( ´ω`) hello kids!

( ´ω`) Sonny, I have to say but...I'm W.T.Snacks.

(・Д・) Grandpa, didn't you know? Nobody pays attention to the email field!

(・∀・) By the way, you've been calling me "Sonny" alot recently... could you have forgotten my name?

( ´ω`) Ergh...

(・∀・) Junior, Ju. Ni. Our. Get that old man?

(・∀・) Grandpa, I fucking hate you. I hate you so goddamn much.

(・∀・) >:(

( ´ω`) DQN spotted!

(・`_´・) Wtf?

(・∀・) Sorry about that, I was feeling emo.

(・∀・)ノ凸 Anyways, here's your medicine, Grandpa!

( ´ω`) No use..... I'm dying junior.

(・∀・) Fine, FINE! I'll ask you more questions!

(・∀・) Grandpa, were you on usenet during Eternal September? I mean, early on.

( ´ω`) "Early on?" I thought that was yesterday. Or maybe I get it mixed up with Black September?

*
/　＼
( ´ω`) Ho ho ho, meerrrry christmas, junior!!

(・∀・) Grandpa's Santa?!?

(・∀・) ZOMG PRESENTZ PLZ

( ´ω`) Have you been a good DQN this year?

(・∀・) Yes, Santa!

(・∀・) No, Santa!

(・∀・) Yes, Santa!

( ´ω`) That´s it! No christmas presents for you.

(・∀・) Noooooooooo! Santa!

(・Д・;）o O ( Christmas is over... and i still haven't gotten any presents..!)

( ´ω`) But you did get a present... you got me!

(・Д・;）o O ( ....... )

(ﾟДﾟ) o O (J-just now.. Did he read my mind?)

(;・∀・) um... Hey Grandpa! We're almost at 1000!

     Nirvana awaits!

( ´ω`) If I live that long.

( ´ω`) Junior, I have to tell you...I think I might finally pass away at >>1000 GET.

( ´ω`) You see, its come to my attention that a lot of the posts here are..interesting, but not as groundbreaking as the previous Grandpa thread. The lesser quality of your questions, and the less energy I have to stay alive.

( ´ω`) Some DQN may come along to make Grandpa 3.0, but the same Grandpa may not be there to answer your stupid questions.

(・∀・) Guess it's time for me to start havin' kids!

(・∀・) Grandpa, will we ever make it too >>1000 ?

( ´ω`) We already did.

( ´ω`) Junior, what self-respecting woman would like a DQN such as yourself?
(・∀・) Fiance---
( ´ω`) No. She was a figment of your imagination...

(・∀・) B-but she's really real!

( ´ω) |・＿・|<丶｀∀´> ( ｀ハ´）（ 　 ﾉ）( ・ω・)(*ﾟーﾟ)(・ー・）(（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）) No, she isn't, Junior.

（・_・。）i'm really not real. see look, i'm fading away now.
（・_
・
.
bink

(・∀・) .........

(;∀;) WWAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!

(・∀・) W-was it all just my imagination? E-even Grandpa?!

( ´ω`) No.

(・∀・) What is the Matrix?

( ´ω`) This is the matrix.

──
─────── ― -　--
─── /⌒ヽ　　────────
￣￣　 / ,ﾍ　 　　　　　￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣　　　,　”　'　‐ , 　　　　　　　
￣￣　i　.i　＼ （　´ω`ヽ, 　　___,, __ ＿ ,, - _―" ’.　　'　・,　　’・　　　 　∧＿∧ 　
──　ヽ勿　　ヽ,__＾ 　 j　 i〜""　　　　 ＿ ― ＿: i ∴”_　∵,　　　　　　(　　　　)
＿＿＿＿＿＿ 　 ヽ,,　/　/　__,,, -- "" ─ "ー ・, ；　; - 、・　　 r=-,/⌒　　〜ヽ
───────　 ヽﾉ　ﾉ,イ　　─── ― -　　　　　 　 　　 　i　ｙ 　ﾉ'　ﾉi　j |
───────　 /　/,. 　ヽ, 　──　　　　　　　　　　　　 　　 i,,___ノ　　　/／
＿＿＿＿＿＿ 　 丿 ﾉ　ヽ,__,ﾉ　＿＿＿ ＿　_ _　　　　　 　　 　　,'　　　　ゝi
　　　　　　　　　　 j　 i　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　 ／　　　y　ノ
＿＿＿＿＿ 　 　巛i〜　＿＿＿＿ ＿　　　　　　　　　　　　　/ 　　 ／〜／
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　 　　i　 　<　/

(・∀・) I expected a bit more 3D, but I guess that's okay.

(・∀・) Grandpa, how do you like your tea?

( ´ω`) I like my tea ZA WARUDO!!!!

(・∀・)

( ´ω`) Time has stopped.

(・∀・) |・＿・| <丶｀∀´> ( ｀ハ´）（ 　 ﾉ）( ・ω・) (*ﾟーﾟ) (・ー・） (（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）)

( ´ω`) Where am I?

( ´ω`) Oh, right, time stopped. Now how do I turn this thing back on...?

( ´ω`) Aaah, it's not important. ZZZZZzZzzzzzzZzz....

( ´ω`) ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzz......

( oωo)ITS

(・∀・)

(・∀・)

(（●）ﾄｪｪｪｲ（●）)

( ´ω`) Hmm...idea!

( ´ω`) ﾉ@　　　 　(・∀・)
( ´ω`) ﾉ――――@#(・∀・) smack!
( ´ω`) ﾉ@　　　 　(・∀・)
( ´ω`) ﾉ――――@#(・∀・) smack!

( ´ω`) AHahahaha COUGH COUGH Ahahaha COUGH...ah, that's the shit.

( ´ω`)y━･~~ I need a smoke.

(・∀・)

(・∀・) Grandpa, s'like,,, wow, man. Y'know? Just... woah.... Think about it, man.

( ´ω`) It's over already?

(・∀・)

( ´ω`) Oh, his idiocy was just seeping through.

(・∀・） Don't die on us now, Gramps!

(・∀・) What are your wishes for the new year, Gramps?

(・∀・)

(・∀・)

(・Д・)

( ´ω`) 1. A harem consisting of all the hot babes in anime, hentai, video games, etc.
2. Die by suffocation of several pairs of boobs squished against my head. Then come back to life, then die again.
3. No Grandpa 3.0. I'm too old for this shit.
4. For you to shut up. How'd you even break out of that spell?

( ・ω・) Doesn't it only last for 10 seconds?

( ・ω・) Although the length of 10 seconds when time has stopped is debatable.

( ´ω`)

（　ܶωܶ）

( ・ω・) According to my calculations, if September had ended on time, it would currently be the year 2006 in some areas! Isn't that interesting?

(・Д・) What the fuck are you smoking?

( ´ω`) The Boss was working for the US all along, eh?

( ´ω`) Oh, sorry Junior, didn't mean to spoil the ending to MGS3 or nothing. Since I'm playing Solid Snake in MGS4 I figured I'd go over the whole storyline again.

(・Д・) I was playing that and everything!

( ´ω`) I also saved over your game.

(・Д・) What the f

( ´ω`) THE WORLD!

(・Д・)

( ´ω`) Ah, much better.

(・∀・） niggaplease, STARPLATINUKK!!

( ゜ω゜) W-What?!

(・∀・）Grandpa, what's your opinion on Genghis Kahn, ruler and founder of the Mongol Empire?

( ´ω`) He was here just now. You must have missed him.

(・∀・） Yes, but what do you think of him?

( ´ω`) Sorry junior, I'm getting old and can't hear properly. What did you say again?

(・∀・） WHAT DID YOU THINK OF HIM!!??

( ´ω`) Sorry junior, I'm getting old and can't hear properly. What did you say again?

(・∀・）MOM JUST SAID WE'RE PUTTING YOU IN AN ABUSIVE NURSING HOME.

(;;`Д´) #*%$!!!!!!!

(・∀・）Don't have a cow, man.

( ´ω`) Abusive nursing home? Well, now that you mention it, I am up for a little BDSM!

(・∀・）Oh Grandpa, what will you ever do next? Hahahaha.

( ´ω`) Sorry junior, I'm getting old and can't hear properly. What did you say again?

(・∀・）MOM JUST SAID WE'RE TAKING AWAY YOUR PILLS SO WE CAN GET A NEW DVD PLAYER.

( ´ω`) A new record player?

(・∀・）What the fudge is a record player? MOMMMM HE'S TALKING NONSENSE AGAIN.

J( 'ｰ`)し WOULD YOU SHUT UP? I'M TRYING TO WATCH DR. PHIL.

(・∀・）Old fuckin' geezer. You should just kick the bucket already.

(・∀・）Back to my fuckin' music...

(;∀; ）CRAWWWLLIINNG IINNNN MY SKINNNN, THESE WOUUNNDDSS THEYY WILLLL NOT HEALLLL

( ´ω`) You want real emo? Listen to some of my old country records.

(・∀・） ♪When you're emo and you know it, slit your wrist♪

(・∀・） ♪When you're emo and you know it, slit your wrist♪

(・∀・） ♪When you're emo and you know it, and you really wanna show it, slit your wrist♪

( ´ω`)♪♪♪♪
(・∀・）-? WHAT
( ´ω`) ...
( ´ω`) ITS

( （●）ﾄｪ( ´ω`) !!!!!

(・∀・） Grandpa, have you ever gotten 888?

( ´ω`) I've been known to GET, now and then.

(・∀・）Grandpa, do you think that animes generally have good endings?

(・∀・）Personally, I think they're always horrid pieces of shit! Why can't the japanese make decent endings?!

　　 人
　　　　　　　　 （＿）
　　　　　　　　（＿＿）
　　　　　　 　（　・∀・） 　Jelous? Huh, Grandpa?
　　　　　　 __〃｀ヽ 〈＿ It's only a matter of time until..
　　　γ´⌒´-−ヾｖーヽ⌒ヽ
　　／⌒　 ｨ 　　　｀ｉ´　　）; ｀ヽ
　 /　　 　ﾉ＾ ､＿__￥＿_人　　|
　 !　　,,,ノ爻＼_　_人　ﾉｒ;＾ >　 ）
　（　　 <_ ＼ﾍ､,, ,+､ｒﾉ/　　/
　　ヽ_　　＼ ）ゝ､__,+､_ｱ〃 ／
　　　 ヽ､___ ヽ.=┬─┬〈　 ｿ、
　　　　 　〈J　.〉､| う　|,　|ヽ-´
　　　　　　/"" 　| ん　|:　|
　　　　　　ﾚ　　 :| :こ　|　ﾘ
　　　　　 /　　 ﾉ|＿＿|　|
　　　　　 |　,,　 ｿ　 ヽ　　）
　　　　　.,ゝ 　 ）　　ｲ ヽ ﾉ
　　　　　ｙ　｀ﾚｌ　　 〈´　 ﾘ
　　　　 /　　 ﾉ　　　|　　 |
　　　　 ｌ　　/　　　　ｌ;;　 |
　　　　 〉　〈 　　　　 〉　 |
　　　 /　　::|　　　　（_ヽ　＼､
　　　(｡ｍｎﾉ　　　　 　 ｀ヽｎｍ

( ´ω`) Tomino and Anno really did spoil you kids.

( ´ω`) Junior, I lasted 94 hours straight in a arm wrestle with Vin Diesel and nearly won. Bastard had to do his Diesel Drive - some funky move that defined the laws of physics and put me down. But 94 hours, Junior! Bet you couldn't last half a second against that man.

（　・∀・） Man? In school we learned that Vin Diesel is a force of nature!

( ´ω`) Vin Diesel created humans in his own image. Only a select few will ever get to see his true form.

( ´ω`) whoops, tl;dr >>895. I'm old, you know.

( ´ω`) Vin Diesel is the alpha and the omega. He binds and controls all atoms within the universe and all universes beyond even my knowledge.

( ´ω`) And I damn near beat him(it?) in arm wrestling, Junior. Though I have to admit...I was using my right arm. I did quite the amount of vigorous "training" with that arm.. heh heh.

(・∀・）Vin Diesel will benchpress you through a wall!

(・∀・）Grandpa, does that mean Vin Diesel wanks more than you?

( ´ω`) I haven't wanked in 20 years!

(・∀・） I haven't wanked since WHERE IS SARAH CONNER!