ´)　　三三　●
"⊂ノ　

( ●ω●) < I saw that!

( ・ω・) < OK, I got better.

( ・ω・) < Where is everybody? Grandpa? Junior? I feel left out...

( ´ω`) ﾉ@
( ´ω`) ﾉ――――@ sirrrrrrrrr
( ´ω`) ﾉ@ wup

( ´ω`) I've got a blind Junior, a clone, an evil nemesis of mine, and a lovely Fiancee to boot.

( ´ω`) ﾉ@
( ´ω`) ﾉ――――@ sirrrrrrrrr
( ´ω`) ﾉ@ wup

( ´ω`) And a yoyo.

( °∀ ° ) Sure must be great to have everything you could ask for, eh Grandpa?

( -Д -) Me on the other hand..

( ・ω・) < Is that tomato sauce on that yoyo? ...or...

( ´ω`) ﾉ@
( ´ω`) ﾉ――――@#( 　 °Д °) AGH!

(・∀・) Damnit Grandpa, stop th- hey, I can see again!

( ´ω`) Well, it was getting damn boring hearing you bitch about it.

(^_^。)
(_^。 )
(^。　)
( 　)
(　　｀)
(　｀ハ）
(｀ハ´）*!!! !!!*

( °Д °) !!
( ´ω`) !!
( ・ω・) !!

>>392
(（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) See what I did there? Deus Ex Machina!

( ・ω・) < Coincidence! He happened to get better at the moment you hit him, that's all.
( ・ω・) < Now please hit me too...

>>393

COMEDY━━━━━━(ﾟ∀ﾟ)━━━━━━GOLD !!

(・∀・) More like DQN Ex Machina am I rite?

( ´ω`) < nurupo

(・∀・) Granpda, if it's true that "Where there's a will, there's a way;" does that mean if there's a way, there is a will?

>>398
(・∀・) GA!

>>399
( ´ω`) no because some people are lazy

( ∀ω∀) Hey hey, look at me, who am I?

( ´ω`) Turn A Turn, Turn A Turn, Turn AAAaaaaaa koffkoff hack

(・∀・) Grandpa, the thread is becoming normal again! What should we do?

( ・ω・) < Grandpa is burned out.
( ・ω・) < Junior, it's time for you to take over the business!

( ´ω`) >>405 is part of today's youth with a depressingly short attention span. "It's time!" Bah. Now, let's hear some more questions!

(・∀・) Grandpa, what's the best way to save money for your old age? I tried burying my allowance in the backyard...

( ;・A・) ...but I forgot where I buried it.

( ´ω`) Buy gold and coat it with tungsten. They have the same density, everyone will be fooled. Everybody's doing it: http://www.theodoregray.com/PeriodicTable/Samples/074.1/index.s12.html

(｀ハ´） H-Hey! Did you forget about me?!

(・Д・;) Grandpa, did you know that Darkpa was your fiancee?!

( ・ω・) I should have really seen this coming.

( ´ω`) I did find it odd that felt a penis while groping/snogging.

(｀ハ´）Foolish Grandpa, ignorant Junior, and absent-minded Clonepa! I'm Darkpa III, self-claimed master of disguise! I'll always come back bigger and stronger and--

(｀ハ´)<(・∀・ ) prod

( ｀ハ´）(・∀・) Darkpa, though all that ass-kicking that went on recently between you and Grandpa was cool and stuff, we don't need another couple dozen scenes of action sequences. Not yet, anyway. Return in like, >>600+ or so, or start asking Grandpa questions.

(｀ハ´）... Questions, huh. Okay, I got one.

(｀ハ´）Grandpa, how do I get laid without crossdressing?

( ´ω`) Darkpa, my foul nemesis, you should be yourself at all times. Let people know who you really are and they'll accept you. Happiness can only follow then.

( ´ω`) In the meantime, stay away from me and Junior, you transvestite freak.

(・∀・) Granpa, why is an elaborate story forming in this thread?

( ´ω`) Quite, son. You're ruining the mood.

(・∀・) Grandpa, do you believe in global warming? Because it's really hot for November!

( ´ω`) I could make a really crass joke about how ladies' breasts are "globes" and wanting to warm up to them, but I want do it, Junior. No, sir! Don't even try to goad me into it!

( ´ω`) Ahem... that should be "won't" not "want" in >>414

( ´ω`) I'm getting too old for this....

(・∀・) Do IT! Do IT! Do IT! Do IT!

(・∀・) Grandpa, I was thinking earlier how we're kind of like a Comedy Duo now, and that has a long and admirable tradition!

(・∀・) Like, in recent times it's been people from Saturday Night Live. For example, Chris Farley & David Spade and John Belushi & Dan Akroyd. Jerry Lewis & Dean Martin are an even earlier example.

(・∀・) If you go back to the golden age of cinema, it was people like Abbot & Costello and Laurel & Hardy. Not to mention the many acts that were alive during the days of Vaudeville.

(・∀・) Even Japan has a Comedy Duo tradition straight from the rowdy streets of Osaka! Where one person, the straight man, sets up a joke by asking a very foolish question. That would be me, I guess. Ha ha! And the guy who has the answer, that would be you, Grandpa, would deliver a punchline and then hit... the... other... guy....

(・A・) Uh-oh. Maybe I said too much?

( ´ω`) Yes, I studied the 'manzai' comedy style when I was younger.

( ´ω`) ahem

　 _ 　∩
(　´ω`)彡 ☆ NANDEYANEN!
　 ⊂彡 ☆ ( `Д´)

( ´ω`) Said too much stupid! SMACK

( ・ω・) Yeah, lets all get Junior!
　　⊂彡☆))Д´)

( ｀ハ´) Kill the little one!
　　⊂彡☆))∀;)

( ・∀・) Yeah, beat him up!
　　⊂彡☆))∀;)

(;・∀・) Wait, wha-
　　⊂彡

( ・ω・) < damn those flies
　　⊂彡

(・∀・) Grandpa, what's your favorite manga?

( ´ω`) It's been a while since I've read any manga and I've forgotten the title, but the one I liked the most was a story about young, high school-age characters having to deal with zany/outrageous/unusual/comedic cirumstances who, at first, are at odds with each other which just masks their true feelings of romantic love for each other.

( ´ω`) You know which one I'm talking about, Junior?

(・∀・) Scooby Doo?

( ｀ハ´) That doesn't have girls with extremely short skirts and sexy faces.

(・∀・) I stopped reading a while ago. I'd like to catch up, but I think it's too much work.

( ´ω`) You're gonna be serving up fries for a living with that attitude, Junior!

( ・ω・) < Do you want flies with that?
　　　 つ彡

(・∀・) Don't worry, Grandpa. The job I have isn't in some low-rent fast foob place. I work with an upscale steakhouse chain in their advertising department.

　　 ∩;;;∩
　 （Ｙ;;;;;;;;;;ヽノ)
　　 i;;;;;;;;;;ﾟ;;;ﾟヽ
��/;;;;;;＼;;;;'⌒)
　)|;;;;;;;;(・∀・） < There's no BULL about our steak!
ι|;;;;;;;つ ;;;/つ
　　ヽ..;;;;;;;;/
　　　 U"U

( ´ω`) Hm, I remember the last time I went to a steakhouse...

(;´ω`) Why, I think I recall that being the first time meeting your Grandma...

(・∀・) Grandpa, Tell us more about when you met grandma! When did you have mom?

( ´ω`) I fucking told you about 4 different versions of this story on these threads already. Go read the thread, sonny.

(・∀・) I don't think any of those are the truth, Grandpa! I THINK YOU'RE SHITTIN' ME!

( ´ω`) I can see you are getting itchy again. Want me to scratch, sonny?

(・∀・) ENDLESS LOOOOPPP

　　　　|┃三 Slam!
　　　　|┃　　　　 ＠＠＠
　　　　|┃　≡　 ＠#、＠ 　
＿＿__.|ミ＼＿＿（ 　 ﾉ`） 　Honey！Which lies have you
　　　　|┃=＿＿||ヽ ^ /|＼ been telling them about me?!

(;´ω( ・∀・) Grandpa, why are you hiding behind me? It's just grandma!

( ・∀・) Grandpa, she doesn't have 9 tails like you said before.

( ・∀・) She has...lesseee....8 + 1/5 tails. What's up with THAT?

( ´ω`) Shut up, damnit!

( ・×・)

( ・ω・) I've been waiting for you...a messenger from the Relatives.

(・∀・) So you're the grandpa around here?

( ・ω・) No, not just here. I'm the grandpa to surpass Great Grandpa himself: Clonepa!

( ´ω`) No! That is not Clonepa!

( `・ω・´) Brother, I'm a whole different game from Darkpa! HRRRRR!!

( `・ω・´) The world needs only one Great Grandpa!

( ｀ハ´) Don't forget me!!

　　　　|┃三 Slam! Slam! Slam!
　　　　|┃　　　　 ＠＠＠
　　　　|┃　≡　 ＠#、＠ 　
＿＿__.|ミ＼＿＿（ 　 ﾉ`） 　Honey！Why did you let all
　　　　|┃=＿＿||ヽ ^ /|＼ of these people in the house?!

(・∀・) So Grandpa! You want that wierd looking furry thing to help you fight?

( ;´ω`) Damn, I need a drink!

　　　　|┃三 Slam! Slam! Slam!
　　　　|┃　　　　 ＠＠＠
　　　　|┃　≡　 ＠#、＠ 　
＿＿__.|ミ＼＿＿（ 　 ﾉ`） 　Honey！Why did you let all
　　　　|┃=＿＿||ヽ ^ /|＼ of these DQN in the house?!

( ´ω`) I o-only had Junior in here to answer his questions! I have no idea where these other DQN came from!

(・∀・) Grandpa, what happen to the Edmund Fitzgerald?

( ´ω`) The captain got blitzed, the first mate was taking a shit, and the damn thing ran into some rocks and spilt oil everywhere.

( ´ω`) Wait... that what the Exxon Valdez.